h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... or the Great Chicken of Kiev?

or the a la king?

*sets his flamethrower to ", king size"*

*Selects a grenade labelled "11 secret herbs & spices"*

the great chicken of Kiev? Doesn't that glow in the dark

*Shines up her bullets and loads them.*

So, what are you going to do? Knock?

aye

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

quick! guard the red button!

hide the vodka bottles
give us a
shiver me timbers

and all that



(hi gwennie, good to have you back . greetings from estonia. i just arrived here yesterday for a fortnights vacation )

Estonia! Wotchadoin'there, then? (Don't tell me Estonia hired a to glam up their 2007 Eurovision song contest entry!)

Where has the bar fridge gone and why are there no bottles of voddie awaiting my devoted attention?

What's more, who's painted all the big red buttons blue?

no comment

i am visiting a very dear female friend of mine, gwennie

we went into an international store here yesterday and much to my surprise i found titled 'kes on kes'

but it just turned out to be estonian for 'who is who'

all right, last one inside the door is a !

*waits for the others to enter *

Have fun my dear old !

I love books shops, especially the second-hand ones, and I have been known to spend hours browsing my local public library's shelves.

*Stands aside from the door*

After you, chaps! I insist

*Looks longingly at the big blue shiny buttons*

*pushes gwennie through the doorway, waits a few minutes, then hobbles in behind her*

what's this then? looks like some kind of cathedral

what is that doing in front of the altar?





and why are these 42.000 saluting it?




er, gwennie, dearest. if i were you i would get down from that altar asap

are you saying that Gwennie is a

no

in fact it looks like the s are going to sacrifice her

well, 42.001 can play that game!

with all that vodka sloshing around inside her, they could be in for a nasty surprise if they throw her on the fire

roast chicken anyone

don't point that thing in the general direction of gwennie

the high priest of the s might get torched

*roasts a few dozen *

should we have with this, i wonder

Careful with that flame-thrower thingee chaps - I was Miss Setting Light to Farts 1972 and old habits die hard, if you know what I mean.



Now! Tell me where the voddie is stashed, or I'll let one rip!

*all 42.000 s move away from gwennie on the alter at incredible speed, several hundreds are trampled to a sudden death*

now look what a fine mess you have gotten us into, gwennie

...