h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

this would be a(nother) good time to remind the (other) elderly of you with the heartwarmning fact that it is better to get pakinson's disease than alzheimer's

because it is way better to spill half an than to forget where you put it

i've forgotten plenty of things after

unfortunately not always the things i wanted to forget...

The cause and solution for most of life's problems.

I thought that was men.. not

i thought it was mother-in-laws

they are so good at solving problems we wouldn't have without them

Serendipity? I don't remember meeting a Serendipity on my travels.

Senior moments abound! *vacant grin*

It doesn't take much vodka to get me tipsy nowadays. I think it could be a compensatory side effect of growing old and wrinkly, as the older I get, the more my tolerance to decreases . Just think, by the time I'm REALLY old and wrinkly, I'll be down to consuming one bottle of vodka per year.

I my mother-in-law, as she buys me bars of Green & Black's and bottles of vodka as s! (Sympathy payment for putting up with her son, perhaps?)

that is probably it, yeah

i wonder what he should get? a few motorcycles? a holiday retreat of his own?

I think that my better half has all of those already - plus me of course.

sounds - er - balanced?

...which is unusual for us.

Gwennie, given current consumption you would need to live to be 2573 years old to get down to one bottle a year

linus, have you *seen* the size of those bottles?

*Brandishes her *

I could help cut those large bottles down to size.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

They're all mine! Mine, I say!

*ducks from flying schrapnel*

"h2g2: The Wrath Of Gwennie" coming to a cinema near you!

*Hears a noise coming from further down the tunnel they're in. It is not a friendly sort of a noise.*

That sounds like snuffling and oozing and lumping, with a lot of damp leaves dragging, and twigs raking along like broken fingernails behind it. Do you think it's a Kvart? I don't know what a Kvart is. If it is a Kvart should we shoot it, or offer it some vodka?

vodka?

according to hootoo kvarts are very much like three story high - would you want a few dozens of them going on a drunken rampage?

isn't gwennie frightening enough?

it sounds a bit like Kumabear actually... which is almost as scary

*Holds off shooting at the noise in case it turns out to be Kumabear.*

You never know...

*Edges to the back of the group and guards the barfridge.*

*Emerges from the tunnel entrance, where he had just ducked round the corner for his annual nose blowing.*

What noise?