h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll take a look.

You and Wraith well Della?

Math,

Just got the photos from Kaz. Didn't *quite* make me choke on my morning coffee but did supply me with a wonderful early morning .



az

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask "Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".




A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,

"Thou shall not kill."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Della I'm interested. Always am I in you but, no, darling no.... in your wonderful island of New Zealand.

I've only seen pictures..but the place looks beautiful. I've met a kiwi. I stayed in digs with him. He was a champion sheep shagger and was here for a demonstation "shag" at the Highland Show in Edinburgh. Must be 6 years back now.

But I never really got time to ask him much about his country. I note you believe that your home broadcaster is insular and perhaps a little "naf". I too love the BBC "World Service". I can get it on medium wave if I fiddle a bit. But I must get an antenna up and look around for some cheap "short wave" stuff. But it's such a pain and my wife is not keen on the antenna wires. She thinks they are only good for the birds to relieve themselves off of. So would my ever friendly, helpful, neighbours.

Mind you I heard plenty about his son, the sheep shagger's, that is.

Question: Are things expensive in New Zealand. I find stuff in the UK extortionately expensive. It is because it is an island. I would guess that NZ may be the same. I'm pleased that Wraith is well and posting again. And of course would welcome his views on this subject equally.

Hi seargentFlipper

"No Mason would have asked you to go to lodge, or if he had was breaking tradition big time. One of the things is that you have to ask to go to lodge, not the other way around. "

Actually it is a tradition in the UK to carefully select who shall be offered membership. Such potential members are approached and asked nonchalantly how they would react if they offered the opportunity to apply. Attempting to apply when you have not been previoulsy sounded out is a quick way to get black-balled.

"Yes there is much rite and ritual that goes with Masonry, as a druid you should be familiar with ritual."

Indeed I am familiar with ritual as an expression of our link to the land and in celebration of an event or the season. However, our rituals do not bind us to secrecy, nor invite dire retribution (including blinding and mutilation) should we ever break out oaths .

An example of my suspicions: In Wrexham, in North Wales, there is one lodge that consists entirely of planning officials, certain councillors, local builders and developers. Strangely many Council contracts that are put out to independant tender seems to end up back with lodge members (87% at the last count).

Another is full of policemen, magistrates, solicitors, barristers and court officials. And if that is not a bit worrying I don't know what is.

I do not doubt that you could bring forward all sorts of examples of the good works of various mason lodges. My original statement stands though I think.

Blessings,
Matholwch /|\.

Yes, Malt your account is true. Gives me the big time "willies".

What do you call a pig with a beak?


Two Person Lodge Meeting
Would someone please stop giving Oetzi the big time willies as it throws his clothes all out of whack and he cn't acheive a decent profile Thank You (not to mention his m.w reception

If you have trouble sleeping try Late Junction on radio3, you can get it on the bbc website thing. I cant say for certain if the interesting and varied stuff they play on there is very soothing as I am normally cream crackered by the time it comes on anyway

Well... I know I haven't given him any big willies, and I don't plan to.



Tell you want, pdante, I think we'll leave it at that.

- Jordan

That's alright by me
pde'

You know what folks you're right. My daily habit is an XXXL overall.
Because of my past "issue" with Federation Pils the "pop" fasteners have been replaced with velcro.

Headgear is generally a "ski" cap. Altogether the neighbours are not happy because I just fit into the "woolyback" bracket. The local red-necks are ambivalent but many have recently been "gentrified".

I'm not gifted socially. Pointless being something you are not.

Sounds as if lodge in the UK is a bit different than it is in the US. Around here they seem to be a bit more variegated in their membership, not homogenous groups you are describing. That would be a little willy giving. The groups here are well, mostly harmless.

That's what they want you to think

Federation Pils?

My general attire is... well, no one knows, because I wear whatever is closest at hand.

Yesterday I wore a pair of loose jogging trousers and a huge green tent, misnamed as a 'tee-shirt'. (I got it from a friend's dad, who's son was no longer wearing it. His sons are a lot larger than me. Lots of my clothes come from charitable families, and I don't complain even if they don't quite fit...) Both are now splattered with paint. My trainers are completely split at the bottom and have been for months, and my socks had been sewed up three times so far. I covered it all up with a grey jumper with a big collar that you fold over, which kept my neck warm, even though it has holes all over. My hair matched, since it has been growing for the past three months and naturally falls into a 'young Einstein' meta-frizz afro - I never did get the hang of using gel, and my hair follows a cycle of sprout-purge-sprout again... (It grows to a terrifying length before I cut off as much as possible.)

In short, not what you'd call a fashion maniac. I looked a bit of a tramp, to be honest. But I do carry off the absent-minded professor look quite well, if not too smartly.

Your XXXL overall probably wouldn't look too out of the ordinary on me!

- Jordan

Yeah well Im past the male menopause now. Suppose if I lived in the city I would make an effort, but then I go most places like this and the upshot is I get trade prices.

"Art for Art's sake money for God's sake."

I don't have a religion I believe in spiritual truth

nice jokes I liked em

Hi, Jordan. I wear a number of donations too, including a leather jacket that even fits me quite easily, so must have been huge on the original owner who is 50 but radically fit. He runs every marathon going and keeps fit in the meantime by hill walking!

I get some stuff from charity shops, and almost as cheap is Lidl. All my footwear is from there, including an excellent pair of leather hiking boots that were only about £12 and appear to be about to last for ever. I did stick plenty of leather treatment gunge on them when new. I have two pairs of insoles in them: one cushioned one including activated charcoal, then perforated leather ones on top of those. Always buy the shoes on the large side and add insoles if needed or preferred.

A very off topic, toxx.