h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*ponders whether to mention that the cutting down of any tree in the forest would result in instant exile for the offender, but decides not to*

* wonders if the tea is Earl Grey or Assam *

*looks innocent*

Pours tea. Pours milk. Spills milk accidently all over the king.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops

*blows a cold blast of air onto the king to get rid of the milk.*

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooory

*Offers tea to Ottox, and in a conciliatory tone asks king "Wooooooooooould yoooooooooooooou like sooooooooooooome?"

Btw, it's neither; it's blood and bone

Yeeeess....apology accepted...

But no thank you, I'm a hot chocolate being myself...

B&B! My favourite!!!

Tell me again... please... What.. was.. that.. tea...?

very helpfully makes hot chocolate.

"Juuuuuuuuuuuust dooooooooooooooon't teeeeeeeeeeeell aaaaaaaaaanyooooooooone, theeeeeeeeeeeey wooooooooon't beeeeeeeeee scaaaaaaaared ooooooooof meeeeeeee"

She peers curiously at Ottox.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaan oooooooooooooooooold deeeeeeeeeeeead faaaaaaaaaaaamily recipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Ottox! hee, you're sooooo funny

Eh...?

The ghost forms insubstantial words in the air (since these are easier to understand than her actual TALKING.

"It's made of blood and bones. Good, isn't it?

By the way, have you ever thought of becoming a ghost?"

The words disappear again, once read.

That tea is a step on the way...

*brews some more*

Why thank you!

It will very soon make me unconscious!
(As I have to go to bed Goodmorning! )

Aw, then good afternoon, Ottox

*wandering around, carrying a candle for ambience. trips over a loose cobblestone and falls. continues to fall (she has stumbled upon the top of a staircase). finally stops falling near the bottom. the candle has gone out. fishes around in the pocket of her princess gown (must have pockets! lost without pockets!!) for a bic. finds bic, strikes flame and relights candle.*

*holds candle up to walls. sees strange blackish red markings on the walls. she's in a hallway, follows hallway til she comes to door. gingerly knocks on door*

*hears faint noise muffled by closed door. being the adventurous sort, she pushes door. surprisingly the door swings open easily, but is accompanied by a hideous 'fingernails on blackboard' sound effect. covers ears until door is full open. when she removes her hands from her ears (somehow managing not to singe hair on burning candle) she discovers that the muffled noise is in fact faint screams.*

*steps through door. sees no one, but somehow the door is slammed shut the minute she is clear of it. she jumps and drops candle at the KLANG of slamming door. naturally the candle has gone out again. unfortunately she also dropped her bic, as she forgot to put it back in the pocket of her gown.*

*her eyes gradually adjust to the darkness while she is on her hands and knees feeling around for the lighter and candlestick. notices the darkness has a sickly green aura about it. she can faintly see the green 'light' (if that's what you want to call it) reflecting off the white candlestick. still can't find the bic*

The fearsome Phantom steals the bic, and then slides up all but noiselessly behind the princess.

A cold draft blows on the princess as she searches for her lighter, and maniacal laughter can be heard -- surprisingly close, it seems.

(A silhouette scuttles past at the far end of the corridor)

Oh look, an intruder...I wonder if they would like to join?

...join?...

(pops his head back round the corner and looks slightly nervous)

...I take it joining is better than being classed as an intruder?

Well, I hope that there are some who would think so... We're a friendly bunch here, so long as you follow the guidelines in the introduction...all you need do is pick a title, and if you are approved (after a very thorough background check ) then you shan't have to sneak around any longer...unless, of course, you wish to...