h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*princess broelan dashes up the dungeon stairs, through the castle, and on until she comes across the first vending machine she can find. digs around in her skirts for a few quarters and gets a pepsi.*

*continuing up the road she comes across the local wal*mart where she stops in and purchases an adjustable beam flashlight with some extra batteries, and some new slippers.*

*trying to think of anything else she is forgetting she decides she is prepared to return. she puts on the new slippers, puts batteries in the flashlight, gets rid of the candle, and hails a cab to take her back to the kingdom, where she has it drop her off at the castle. leaving the cab she meanders through the castle trying to find the stairs to the dungeon again, but they're not where she left them.*

i'm sure i came down this corridor...... i thought it was riiiiiiight here, but...

*tries to remember the way she came when she first found the dungeon, gets completely turned around in labrynthine castle. finally, dejected she gives up and decides to return to her chambers .*

*plodding down the corridor to her room she notices a door off to her left that she didn't ever remember seeing before. she writes it off to the fact that she's never actually been to her chambers before either, but decides to investigate. approaching door, she reaches out for handle, which is ice cold when she touches it. she tries to let go but the door swings open suddenly with a stereotypical creak, pulling her inside as it does. when the door is fully open and she is all the way inside, the door releases her; at which point she realizes the door opens onto a set of stairs (going down, of course).*

*unprepared for the stairs, the princess falls when the door releases her, and she tumbles down the stairs as the door slams shut with a ::bang:: above her. as she falls, of course, she drops her flashlight, which opens and the batteries fall out. it clatters to the bottom ahead of her, whereupon she comes to rest on top of it in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.*

mmmmmmmmph

*raising her head slightly and peeping one eye open a bit, she sees that she has, indeed, found the dungeon again.*

well it's a darn good thing i didn't land on ottox; i might've woken him up

*closes eye, drops head, passes out*

was busy ing all the time the princess was gone....

But brightens when she returns, and even, as a friendly gesture, steals her batteries, and puts a down her back.

[Still reeling from the shock of the spider]

[lurks a little, for good measure]

*stirs, wakes up. opens her eyes and sees nothing. blinks, still sees nothing. remembers nothing. but is hearing a faint 'scrritch scrritch' from somewhere off to her left.*

can someone turn on the lights? where am i?

*puts a concealing mould over the light switch. Camoflague! *



*leaves a dead by the Princess*

~hanging by chains from the wall~

~sings drearly~
Fair well the world,
You in the world fairwell,
For crimes unknown I rot in this dungeon cell

*sniffle* How sweet...

Ghost hoard---->

oh! how sweet! a dead

*feels around on the floor near her, finds flashlight in pieces. fumbles to put flashlight back together, can't find batteries.*
~sniffles~

There over there

~points while hanging upside-down in the dark~

Gotta get a new hiding place

steals the batteries before the princess can find them again, and ingeniously hides them up Broelan's sleeve.

*chases the hoard away.*

Ghost Hoard runs-->

(Bowled over by passing ghostb hoard)

(lands on a flashlight bulb, crushing it)

thanks?
drat.
well, at least i have my (dead)

*mutters something rude about squatters*

there goes the last ghost That will teach it

Well not the LAST I hope!

*squints up at figure shackled to the wall, hard to see in the dark.*

how did he throw the and the while chained to the wall?
phantom? could we have a little less dark in here? (notice i didn't ask for more light, just less dark )

*gets up, walks toward the wall, trips over sir ottox, who has been sleeping down here for weeks*

ooomph. i'm gradually learning to hate this floor.

*something fuzzy brushes against her hand*

aaaaiiiigggghhhhh! *hopefully waking ottox up, as i've just screamed (unintentionally) in his ear*

How did I throw the and ?

Easy, the shackles are broken, but I can't get out of here till rescued. Says in the contract.

The hard bit is getting back in the shackes upside-down. Now thats quite hard

Just for the princess, the lets a little darkness out into a side-passage.

And leaves another dead for her.