h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Could we rent it for a little while?

Well, sure, but not the people, man, not the people!!! No hostages are to be taken! You can tell the gov't that you've got hostages, if it'll make you really happy about yourselves, but the first what draws any kind of weapon against any patron of the CP, other than those in this room, is going to get an anti-aircraft shell up 'is !!! That's not fun, in case you hadn't heard.
As long as there's no hostage-taking, I've no problem with a bunch of psychotic rebels hanging about and plotting, in fact that pretty much describes about 90 percent of our clientele.

Well if we pay for a few rounds of drinks, do you think they'll stay while we convince everyone that they're being held hostage

Hmmmm... I suppose that would depend on how you intend to 'convince' them that they're being held hostage... although, knowing our usual bunch, it probably wouldn't matter -- most of 'em 'd hold /themselves/ hostage for a or a .

Thras: *struggles until he hets his mouth free* GIMMIE PICKLES AND NO ONE GETS HURT!

Jade: ...he's very serious about his pickles...

Thras: I ONLY FIGHT FOR 3.14 PICKLES!

Jade: *rolls eyes skyward* Valhalla... I am coming...

*Waits for others to say something*

*nudges the large jar of pickles that's sitting on the table in front of Jade a bit closer, in case it hadn't been noticed, and materializes a and a cigarette*


=======~~~

Thras: Pickles... *looks at Thog* Are they... kosher...?

Jade: WHY ME? WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE THE PSYCHO DAEMON???

*looks at Thras*
Should they be kosher?
*holds eye contact*

Jade, /all/ daemons are psycho -- 's part of why they're so effective in combat... although they DO have a tendency to get confused between friends and foe.
I must say though, this one is rather peculiar *scratches Thras under chin*

Thras: Pickle! *bites Thog's finger hard, draws blood*

Jade: *grabs Thras by the neck and pull him back* Sorry 'bout that, 'c only a fleshwound tho.

Don' worry about it -- I have tasty blood.

Thras: *licking blood from white dragon maw with pink snakelike tongue* This isn't pickle... I want pickles...

Jade: Don't mind him, he's imbued with the power of my Id right now...

Understandable... that happened to me one time while I was still in the habit of possessing daemons... took me WEEKS to scrape all the Id off me!
Listen -- I dunno if the pickles are kosher or not, so I'd say just tell 'im whatever it takes to get 'im to eat one

Thras: They are poisoned pickles.

Jade: Lle tela?

Thras: Mani ume lle quena?

Jade: Lle tela?

Thras: Mankoi lle irma sint?

Jade: Beause.

Thras: Then no.

Jade: All right then. So why should he eat one of those then?

Hey, I'm just in tryin to help here. They aren't poisoned, , I ate one myself not half an hour ago in the pub, and I'm fine. Just because you have a paranoid daemon doesn't give you cause to look at me like that.

Thras: Are they kosher tho>

Jade: They are.

Thras: Yay! *jumps into the jar*

Jade: Ed' i'ear ar' elenea!

Well. I'm glad we came to that understanding.


*rises from his seat and addresses everyone in the room*
Okay, now listen, people, I have other business to attend to, so I'm going to leave now. If you've taken the CP hostage when I return, I will not be held responsible for the disposal of your mangled bodies. That said, I hope we can come to an amenable agreement here.

*vanishes with a WHOP*

*Back from the other thread*
Hey, wow. This sounds like it could be interesting.

Don't worry we won't be the mangeled ones.

* experimentally flicks a small fireball at the ceiling, then has to suck his finger because it got slightly burnt *

This is really not a good design.

* moves on to Chapter Nine: 'Public Address System' *