h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, no. That won't work. The bomb wouldn't just have an easy access switch. I'm , but you've been pinned. Anyways, these things don't have much more than fully automatic rifles on each arm. And we don't have self-repairing vehicles. You've got to take some hits, and allow for there to be a challenge. If the opponents don't have a chance, it gets very old, very fast. I'm sure they'll agree.

Just take it down a few notches, and wait for the Terranic demolition teams to show up. You're not going to die today, but the anarchists aren't either.

Mystrunner : How about the place I suggested?

*Craxus wakes up from being stunned by the gernade. He looks up and notices Verc.*

Whoa thanks man, I would have been a goner. I have an idea

*Craxus moves slowly but gets up enough to stand up, he walks up to Isard. Looks down at him and laughs. Craxus then sees the shining thing on Isard's belt (projectile shield) Craxus picks it out of his belt and puts it on himself.*

There we go thanks.

*Craxus 's again and runs back over toward Verc.*

* MaW dives back to the floor to avoid the plasma fire and crawls rapidly out of the room into the main part of the pub *

*Isard sits there, bomb on his chest, fuming*

*strolls out from the front door of the pub, calmly stepping over the scattered and charred bodies laying about and smashing his fist into a few faces that get in his way, and makes his way to the massive limo that's been shooting a lot and woke him up from his nap.*

ing limos!

*grabs the limo by the rear bumper, traces an arcane symbol on its undercarriage, and lets it back down. Thog steps back three paces back, raises his right hand, and incants: . The limo shimmers, becoming hazy and somewhat transparent, and vanishes. In its place stands a small rubber duck.*

Sorry, people, but this is getting out of hand. My billiards room is almost entirely trashed *ducks a chunk of flaming shrapnel*, and you've put holes in numerous places in my pub. Either quiet the down or there's gonna be a load of rubber duckies around here

*Isard's eyes flicker up into his skull, he is concentrating on using his nano-transmitter, first he orders his car into the air, doors locked, transmitter shut down (no hacking that way), then he focuses on the projectile shield belt, activates its battery and shuts off the the capacitors' safety shut off switches, and drains all the electricity into the capacitors, which over load, blowing the shield up, rendering it totaly useless*

*Isard's eyes flicker back down to where they normally would be, he sees the debris from his generator on the ground next to Craxus. Isard grins*

my limo does NOT get messed with! It changes back and leaps into the air. It leaves behind it a dofful bag full of money with a note on it that reads "sorry for all the inconvenience, but this will more than make up for the damages, have nice day."

*Craxus walks over to Thog.*

Well, I guess you get to use those body bags you wanted to.

*Craxus points to the Terranic soldiers lieing on the ground.*

Well, this should cover your costs for the place for a while.

*Craxus hands Thog a check with a nice sum of money on it.*

Sorry about the noise level.

*picks up the bag of money, inspects it carefully, removes the small explosive hidden inside, and swallows it. Removing his mod-whomin stick from it's loop on his loincloth, walks over to HDS, an smacks him soundly on the head with it*

And my billiards room and pub do NOT get messed with, ya I appreciate the money, but you have to consider that not all damages can be remedied with cash. Knock this off at once. The crazy ers in the billiards room are here on a valid lease, and you have no ing jurisdication here. I don't personally give a about them, but I will NOT see you up my ing pub!

*accepts the check from Craxus without breaking eye contact with HDS*

Thanks, Crax.

there were no explosive in the bag, you just swallowed a roll of quarters.

Sorry about this whole mix up Thog, my friends and I *points to Jade, Verc, Euan, MaW, and the S.P.A.R.T.N. armored person.* wish to appoligize for the mess we were just defending ourselves, but we would still like to be accepted into your pub.

*There is a barely audibel FOOMP, and a small trail of smoke comes out Thog's right ear*

Hmmm... awfully feisty quarters... Regardless, do you understand what I'm saying? The devastation here is beyond being monetarily recompensable. I want you s and all your automatic and whoop-de-do weapons the out of here. You're welcome to come in for a if you like, but this entire establishment is hereby a strict neutral zone.

*Craxus whispers to Thog.*

Hey do you have any binding material so we can bind this HDS guy and take him with us out of your hair???

ing simulposts

Craxus, you crazy ers are fine, I don't have a problem with you, but it, the neutral zone applies to you psychos just like it applies to those psychos *points to HDS and the charred piles of flesh around him*... Well, I guess those guys are already pretty neutral...


...But you know what the I mean!

I would, but it'd everybody off, as the rules of all this don't exactly apply to me.

I get what you mea,n your possition is entirely understandable.

But now I will make my position, hopefully, understandable. I was ordered to do this. I was told to come here, and rough them up, to take them out if need be. Jurisdiction or no, that's what they told me to do, that's what I tried to do, and were it not for interference from the very same peopl who ordered me to do my job, then it could have been ended earlier, with far fewer explosions. I had always intended to pay off the physical damage, and offer checks to any needed to pay psychologists afterwards. And now, here I sit, taking a severe beating on the head, having to blow up my favorite shield generator before it could be used against me, with a big bomb on my chest, waiting for a bomb squad that will, I have no doubts, take three weeks to come.

And as for the quarters, I like 'em fiesty!

Yes, well, feisty quarters /are/ more entertaining.
And look, ya weenie, I only hit you once, it's not like I kept whompin ya. Jeez, if you can't take a sound whomp to the head every now and then, you should find a different line of work.
Either way, I see what you're saying, but I'm afraid that you'll have to return to your superiors and tell them that it just won't work. Since this is now a neutral zone, not even you government s can fire weapons in it without breaking most of your wartime protocol conventions.