h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*There is a click at the back door, and a shiney greenish-yellow suit of armour walks in (Think Halo, those who know it.), raises both arms, and begins to spray automatic gunfire over the room, deliberatly missing the anarchists. This is one of the prototype S.P.A.R.T.A.N. mechanized armours, being piloted by Daedalus itself. A speaker on the front crackles to life.*

This place is hot with soldiers! We have to get out!

*Craxus uncouncious now, is lieing on the ground a little bloody but still out cold.*

*The suit strides across the room, flinging billiard tables out of the way like folding chairs. It bears down on Craxus and Isard, and raises one arm to deal a steel-mangling blow.*

For those of you who don't know, these suits aren't at all fast, but can tear apart a tank with their bare hands.

I really don't like this droid

*Isard gives the S.P.A.R.T.A.N. a really evil smile, presses the muzzel of his flack cannon against Craxus's cheek and fires. This done, Isard leaps away from the suit and fires a round at its leg hydrolics*

*Isard's sheild has finished cooling down and is safe to activate, he does so.*

[Hilbryk] Aww screw this...

*He pulls out a M203 grenade that is bright red and labled WARNInG DO NOT USE IN SMALLISH ROOMS! POSSIBILITY OF DEATH and as he runs from the room he fires it in, he is runnig really fast as it explodes, bigly*

My only one, damn

*Isard see's RMF running from the room, then he sees a small plume of smoke flash past his chest, then he feels a big heat, and what feels like the hand of Horus hitting him in the side. Isard flies into the far wall, slumps down, unconsouis, his flack cannon laying broken in two beside him.*

*within the few seconds this happens, Verc hits the guard watching him in the stomach which should have him reeling for about a minute or so, and heroically runs across the room dodging the inevitable hail of bullets which would follow his attempted escape, and doing a summersault manouever which involves grabbing hold of Craxus's near death body and rolling off around the corner of the room to get behind a table which is near a door of escape, so given the instance of a bomb blast both may be blown out of the window.*

*The tension is broken in the billiard room as Pan (born again tart) crashes through the window, landing on a billiard table below her, exposing a tattered thermal long-johns and a huge grin*

I say! Do excuse me a moment please chaps!

*Gwennie sticks her head round the door from the bar next door, wanders through, helps Pan to her feet and escorts a still dazed and confused Pan back to the bar*

C'mon Pan...these chaps are playing far too rough for us and I have some nice fresh brewed up next door...

*dazed from the explosion, acknowledges the new comer with a thumbs up *

Are any of the pumps still working at the bar?

* MaW just starts to regain consciousness as the grenade explodes, and finds himself flung across the room, to smash heavily into a wall, cracking the plaster before falling to the floor. He climbs to his knees, shakes his head a few times and then sneaks a look at the rest of the room through the slowly clearing smoke *

[MaW] This is not going according to plan. Anyone else alive in here?

Craxus, the old plan, where you run me when I'm not around - time zone problem, you remember...

Pants!

*The debris moves and Euan rises out like, well, a battered and bloody thing*

I'm here, MaW.

*Glances over to Isard*

I see our friend copped most of the blast. Now, we could just kill him out of hand, or alternatively...

Going for non-lethal(ish)

*Pulls out a small metallic box, which he places on Isard's chest. He then pulls out a piece of paper, which he places on the box. Finally he flicks a switch on the box and smiles*

OK. Let's grab our collegues and then I'd suggest running. I've been wanting to use that for a long time

It's a mine, with a mercury motion-switch in it. Good old-fashioned low-tech, so it's EMP immune and so on. The note merely states this and says that if he moves he's dead.

Now can we go, please?

*Sticks her head round the battered door and nails a message to its remains, which reads*

"The pumps are still working. Feel free to join us to socialise and indulge in but fisticuffs aren't allowed and all lethal weapons or otherwise must be left in here, underneath the billiard tables."

*Isard comes around*

Mercury switch or something?

*Suddenly, about 50 blue plasma bolts smash through the wall and fly at Euan and MaW, who are standing up. Outside, the imposing form of Isard's limo is seen, firing round after round into the room from its Pheonix plasma cannons*

A couple things. One cannon could not fire that many rounds without overheating and melting the entire vehicle. Second, firing a flak cannon into someone when you are about half a foot away from the mouth of the barrel means that you get turned into swiss cheese also.
Try to keep it realistic, please?

my armor is now, officially trashed.

*The SPARTAN suit swings around, and calmly tears a hole in the wall, which it walks out of, firing at the heat sinks of the cannon.*

[Speaker] Get out of here. I'll have you covered. Find someplace with a lot of shielding!

Make a thread to meet at. This thread is not to be seen by any lurkers, you hear?

*The intel officers, who had been playing dead until now, leap at the back of the suit.*

[Officer #3] You're under arrest for being a malicious computer program!

*He latches onto an arm, which does not visibly affect the suit.*

[Officer #2] *Wrapped around a leg* Jeeze, ziz thing's strong, yes?

*Isard very carefully, very slowly, slides his hand up the side of the box, being sure that his chest does not move, so as not to excite the mercury switch. after a minute or so, Isard manages to flick the switch, he leaps up, chucks the bomb at Euan, shoots it mid air, and runs out of the room and to his car.*

*Isard dives into his car's open door, closing it behind. The display on his HUD says that his port plasma cannon has melted, Isard presses a blinking green button thus releasing a small droid to fix it. Isard shucks his melted and hole ridden armor, puts on his S.P.A.R.T.A.N. suit, customized to look loke Tallgeese II, exits the car, and re-enters the building.*

*Isard, in his shiny white and blue suit raises, an arm and points it at the other suit's chest, Isard fires a heavy anti-tank rocket at its chest plate*