h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

happy saint paddy's

Just this once then, I'll have Liffey water instead of beer ... Cheers, Pierce ...Cheers everyone!

*The Pub doors open and she hobbles in, wooly cardigan wrapped around her shoulders and heavy knit stockings drooping around her ankles a bit. She slams the door and peers around the interior of the Pub...*

I see. You're all still here, then? Who's been sitting in my rocker? Pierce, what is that in your hand? A pint with a four leaf clover in it? Well, honey, it is your lucky day because I am back and you can buy me a nice large

*strolls in from the billiards room holding a large sack and a few scraps of paper.*

'Ello, everyone! Saint Paddy's day, is it? Hmmmm.... well, here's some green all around!

*pulls a fistful of cash from the bag and throws it into the air, then proceeds into the back room, where much cursing and a few random blasts from a nailgun can be heard as he tries to remember the combination on the safe*

*smokes green leaves for St.Patrick's*

===~~~

The only green thing not suitable for the day is ...

It's a full moon too

Oh dear! Somebody should really *do something* about it!

*Walks out of the billards room, smoking slightly.*

Can I have a glass of water? And some burn creme?

*pours a bucket of wine over Myst*

Er, don't you think it's impolite to ask for water?

*The water hisses off him, steaming.*

Ahhh...

Thank you. The billard's room is safe again...

And what happened to the wine?

...*exits the loo with hair dripping wet......glares at Gewnnie...throws a hand up at mari & Kes...*Who'll buy me a green bourbon to keep me from telling mari who's been sitting in her rocker?Alcutally, since she was off her rocker does it even matter? ...*is pelted with ale mugs...*You guys don't toss your mugs around at Kes! And HE'S The Pun Matster.
...*sees Pierce sharpen his hook...*Yep, Kes is right behind The King of Pub Puns...*bats her lashes at...rushes into billards room for the sharin' O' the green with Thog...* ====~~~ ~smooth
A Toast! May your thatch never fall into your house and may your friends never leave!

I could just murder some toast.

Violence!

With Marmite.

*a massive FWOOOOMP is heard from the back room. Thog emerges a moment later, looking slightly toasted and missing a little more of the ol' loincloth*

in safes... I taught IT a thing or in two... heh heh heh

Hey, what's this about sharing green in the billiards room? , I hope I didn't miss it!

Caerwynn, didn't you mention something about fancying some toast (with Marmite)?

*Inspects the blackened and toasted Thog before smearing him with a large helping of Marmite, carefully avoiding the gaps in his tattered loincloth*

I know it stings Thog, dearie but Gwennie knows best, trust me..

*Completes her task, leaving a stinging and smouldering Thog to be murdered by Caerwynn before making her way to Mari's rocking chair and elbowing Kes aside*

Mari you old ! How the are you? Don't mind Pan, she's still recovering from taking a cold shower alone!

I'm fine dearie. A bit thirsty, though. When did we get a billiard room installed? I didn't know that billiards involved flame throwers and nailguns. I never mind Pan, you know....

*Hands Pandora a towel and a ...*

*Gets a from the bar and sits down in her rocking chair by the fireplace and picks up her knitting.*

Thog, you are looking a little singed. I'll knit you a new loincloth if you tell me what sort you'd like.