h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, it says Metal Detector. The again, it also says Magic Wand, but that would be less useful. How does it work - and welcome back, Kiddo - missed ya!

I could manage it, ive seen people use them where im from

OK, Lintilla - you wanted a job - you got a job. Kiddo - grab some driftwood. Whenever Lintilla detects something, mark it out with the wood. The we'll see how many, or how big a thing we've got.

* Anyway, that was one of nine lives, gone, now...

* Lintilla... pyrotechnics??? Dangerous! For one so young, such a dangerous hobby...

Butr kes its otta batteries!

* That's so right! Manners!

Oh, hi Kiddo!!!

Should I go on digging?

... and Peaceful, my dearest Queen of Spades, guess what ...
Peaceful!
*She has collapsed (as indicated in previous simulposts). She is turning an interesting colour*
Peaceful!
*Another image - a fresh one! A chorus ... "Lilac wine, so sweet, and so heavy" ...
*There's no makeup on those lips now - lilac is the wrong colour.*
Hey - what do I do?

im very good peaceful so its safe.

*examines the detecor in a way far beyond her years*

* Trying to pull herself together -- all her eight lives, at least...

No, Kes, really -- I want to help!!!

*... But a better Universe slides into place - Kes had imagined it - Peaceful is well, and directing operations*

Damn! Just warming up for a mouth-to-mouth session. Curses! Foiled again!

Batteries, Lintilla? It needs batteries? Bloody hell!
*He checks a second tag: "Batteries not included"*
Let me think about this for a minute.

* Wow!!!! *

* Deeply ponders on the matter of energy... detectors must somehow...

But how about this "ON" button?

is peaceful okay?!

*Kes checks everything available - at the camp, and in his pockets*
Got it! Check this out! We have:
- one empty ration tin (steel plate)
- one golden spoon (good job I kept it)
- some audio cable - that i pulled out at the cave mouth
- lots of sea water

You see! We can do it! Yippee!
*They stare at him*

* which is useless, without batteries

* where can they find an energy source???

* PE looks ok, she feels ok... but another universe seems to be making gibberish of all her very wise observations...

* Now, only seven of her lives seem to remain...

Look - a battery! Two dissimilar metals - steel and gold - an electrolyte - sea water.
Dip the spoon into the tin of sea water - don't let it touch the bottom. Connect one wire to the tin- hold the other one against the spoon - now - touch the two wires against your tongue, Kiddo - go on.
*Kiddo touches - jumps back and blinks*
Not much - only about two volts - but this thing runs on a torch battery.
It'll be messy - Kiddo - you carry the can (ha ha) - follow Lintilla with the detector.
Let's go!

* Now THAT is one resourceful stamp collector for you...

*sweeps up and down the beach lugging the large instrument*

* PE decides to look on, keep quiet, and see if the simulpost attacks stop after a while...