h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

GB looks wonderingly at Kes
Thinks: for someone so young, he is very wise. He must have lived many times before...Inherent memory, yes, that's it. I bet he would even be able to understand the Crab, now.
GB smiles at the thought of the Crab, how wonderful his poetry made her feel, he really was captivating...
She looks at the sand being sifted between her toes, watches Kes's broad shoulders as he's digging and was surprised at the thought
"Peaceful is a lucky woman" which went through her mind.
Her face expressionless, GB jumps to her feet, shouts "No!" {causing Kes to almost jump with fright}....
Er, sorry, Kes! I mean, I'm just going to gather some Kes's for breakfast, er, um, I mean berries {but not the poison ones!}...be right back!
*flutter of wings

*Still digging - systematically*

Hey - GB - another thing. The question I tried to ask yesterday - when I fell over my tongue, as usual - I was right, wasn't I? It's different - different motives make it different - and you can tell. Isn't that odd?
Well, I suppose not for you - you've known that for ages. Am I really so slow?

* dig, dig, ... dig, slowing down a bit*

What gets me is my reaction. Are all people like that? Or just men? Or just the kids? Never mind.

*dig, dig*

Well - look at my choices. There's one that's fantastic fun and no strings - no long-term commitment; there's the other - definitely after something (other than the obvious), problems by the bucket full, ... and guess which one I've fallen for?
*dig, ... rest on shovel*

You tell me if I've got it right or

*dig, CLUNK*

*GB flies back with her arms full of berries and bananas.
Sorry, Kes, that I flew off like that, I was just.....hungry.
*wonders why Kes didn't seem to notice she had gone, then realizes they had another simulpost.
*sighs
*looks into the hole Kes has been digging
Did I hear a loud "CLUNK?"
I wonder what it could be....?

Yes - we've hit something. Oh - breakfast - and healthy for a change. Am I allowed to have some - not breaking any rules here are we?
*Sits next to her*
Oh - sorry - I'm all hot and sweaty. I'll take a swim when I'm done.
Mmm. That's a good selection of tastes.
Well, if you want to come and take a look ...
*He extends a helping hand, then realises GB has wings*
*He laughs - at himself*
Ha. How's that for unobservant? You don't see what's right in front of you - or in your case - on your back. Fly to the dig - I'll find out what we've got in there.

*takes the proffered hand anyway
The close proximity of the "hot and sweaty" Kes made GB's wings quiver...
*they walk hand in hand to the dig, peeling bananas as they go, and Kes's banana breaks in half and drops to the sand.
The look on his face is priceless, and GB starts to giggle.
She pulls off a piece of her own banana, and places it to Kes's mouth.
Kes looks into the eyes of the beautiful Angel, opens his mouth and realizes it is still attached to GB's fingers.
*GB starts to laugh, as Kes mumbles "Sorry"...
*they reach the dig
GB and Kes stand looking down at the large lid of, something...

Looks promising. I'll dig round the sides so that sand doesn't flow in when we open the lid.

*Digs xN*

Ah - didn't think of that - a padlock.
*Takes a swipe at it with the spade. The lock swings in its socket - the spade is much too big to hit the target*

GB - be an angel (*giggle*) bend the rules - save me a walk - bring me the golden spoon - please, pretty?

*A thought while she's gone - That was fun - so that's a "flirtation" - and that's the difference. Aha - another thing learnt ... and it's fun too*

Thinks: Better for Kes to be flirting with me...than anyone else... mentioning no names {ddgb! everyone in the audience is thinking}...
*GB returns with the golden spoon and hands it to Kes

Thanks.
Return Thinks: THAT wasn't flirting. That was a contact sport. I know the diff, now!

OK.
*Wedges the spoon in the hasp of the padlock, raises the shovel, and .... WHACK!*
Yes - concentrate the force on a small area and Bingo!
*Pulls the broken lock away, pockets the precious, but bent spoon, and makes to lift the lid*
Hey - GB - you dropped the hints - would you like to do the honours?

*wonders what honour Kes is offering...
*turns to look at the sleeping Lintilla and Peaceful...
*looks at Kes looking up at her...
Is reminded of a scene in "Friends" and starts to laugh again, softly.
Kes looks confused.
GB? Would you like to lift the lid, and see what's inside?
GB is thinking: Contact sport?
*jumps into the hole with Kes....

*Kes has a laughing fit too.*
Right - stop sliding around in here - this will look ridiculous if that lot wake up and see us.
*Another good laugh*
Come on - you take that side - both lift together -
*Silence for several seconds*
GB - are you seeing what I see - like all this - genuine pirate treasure?
Come on - this has to be a joke - it must be fake - there's so much. Good grief. This will bring them all swarming round.

*A thought - a decision*
Hey - did you actually want this - all of it, some of it?
Shouldn't we return it to its owner?

*GB looks deep into Kes's eyes and smiles
Thinks:I'm glad he's having such a good time. He deserves it. No doubt about who's the star of Survivor for me....
*Kes's eyes are shining as he is looking from her back to the Pirate's Treasure.
"Whoever this belonged to, Kes, is long dead. You found it, it's all yours. Share it with whomever you want to....but, before you wake the others, I have a question for you, something that has always puzzled me...."

OK ask. A straight question gets a straight answer.
*Gulp!*

OK.....
Here goes.....
Kes, what is the difference between putting a community on-line and creating an on-line community?

ROFL!ROFL!
*Gets sand in trousers due to ROFLing on a beach*
I'll tell you in the helo. on the way off the island - it's a four-hour flight - we'll need the time.

*Gets back into character with great effort*

OK - treasure for anyone - treasure for all. You take whatever you want - which I suspect is nothing.
About the same for me too - maybe a souvenir. Ha!
*Extracts two matching gold rings. One fits on third finger, the other on little finger (for now)*

Well, you never know your luck, do you?.
The rest stays her for the rest - but we'll not make it too easy.
OK - three bearings needed (takes out compass)
Due N to that single tall palm tree.
NE to where the reef meets the beach over there ... one more ..
a bit S of W - to the cape.

Remember that?
Now you and I know where it is ...

*Picks up shovel, fills in hole, runs all over top, and further afield, to eliminate signs of digging*
Done. A pleasure working with you, Ma'am. May I escort you back to the cave for a shell of water?
*Winks, escorts GB to the cave*
I'd appreciate it if you could keep an eye on Peaceful and the others 'til they wake up. I really must have a rest.
See you soon.
*Curls up on the cave floor, and goes to sleep*

Thinks: I am sure Peaceful would mind you talking to me for four hours on the flight home...
Watches Kes as he falls instantly asleep, exhausted but happy.
Into her mind, a snatched memory, evoked by Kes's chosing of the matching gold rings;
"And what of Marriage, Master?
And he answered saying:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each others cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping....
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts....
And stand together yet not too near:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
*GB watches Kes as he sleeps......

* M.K wanders into the romantic secret beach area. He sees the small party asleep & wonders why Kes & G.B are separated from the others... *

* He then sees a lot of sand disturbed on the beach, and then walks away for he has other things on his mind... *

GB looks out of the cave, spots M.K*, looks back at the sleeping Kes, flies out of the cave & lands beside M.K*.
Wait! Matthew! I wasn't doing anything in there, honest! I was just... well... trying to keep Kes away from, you know... ddgb!
*Matthew looks uncomfortable
Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, where are you going now?
Can I come with you? Did ddgb go to EV's yacht? Sand? What sand?
*tries to look innocent, but fails miserably....

* Meanwhile, PE is dreaming away... She thinks she hears an angel sing! Treasure! A treasure in her dream!!! And beauty and poetry and laughing... and...

* what was that image?

* jokes don't translate well in dreams, but that was a good one

* the images get scrambled... something like that fairy tale... strange...

* from afar, a voice rumbles the words... "The End" ...

* PE decides the dream is worth her attention...

* Dream on PE.

*wakes up in PE's lap and carfully so as not to wake her, she gets up and takes her pill. she looks around the fire area and does not see kes. Footprints and holes scatter the sandy beach. Some one else is here*
hello.
*she adds fuel to the fire and pulls out the letter from her mummy again.*