h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm so glad to be back on this beach. I like it best... theres just something about it, it's peaceful, romantic.

THank you for the ride kes!

*seeing that the fire has gone out and fire being her specialty she begins to rekindle the embers.*

No problem, Lintilla - it was a tough climb down - you might have sprained an ankle.
Thanks - the fire would be great. As soon as it's going we can keep Peaceful warm. Are you hungry?

*shouting over to kes from the now toasty fire*
actually kes now that you bring it up the last thing i ate was the banana right when we left the base camp

bring peaceful over here and you can warm her up.

could u tell me a story?

Yes, I can tell you a story. Would you like a fairy story, or an adventure?
While you're deciding - here's the fish I cooked yesterday - it's cold, but OK. Eat some of that.
I'm just going to make sure Peaceful's sleeping comfortably, then we can have a story.

*Kes checks on Peaceful. She is (at least for the moment) the calmest, most serene thing on the island. At rest, relaxed and looking better than a million dollars (at least to Kes)*
Thanks for believing in me. I'll try not to let you down.
"Mmmm"
Sleep well.
*He turns back to Lintilla - another responsibility acquired!*

*dispises being considered a burden to kes*

could you tell a fairy tale?
*settles into kes's lap by th ewarm fire compleatly happy and compleate with a meal.*

Lintilla - I'll tell you what - we'll have a fairy story first, and then we'll have our own adventure. Is that alright?
Good. .......
A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, across the sea, there lived a rich, beautiful Princess. Her parents, the King and Queen were very wealthy, and lived in a huge castle at the top of a hill.
(Is this alright, Lintilla - OK)
She lived in a mansion all by herself, which made her rather selfish and a little bit greedy - but only sometimes. At other times she could be brave and kind, and she was always most beautiful.
(Sigh)
*That first image again - the Queen with a Sword ... Pikovaya Dama ... Queen of Spades, Queen of Swords*
*Looks at Peaceful, sleeping next to the spade, blinks*
She was a warrior, strong, wilful, and not everybody liked her.
(Hmm, now what?)
Her best friend was the young man who looked after her horses. He was from a peasant family, but he understood horses, and the Princess liked horses. She rode lots and lots - as she had plenty of spare time until she would become Queen.

Are you enjoying this, Lintilla?

Very much

* PE stirs a bit in her sleep, she's dreaming about a princess, a castle, and love...

Then, one day, there was a new arrival in the kingdom. She was a young lady who was blessed with the most beautiful appearance, but who had a dark and mischevious heart. She decided that she would take the place of the Princess.
Whenever she rode into the town, everyone would turn and look at her - she was so beautiful. All the men would sigh, but all the women were wary of her, for the steed she rode was the deathly pale grey of steel, and her coat of arms was ..was .. a heart - broken in two.

One day, she rode past the Princess's mansion, to see what was there, and she came across the stable boy, on whom she cast a magic spell. The stable boy looked into her eyes and lost his mind.
*Another image - the fool at the cliff edge*
*Kes notices he's perched on a rock. He decides to move next to the fire; he shrugs*

Are you warm enough, Lintilla?

* And a young man in an anorak who looked after her horses...

* the kingdom, in her dream, has fallen into hard times...
a cruel woman... if she seduced the young man...
the kingdom would be lost!

* forever!!!

* this was turning into a nightmare...

* No matter, just another simulpost nightmare.

* Kes had been wise to move from the cliff. Lintilla needed to be reassured, not scared out of her wits!!!

kes, please dont make it too scary or ill have nighmeres. A happy ending right???

I hope it will end happily, Lintilla, I really do ..
Sorry, what am I saying.
Yes, of course, a happy ending, but there's a bit more story ...

The Lady of Broken Hearts, for that was one of her names, so distracted the stable boy that he no longer talked to the Princess, and the Princess became both angry and sad, for she was losing her best friend. The Lady gave the stable boy ... gave him some ...
*Another image - the younger Queen, offering a Cup ... Queen of Cups, Queen of Broken Hearts*
*Kes loses the plot, sinking in a memory of what ddgb had offered, and what he had so thoughtlessly taken ... snap out of it - pas devant l'enfant!*
Oh - sorry ..
*Lintilla is looking at him, waiting for the next line. How long had he been day-dreaming?*
He .. he drank from the cup, and it tasted like the sweetest lilac wine. He drank again, and the more he drank, the sweeter it tasted, until .... er ..

Can I get you a drink of water, Lintilla?

Kes? Lintilla?

Did I really fall asleep?

* A princess was trying to save a good young man... the image disappeared as she moved closer to the fire...

*puzzled by the sudden question she nods yes and gets up from his lap.*

*she peers at peaceful.*

You know peaceful... you look like a princess. Just like in the story kes was telling me. I'm glad because you look like a good princess and that means you get a happy ending.

Kiddo: Hey folks! What's up? I came to dig. I don't know why but when Galaxy Babe healed me I suddenly had the urge to dig like crazy.
So here I go.

*Begins digging in the sand.*

* With that 'very wise' expression adults wear...

Lintilla, now you know why your parents have always told you never...
really NEVER to accept any food or drink from strangers...

Not even good looking or kind looking strangers.

Bad people sometimes don't look... don't seem to be bad.

Never forget that!!!