h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The storm brought us here, but whether that was weather or destiny - who knows?
We'll need some light so we can see what's at the back of the cave. Hang on.
*Kes tears a large strip from the "dead" anorak\flag, and wraps it around a long stick. Then he dips it into the fire. It burns erratically, but slowly, with some yellow flame, and a smell instantly identifiable as a burning old anorak*
Come on - Hold tight to me (Ooh - that's nice) Let's climb up here and see what there is. Can you see anything?

* Kes seems to hesitate. The is always a first time for everything.
Peaceful waits, with a lovely, expectant look on her face!

* The wise, resourceful Kes! The best stamp collector the world has ever seen, about to begin the strangest adventure this island had ever seen!

* Of course he hadn't been hesitating -- he'd been organizing the little expedition... she knew she could trust his resourcefulness!

No, can't see much, it's dark back there. But there is a breeze coming from that direction -

* He doesn't notice the tear falling for the demise of the anorak...

* But does Kes hear what sounds like a song from a horror movie, which accompanies that chilly breeze?

* A sudden thought interferes with the usual emptiness of her brilliant and scientific mind...

Kes, did you ever see a stamp showing those Plato cave dwellers ?

What's that?
*Kes doesn't recognise the sound, but it made Peaceful hang on even tighter, so it can't be all bad ...*
That draught means that there's a way out through the cave - must be around that boulder. Let's move on, but quietly.
*The torch is blown out, but there is a glimmer of light ahead. They clamber on*
Can you make out what the noise is, Peaceful?

* It's happening again. Sound or time is being reflected.

It's eery in here. If only they had remembered to bring the wise crab along. It was too late for that now...

* The light is not reassuring for Peaceful. With her brain capacity, everything is a mystery, anyway, so it's not that bad.

Kes, I'm not sure what it is, it sounds a bit like music to me...

* She thinks they'd better walk on - Kes might be right - there might be another way out of this cave. Better not look back!

*They find a narrow route past the boulders, slanting upwards. The light gets brighter. Then, they are at an opening in a rock face - totally covered with vines. Light seeps through, and the musics is loud ...*
Er, right. You wait here. I'll crawl out and take a look. If I'm not back soon, well, er, go back, I suppose.
No - don't cry. I will be very careful. This is my favourite skin, you know.
*He reaches the vines, drops to his knees, and starts to push through the green curtain ....*

*Kes disappears from Peaceful's sight. She trembles, and chews another nail*

Hey - Peacefu - *THUD* Aaargh!
*The music stops, mid-beat, as does PE's heart*

* The draught becomes a bit warmer... looking up, they suddenly see a hole - the sunlight is shining through... and a pool of light is cast on the cave floor. This part of the cave is almost bright, though it's hard to see the walls - dark and enigmatic as ever...

* Delete this posting from your memory, kindest of audiences - this was only Peaceful's mind - blanking out -

* again.

* It happened the way Kes told it!

* Her heart had always been obliged to be the stronger, as her brain was always working to its full two brain celled capacity...

* But it stopped...

* Was Kes safe?

* Was his stamp collection safe?

* Was that rock n'roll?

*A short silence - one of the sort that lasts for ever - or long enough for PE to visit a parallel universe and return. The Kes comes crashing back through the vines, with a silly grin on his face, and a piece of twisted wire in his hand*
Peaceful - I tripped over this wire and fell down. You'll never believe where we are.
We're at the Tribal Council!
(Hint - hint - PE changing to a different location soon Hint, hint!!! :') )

Come with me - I'll show you.
*He grasps her around the waist (the lad is getting older and bolder already *-) ) and pulls her through the vines.*
(To the Tribal Council, that it, OK? Got it? Triabl Council?)

* Peaceful's heart decided it might as well start beating again. Her brain hadn't even noticed the difference.

* But she did want to find out if Kes was safe...

* Slowly, ever so slowly, two mighty brain cells meet, and Peaceful follows Kes to the Tribal Council.

* The Nobel Prize will have to wait.

* The Sun gradually rises across the sky illuminating the small hidden beach... *

* The turbulent seas have left driftwood, the battered plastic coated tripod & some vines on the shore... *

* After Kes's & P.E intrepid adventures they manage to explore the width & length of the cave... *

* Amongst the boulders they find an ancient looking spade, half rotten through the elements covered with strips of mottled decaying clothing. This would normally bear closer inspection but P.E became just a little intimidated because of the skeleton attached to the clothing, which is all the more gruesome as the skull has been collasped in... *

* After moving hastily on, they stumbled upon the back of the small cave which lead them to a part of the Forest Area, which given their prior trepidation at such a place, they beat a hasty retreat back to the relative calm of the Tribal Council... *

*flutter of wings
GB reads the backlog and thinks "Were those two posting all night?"
She lands on Hidden Beach and cries out:
"Kes? I got your message on the answering machine at the Jetty! The Crab is here? Kes? KES??"
Suddenly, at her feet, she notices...
"Crab!!!!! Oh, thank goodness! I've found you at last!"
*Gathers him up in her hands
*Tucks him into a pocket on her Angel gown
*Looks around for the last time at the deserted beach.
Thinks: I wonder what happened to Kes, Peaceful, some bloke and Lintilla?
Oh, well, might as well try the Tribal Council......
*flutter of wings

GB lands at the Hidden Beach and looks around.
Deserted : Good
Places the metal detector up against some rocks.
Thinks: I hope he will have the sense to use this first, before he starts digging, or we could be here till Christmas!
Finds a hiding place and settles down to wait......

*Kes bursts out of the cave, carrying Lintilla on his back; Peaceful follows with the shovel*
Wheee! Giddyup! Whoa! That was fun, Lintilla. OK Get down now, let's see what's happened while we were gone.
See anything, Peaceful?

* Peaceful is a bit tired from carrying that heavy shovel... she's been surviving mainly on a steady ingestion of the letter 's' for the last few days...

Nothing much, Kes...

I'll just sit down for a moment, if you don't mind.

* Is that snoring we hear? No, lovely scientists don't do that...