h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*holding peacefuls hand as they walk along*
I think that you and kes SHOUlD be real mummies and daddies. You are very good at it and....
*her voice fades away as she begins to fall asleep and peaceful picks her up, dispite her weakness, and carries her to the boat.*

*Kes returns with the boat. He and Peaceful load all the supplies, and lift Lintilla gently on board. She sleps soundly - it looks as if that third paddle will be superfluous ....*
OK Peaceful - that's everything - no don't leave the anorak behind - we have a use for it. Just stow it under the seat there. Right. Here's the idea:

I made a map of the island when I went looking for you, before .... well, a couple of days ago. If there's anything happening, it will be at the jetty. We're going to sail round there.
It would be quicker to sail North, round Peaceful Bay, then NE til we reach the jetty, but the wind is blowing from the South - so it would blow us away from the island. We're going to have to go the long way round.
First, we must paddle South (against the wind) until we round the point, then we can head just a bit N of E, past Cragi camp, then floow the coast - not quite North) to the jetty.
Don't look so worried - when we get past the point, we're going to get a free ride - trust me!
Right now - off into deep water! Start paddling, Peaceful - sorry about the nail varnish!

* M.K finally returns to camp looking well & truly bedraggled from being in the clutches of Drop Dead Gorgeous Babe, the lump on his head still looking like a watermelon... *

* He passes by Kes out of breath saying... *

THAT'S NO WOMEN !!!

* Kes hits the floor... *

Oh sorry, I mean she is not ladylike !!!

* His facial tick flickers like someone who is about to turn left, he says to Peaceful... *

You wouldn't believe some of the sordid things she made me do !!!

* He strangely gets a nonchalent stare from P.E *

I mean some of them were positively unhygenic !!!

* P.E's teeth grind whilst her placid face doesn't change one iota... *

I feel quite violated !!!

* P.E thrusts forward grabbing a large piece of driftwood, lifts it effortlessly, and continues walking...

* M.K staggers off with a strange gait ...well sand in one's underpants does cause a lot of delicate friction... *

M.K*

MK - that makes two mighty powerful ladies. You should think yourself lucky you've only upset one of them. I've got bruises in places where I didn't even know I had places.
Does the project's insurance cover things like this?

Yes !!!

Well, for Marshalls anyway...

M.K

*reading backlog
"OUCH!" {but worth it......}

*spies the boat leaving, and wonders how to meet Kes again. after all, Matthew just wasn't quite able to make me feel the way Kes did... there was an innocence and a caring feel with Kes, so different from the demanding, dominance shown by Matthew *

oh Kes.... why are you still with her?

*struggles against the urge to fly to Peaceful's defence....
There are gonna be tears shed before the end of Survivor!

*Petunia feels a bit lonely and realizes that she has probably not met all of the Yapong tribe members. Sure, she'd made friends on the island, amongst them an ox, a tarantula, and a shaman, but she always seemed to end up alone. Well screw this, she says, and works at tying together some beautiful island flowers into a stunning bikini. She recites the bug repellant incantation which the friendly shaman had kindly shared with her, puts the bikini on and stolls into the other tribe's camp, tossing her sun-kissed hair*

* M.K runs from Drop Dead Gorgeous Babe *

* ...funnily enough as his turns his head to see if the siren is following he runs into Petunias waiting arms *

Oh...my !!!

M.K*

*Feeling a bit embarrassed about where MK's head has wound up, Petunia picks a flower from where it has gotten tangled in MK's hair. Smiles and thinks that Dirk Benedict may have nothing on him, afterall*
Petunia: Um, er, so... how's it going?
*Blushes and looks away to the ocean, unsure what type of small talk is appropriate for this type of situation*

* M.K blushes a little pondering how complicated his life has gotten in the last 24 hours... *

* He looks around to see if ddgb or Fashion Cat is around...and for that matter, Cerys Matthews who he 'ran into' at the Resort... *

* He then ponders whether someone on high has hijacked his life in a truly memorable carry-on type way... *

* He turns to Petunia, and he then fumbles around in his back pocket... *

I...I...got these lovely Petunias just for you !!!

M.K*

*plots*

*Petunia and MK are sprawled on the sand, where they ended up as a result of their impact. Petunia accepts the petunias*
Petunia: Oh, how sweet! Thank you.
*Kisses MK on top of his head. Petunia thinks that this guy is the head marshall or something... she tries to remember exactly, thinking that he is someone very important. Has brief debate with herself about whether it is ethical to become involved with the head marshall. Suddenly has disturbing thought that perhaps this whole contest was just a plot for the male marshalls to meet babes. No, that can't be it...*

*wakes up on the raft, very lost looking.*

Where are we going kes?
Can I see your pretty stamps?
Do I take a pill now?
Can I help?
Do you think peaceful is pretty?
Can I have something to eat?
My leg hurts, I think I slept on it funny.
Are we there yet?

Owww !!!

* M.K jumps... *

Please don't grapple me there Petunia !!!

I'm still a little delicate there...

M.K*

*realises she is no longer at the camp but on a shore among weackage*
please excuse the strange out of body experience i just had.

Delicate, eh? Well, I hope it was worth it! Was this contest mostly a ruse for you to meet women? I really must make an appointment to see my therapist when I get off this island!

*Remembers that she doesn't have a therapist*

I mean, I really must get a therapist when I get off this island! Tell you what, I'll keep quiet with my suspicions if you can arrange for some nice-looking fellow from the resort to leave me some caviar and champagne near the waterfall . And perhaps after the contest... well, I really do like you, so if you get the wild oats, or wild seaweed, out of your system, look me up.

*Gives MK one of her best demure looks just as a strong breeze ruffles the flowers of her bikini. Winks at MK, and leaves him, now all weak in the knees, sprawled on the sand*

*Kiddo runs up the beach. Stops, and jumps into the ocean. He swims back out and falls into the sand. Then He jumps up. Looks to the right, then swings his head to the left.*

*Kiddo hops back and forth on the beach then back in the water. Back out again he digs a whole in the sand like a dog. Then he runs down the beach screaming.*

*Completely ignoring everybody*