h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*finishes malibu & pineapple*
A sequel?
Let me check my schedule...
Hi Kiddo! *hugs* Nice wings!!
Hey Matt, I thought you already ~were~ dead!!!

Gee... I hadn't noticed

BTW I think this place is currently holding U.S Naval wargames, so you had better scarper pronto...

The Late M.KÝ

*On the floor of the hut is a small handle. Turning it, eats finds that a trapdoor lifts.
Stepping cautiously down the ladder, he finds a shellproof cocktail bar (well stocked) and prepares to sit out the manoeuvres*

I think I could cope with this

*then realises he forgot to bring the cocktail cherries with him*

*Outside, screaming voices are shouting*

"HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT"

Blimey...I know I made a good job of it, but this is ridiculous.

*Suddenly remembers US Marines normal running noise*

Ah, perhaps not.....

*The ground shakes from an explosion, and dust falls from the roof*

Think I'll amend "Duck and cover" to "duck and sip"....

Knocks back the rest of his Malibu and Pineapple.

Pity about the cherries tho..........

*Flash of green light*
This place never seems to end!
*Flash of green light*

May I have another Malibu & Pineapple?
*typical English, ignoring the place falling apart around her ears*

* M.K makes plans to sink the island all together... *

The Late M.KÝ

It's a shame he's dead then

You obviously didn't get to meet Chief Mangotutu or you wouldn't be dilly-dallying about in your mortal state...

The Late M.KÝ

I never had the pleasure. Anyway Angels aren't mortal.

GrassScab the Mutant: i heard that Matt is missing.

Nevermind how i got here.
I'm looking for clues.
Who was the last person to see him?
where was he last?
Where were you last night?
Who was that woman I saw you with last night?
Where were you two weeks ago?
where are you going today?
what's your favorite color, red or seven?
Where did you get that haircut?

Give me answers!

Don't know,
Don't know,
You don't want to know,
You don't know her,
Still don't know,
Forward....its always forward.....
State Blue (new Ka you see....or won't)
And I never incriminate my hairdressers............

*Raises head above the parapet*

Guess MK hasn't sunk the island yet

Now where are those ice-cubes?........

This island will never die! It's a Survivor.

*hands the island a million-dollar prize, and when it does not accept, keeps the money and runs off.*

GrassScab: Thank you eatsmice, you were very unhelpful.

You need help?
Why don't you ask me?

*eats finds a deckchair at the tideline*

No doubt left by those Military manoeuvres

*Sits back and sips Malibu and Pineapple.....minus ice (still awaiting delivery by Archangel Galaxy Babe....or Fed Ex - whoever delivers first gets the payment!) and watches the sun sink in the West*

*Having developed Scottish winter-blue skin again, eats rubs on a suitable sun factor (wishing a babe could be doing it for him) and prays for a delivery of ice.........and cocktail cherries if anyone is listening*

*A guy who wasn't an angel the last time he was on the island, hears the heartfelt cry for survival necessities, and swoops down on angelic wings, throwing a parachute .... which supports a parcel .... which contains:

- large quantity of ice cubes in insulated container
- bottle of cocktail cherries
- 3 bottles various olives
- battery operated sunlamp.

Keep well, eats ... see you on the other side ..

*He flies off*

GrassScab: Galaxy Babe! Where is Matthew you fiend, I mean, friend?