h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

which reminds me...we need a medic....and then maybe an undercover espionage guy...who can like..infiltrate the squirrel community and sabotage their industries and power plants etc....if we can cut their source of money and weapons..surely the war will be ours.

is james bond for hire?

well..technically..he'll be too big to infiltrate the squirrel strongholds...we need some one small...dammit....we need a chiauaiahahahfhaha...and a dictionary

u mean one of those small yappy dogs that hate everybody and are probably in league with the squirrels anyway?...........

Maybe the alien can shrink herself down a little more and wear a disguise? I hate little dogs, I'm always worried I'm gonna step on it and piss off some old lady with the dog

Why be frightened of pissing off old ladies? Pissing off old ladies is one of my favourite hobbies. Yes Chawawwawawawwaaaaas are as evil as they are hard to spell and I have reason to believe that they were created by evil mexican squirrel scientists trying to create a squirrel/dog hybrid so as to make peace with the canine king (alsatians are often used as successful squirrel-hounds.) If we wish to clear the trees we must go swith the old method.
FLAMETHROWERS

Bwahahahahahahaha

Overexcitable Bob

now u mention flame throwers me and my school companions (who i am converting to our cause) went on a french book burning spree at the bottom of the school field. with nothing but a can of hairspray and a lighter we proceeded to burn the hell out of the evil books that made our life hell for the past 5 years. it was fun. and we may have singed a few squirrels while we were at it.

I am usually against book burning in general as it is a waste and reminds me of the nazis (the evil squirrel-lovers they were.)

However I will make an exception for French school books. Good work scruff. I shall see you commended for this.

Hmmm. Squirrels?

They are just rats with good P.R.

As on revolutionary to another I will offer my mercinary services to the ASL

....for a bounty.

Clive.

Welcome Clive!

The revolution could do with more Warlords. (Although I'm still God)

Are you having a good Wibble?

Yup! A good Wibble to be sure. Going home on Saturday!

Okay, God.
I'll settle for "crazed mercenarie with a nervous tick and a hair-trigger"
Us Warlords sometimes need to wind down, mounted squirrels - make a damn fine trophy that Don't-cha'-know.

*cocks rifle*

I have *just* found this article on the net, ought to interest you. Pay close attention to the second paragraph. It's a BBC news link so it should survive being Modded.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1373000/1373557.stm

Clive "I-ain't-got-time-to-bleed". Ventura

Welcome to the ASL clive! Oh and careful with that rifle I am in the process of training my dragons to brutally kill any squirrel that points any kind of gun/sharp pointy stick at them, they haven't quite got the hang of it yet. Not to worry though I am alos teaching them first aid!
scruff.

Squirrel fillet.

There's good eatin' on one of them.

Clive *runs a whet stone along his "whirlin'-blades 'o' death"*

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm squirrel steaks.

Mind you don't shoot any of us either. We need all the anti-squirls we can get. Excuse the delinquincey I have insane amounts of work to do. Damne work.

ugh work. At this moment in time I am stuck translating everything i want to say out of welsh first. I don't know what happened. I just woke up this morning thinking in welsh. damned exams.

Wow. That's coincidental. All my friends say that I turn Welsh when I get really angry. I don't know why, I can't even speak Welsh and have never even been there.

By the way could I borrow that whet stone I need to sharpen my kidney splicer. Now there's a weapon of mass extraction.

Good work training the dragons. They are coming along well.

*hands over whet stone*

*takes out a small file and starts sharpening the points on the squirrel-sized Iron-Maiden...*

I pity the squirrels that cross your path clive.

i could use that iron maiden, i was sitting under a tree this morning and a gang of them viciously attacked me with nuts, branches and whatever else they could get their dirty little paws on.