h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

yeah but whilst totally drunk you feel in better situation to deal with the problem. you're not. you just feel like you are. and that's what's important right?

parhaps, but I think being actually prepared is better then feeling prepared because you are drunk. but maybe thats just because I'm a robot and can't be drunk.

marv

the only useful drink is pepsi. it wakes me up when i haveta stay up late writing term papers. unfortunately, it doesn't affect my preparedness in any way, shape, or form; nor does it give me the illusion of preparedness that alcohol does. but even alcohol doesn't get my health paper written. ::sniff::

unless of course you are doing a case study on alcoholism.... but that was 8th grade.

marv

ps coffee is good too. that makes you feel prepared

Irn Bru is a gift from God. In one small, sickly sweet and undoubtably toxic gulp of this bright orange sugar solution and your hangover disapears. It's a shame that they don't sell it in America. The best ideas are scottish.
Also Red Bull is great for keeping yourself awake between university lectures.

hey guys. y'know the squirrels? remember them? well anyway i can only watch out for squirrels in the library for a while o.k. this is because my internet connection at home does not work and i have decided to live in the library where there is a constant internet suply. i am happy to report there are no squirrels in the library!

maybe they're hiding between the book stacks.

or maybe they ARE the bookcases? processed slightly, but still... you never know. what do the sqrls live on? they have such a high population density, WHAT DO THEY EAT?

marv

nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts.
Peanuts, Walnuts, Hazelnuts, Pecan nuts, Brazil nuts, Cashew nuts, chesnuts and even my nuts..your nuts and his nuts...damn them.
Damn them to hell

...Quickly grabs nuts
EEEK!

I have known squirrels to rip book covers off books and rap them around themselves to disguise themselves as books. Beware while in Libraries or book stores. We have lost many a good soldier this way.

Remember that the squirrels may be evil but are intelligent. Therefor they will feel bad destroying a good book. You should be pretty safe in the classics section. However if you should go near romance, westerns or teenage fiction you are putting yourself at extreme risk. Luckily I have fantastic taste in books and have managed to avoid this danger most of the time.

However I was once attacked by a particularly prudish squirrel that dived at me from a "How to..." book on giving multiple orgasms. I managed to hold it back between two well exercised fingers (okay, okay it wasn't the first time I was caught reading this...) while I managed to grab an omnibus edition of "Lord of the Rings"...including "the Hobbit" and beat down my foe. (what it was doing in the same section as the book I was reading I don't know... I guess it takes all sorts.)

So there you see. Always be wary in the company of libraries as they may be filled with squirrels or debauched lunatics like me.

hehehe

Sick Bob

and I was just in a library today... I don't think I saw any sqrls there but it was rainny so maybe they do not go out in the rain. Afraid of mildow

marv

Can I join? I know I am an italic but I am very committed to the cause.

Elvis ate squirrels as a kid and look what happened to him... I rest my case!!!

Yes join, please join and tell your friends too. The anti-squirrel legue needs allies especially ones in high places (not just up trees.)
Welcome Abi. We are not prejudiced here for being an italic (although you still have to worship the chiefs like everyone else - until you are made one that is and then you only have to worship me.)
heeheehee

Bob

I'm in a tree

can the squirrel league use any monkey butlers to beat down the enemy? as monkey butler leader i can provide troops plus unicycles for them to ride

We already have two monkey butlers (Christopher and Randolf) and a Lemur butler in disguise as a monkey (Anton) but more are welcome as they are great warriors. The unicycles sound useful as do the cardbourd boats. Welcome to the ASL, monkey butler leader. You will cetainly do well here. I suggest that you go to either Jed, positivefreak or my home page now and look for a forum called grrrr...hssss! It's very long but you may find it quite rewarding. Do you have a name (other than your title) or are you remaining covert for security reasons? The role of monkey butler leader must be a dangerous one with all this primate terrorism going on.

yeah, alexa, but don't leak that to the squirrels…

ah, spring. the season of many little squirrel babies frolicking on branches and falling off of them. at least, it can be arranged. or maybe we could talk sense into the youngsters. at how early an age does the evil manifesto become impressed upon mini-squirrels, may i ask?

they are born knowing it. like the bees. trust no squirl

You were right!!!!! they were there! it was horrible, there were hundreds of them all in the teen section, I almost didn't see the post about beating them off with classics but thankfully my trusty dragon sidekick pointed it out and together we beat them down with copies of lord of the rings and managed to claim the library for the asl. i must now go and tend my wounds.