h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I wanted to show that The Celery's team was pompous and out of touch with the general h2g2 member then your patronizing little answer would be just the sort of ammo I needed.

I am aware of the game we are playing, thank you. Just to make this absolutely clear, my strategy (at the moment, there will be others) is to stop people believing in The Celery so that he ceases to exist.

Don't take it all so seriously. And stop bringing real life into it.

As long as people continue to believe in the F&F and I continue to believe in the that Menza puts in front of me I'll be happy.

By the way, sorry to see the state of your Rat. A fine adversary, that one. We must see if we can turn him away from the Dark Side.

I agree, Peregrin. This whole virtual/real debate is specious. All of h2g2 life is virtual, so what does it matter?

As to how The Celery would be able to perform his duties as President - the same way he is handling his campaign. And you can't say that it hasn't been colourful! Just think - every week, a report full of wit, energy and information.

Hiding behind a mask? You mean you really ARE a bird?

*drags small coffin out of closet*

heh heh heh

Hey Alabaster Ant Lady, heres that pigeon you shot! Did it exist?

*scurries back into closet*

Yes it was both real and delicious thank you. Kitty (the cat who lives under the F&F) agrees with me.

Kitty and I are friends.

Kitty is also very large, nearly always hungry and familiar with the h2g2 sewers.

Amy, I think we have you on about 32 counts of inconsistency here.

Don Alfredo promised to protect Styx from death threats. We'll have to notify him.

Anyway, it does seem as if you are claiming that only the entities YOU bring into existence here on h2g2, or that you approve of personally, are to be admitted as bona fide. If the pigeon is real, was real I should say, then the Celery is real. Ditto Kitty, although I haven't had the pleasure of her acquaintance. Does she, like you, talk?

I think it's terrible that you shot that poor pigeon and stole its WAP phone. And now you gloat about it!

As I said to Peregrin a few posts back:

This whole virtual/real debate is specious. All of h2g2 life is virtual, so what does it matter?

I think this whole issue has become tiresome and much too serious. And the attacks by AA have lost their sense of fun and have turned nasty. Time to move on.

Yes Kitty does, like me talk. Like me she appears on the list of H2G2 users and that's more than can be said for The Celery.

And that (to be serious for a while and representing only myself as a relatively new user to h2g2 rather than an employee of Peregrin) is my main problem with The Celery.

Not to say that I really have a problem with The Celery - after all who cares?

If a new or inexperienced user wants to contact The Celery following something written in The Post (for example) they will have to know, or find out, that the guy they need to speak to is Garius Lupus. It took me three days to figure that out and I'm pretty confident at finding my way around virtual environments of this type.

What might appear to The Celery Clique to be an amusing notion -- a president who is not a researcher -- is just going to be an inconvenience and source of confusion.

If GL were to sign on as The Celery in addition to his Roman persona it would solve the problem. The Celery would then exist in the same way as Kitty (to whom I give milk and pigeon sandwiches) rather than existing in the same way as that dratted pigeon (to whom I am less kind).

It could be that The Celery Coterie has no members that have joined recently. The experience of joining h2g2 today must be very different from that of a year ago. A little empathy wouldn't go amiss.

I intend to continue enjoying my role as Head of Security for Mr. Peregrin. If you have a problem with it, it's your problem not mine.

Garius Lupus - can you clarify something for me: Is the Celery you or Redbeard?

None of the above. If you've been to The Gam Room you might have a better clue as to who The Celery is.

He is neither, Peregrin. He is an entity who lives in h2g2. RB and I (and others) are just one of his means for communicating with others. Since I was instumental in his creation on the Space Centre Biome, he does talk to me alot. But he does talk to RB and the rest of the campaign staff, too. I also see him quite frequently because he is now living at Crater Labs, Inc, where I work and have rooms.

Friendly tip - you might want to clarify that a bit better on The Celery's campaign HQ - so they know who the researchers behind him are.

Thanks Peregrin!

I'm on the staff, but I don't speak for the Celery, I'm just part of the think tank. If it worked for Ronald Reagan, I'm sure it will work for us!

Certainly I can assure the constituency of h2g2 that not only are they more likely to get a prompt response with a team on the job, but the Celery's take on any issue is likely to be less one-sided than if a single entity were reacting to the matter.

By the way, Baldrick and Fashion Cat, I congratulate you both on an original and, er, revealing campaign portrait. It's wonderful!

Asteroid Lil
Spin Doctor, Celery-Webjello 2000
A Vote for the Celery is a Vote for Threadiquette!

'the Celery's take on any issue is likely to be less one-sided than if a single entity were reacting to the matter'
Why, are you all clones of each other? Surely you have SOME differing opinions. How can you coordinate yourselves without tedious crosschecking and delays?

Well, the fact that we're NOT clones of each other is what makes the result less one-sided. While I'm not sure there is such a thing as a "typical h2g2 researcher" (this being such an above-average and multi-talented population), we the Celery Team are united in our policy goals, even though we are diverse in origin.

CLI operates at the bleeding edge of technologies that haven't even been thought of yet on Earth. I would tell you how we coordinate ourselves rapidly if I understood how it works! But I suspect that the information is secret and proprietary, so even if I did understand, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Sorry.

The staff has decidedly different opinions on a lot of things. That's part of the fun of all of this. We're definitely not clones -- we're different ages, nationalities, lengths of time on h2g2, have different interests, etc. But despite our differences, we're all behind The Celery for Virtual Prez.

We support his campaign platform as he stated it in this week's post http://www.h2g2.com/A395110 (I thought he did a really nice job with it, BTW) and on his campaign page http://www.h2g2.com/A384257 so it's very easy for us to speak for him. Although we have excellent communication with The Celery and each other, we don't have to confer with him or each other before every thing we do any more than you and your staff have to confer before every post you make. We try our best to follow what he wants and at the same time he respects our expertise and welcomes our input in the campaign. In that manner we are a team. That teamwork actually allows us to respond very quickly, almost regardless of time of day.

I'm sorry if there was any confusion regarding who the Celery is. As he stated on his campaign page, he is not a researcher, but rather an h2g2 creation.

The Celery is The Celery. He's the one who met the official requirements for running for Virtual Prez. GL, Affy, Lil, Loony, Pierrot, myself, and other members of the staff are members of the staff. The Celery's picture is in the Rogue's Gallery, and his home page is at http://www.h2g2.com/A384257. Links to all of this staff are at the bottom of the campaign page.

Redbeard, Chief Political Operative
Celery/Webjello 2000
'This is h2g2, where anything can happen!'

Oops... sorry, Lil. I've got to remember to re-check the thread when I get called to the phone in the middle of writing a post

But I guess it does show that we're a good team and can respond quickly!