h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As an established resident of the great state of Florida...

I demand a recount!

I distinctly saw Baldrick sprinkling chads on ice cream cones he was selling from his stall.

Don Alfredo directed his partisans to intimidate voters under 3 feet tall.

I am concerned that your vote-counting methods did not pick up all virtual votes.

Yeah, and I hear some people mistakenly voted for Demon Drawer instead of The Celery! They were confused by the instructions, and wrote 'Demon Drawer' in their ballot emails, thinking they were voting for The Celery.

Strange I thought it was the other way around. A also think the last three votes were actually pregnant chads and should not have been added to Peregrin's piles after all.

...DD, I agree, especially as those pregnant chads have since given birth and the new votes are still in Peregrin's vote pile.
Not fair! Not fair!

Well, if it comes to that, I have a feeling that some of The Celery's voters were underage

And, well, all the people who voted for anyone but me were just insane!

*realises who's in this thread with him...*

Ahem...oh heck...

*Runs.*

*Very fast.*

Now that was a case of the insane caliing the insane insane if ever I saw one.

*Note, well, question: And you've seen many of those cases have you? *

A little less partisan rhetoric, if you please, gentlemen.

I propose that all the ballots be taken by chariot to Mogadishu and kept under guard by local warlords until the judges decide what to do about my protest.

Good idea, shame that I happened to destroy the ballots and evidence of the voting as soon as I gained power. Unfortunate really, we'll just have to accept the result.

What about the virtual ballots then?

I have reason to believe that over 50,000 ballots were accidentally not counted.

Want to take this to the h2g2 Supreme Court?



Actually I think the US candidates ought to have their problems solved on the Jerry Springer show... it would be much more suitable than all this legal battling

I've nabbed a bit of this conversation for my column in the Post... let me know if you don't want me to do this and I'll take it out.

- Peregrin the Plagarist

...I thought the legal battling was the Jerry Springer show, except without Jerry Springer as he's been busy with the Miss World competition in the Millennium Dome's Body Zone.

<BB<

Ok let's do this on Jerry at http://www.h2g2.com/F46364?thread=91299&skip=0&show=20

OK with me Peregrin -- couldn't resist reviving this thread in light of current events!

and I could resist stealing it and putting it in the Post...

[n't]