h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*There is a muffled "ouch" from beneath the sand. The sand mound moves directly beneath the pie rack and few minutes pass during which there are muffled grunts and thumps from beneath the sand. Then, the pie rack drops 6 inches into the sand. There is a muffled "Ha!", followed by renewed grunts and thumps.*

*the CLI bot whistles to his fellow guards, and together they haul the pie safe well to the side of the depression. Grabbing plates, they begin scooping sand away from the place where the sand is moving*

*Lil grabs a pie, and floats quickly forward, intending to fling it at the intruder as soon as it/he/she is revealed, but doesn't pay proper attention to the harkonnen controls and bumps into nbb, who is already at the scene*

*The pie in her hand smacks into the back of nbb's head*

Oops.

Following the accepted rules of not acknowledging a pie throw if I do not wish too, nbb allows the pie to drift through him and strike the original target

{SCENE: High above, in the pale blue æther layered above the Waterworks of H2G2, appears a comet-like trail of light. Its trajectory suddenly changes, carving a path downward, slicing through the upper atmosphere and dipping low to travel parallel to the expanse of sea stretching across the horizon. It turns again and streaks toward The Beach. In the span of several heartbeats, the object has cut a swath of ocean spray all the way to the leading edge of the sand and comes to an abrupt halt there. A grey-haired man in dark glasses--wearing a trench coat with a battered leather satchel over his shoulder and grasping a rumpled large towel--steps purposefully from a shining silver surfboard. He turns to the hovering board and speaks.}

Norrin barada niktu.

{The surfboard instantly tips up on end and flings itself skyward, disappearing in the blink of an eye. B4 turns and at first walks with halting steps on the verge of water and sand, then begins to trot across the loose dry sand farther in, taking measured careful strides--in sandals! His trench coat flaps open because of the off-shore breeze and his jogging gait, and it’s evident he’s wearing swim trunks beneath the coat. Several seagulls squawk and go airborne, hanging like small kites on the sea breeze, as the slightly built man trundles along the beach. He makes a bee-line for the harkonnen holding Lil. He notices there’s a bit of potential drama transpiring and slows to a walk, catching his breath as he approaches. He puts his hand with quiet gentleness on Lil’s shoulder, in an effort not to startle. END SCENE.}

B4ifinallykeeptabsonallmyappointmentswithareliablePDA

Well, per rule 3, ~you're~ going to be a boring pie-throwing opponent.


Well, hallo B4! Glad you could make it! I should take that coat off if I were you, before it gets pied.

*heads over to the pie safe for another pie* Mmm, chocolate....

Yeah, I could do that; or I could keep it on as a buffer against the pie-slop.
…
No, you’re right. The dry cleaning bill for the coat wouldn’t justify its use as a shield.
{He steps into one of the beach changing rooms and emerges without all the other tribal regalia. There are traces of sunblock on his nose, shoulders, arms, and legs. His swim trunks are colored like a fluttering American flag. It’s not his movements while walking that give it the effect; the fluttering is more noticeable when he stands still, and the design actually shifts as if in a breeze. He’s kept on the sandals and dark shades, but--other than that--he’s ready to soak up some yellow sun light on this Class M planet.}

Hey, I wanted to apologize for the late arrival. I got the memo via sub-etha, and you know how undependable those long-range links can be. I was taking care of some family business, as well as attending a festival that--oddly enough--coincides with the American Independence Day holiday. The Betelguesan Festival of Tomp Fu Laury is actually a month-long outing we engage in, where people dress up in outrageously lavish and colorful costumes, ramble across the countryside and through the streets of towns, all the while singing, laughing, telling stories, and finding high-octane libations and exotic foods to savor. I’ve witnessed something similar to it while on assignment to New Orleans, but it was a bit tame there for my tastes. Anyway, I’d fulfilled my obligations to the family, and I’m still stuffed to the gills from all the imbibing, so I thought I’d cut it short and see how things are going here. Have the games started yet?

B4thefestivitiesgointofullswing&someonetoaststhe1stroundofdrinks

Takes Lil's pie and throws it at her to test whether she is a fun pie'throwing type

Then grabs another and eats it quickly, lest revenge be enacted, before sprinting off to his ready made bunker and sealing it behind himself

*Afgncaap5 removes the cloth from the cart he wheeled in to reveal five oddly shaped pie tins*

There we go. Five aerodynamically perfected pie tins. I shudder to think what a professional athlete could do with a pie in one of these things, but it could work wonders for the casual pie thrower. A suitable prize for a winner, I think.

I'm still trying to figure out if we should market these under the Crater Cuisine label or the Crater Toys label. It'll still be a few months before I have to cross that bridge, though.

*Witty makes her way to the beach, not looking where she is going because she is typing furiously on her iPad and frowning. She trips on a stick and face plants into the sand. *

[Yar reaches out and attempts to halt Witty's tumble with his aforesaid powers.]

[Yar] Ehh, it's not that I /can't/, I just wanted to sidestep accusations of cheating before they happened. Also because Muffin's developed a bit of a distaste for versus-multiplayer games.

*catches nbb's pie full in the face, lets go of the controls and falls over sideways into the sunken area of sand*

Mmf!

SPLAT! A well aimed pie hits Tod full in the face. After wiping the goo from his eyes and checking his G&T has not been diluted, he scans the beach for the culprit. Everyone looks suspiciously innocent. HHmm. Tod marches up to the pie trolly and carefully selects a PMD [ Pie of Mass Destruction ]

Can anyone say if you have to *participate* in the triathlon, or if it's ok just to watch? I really prefer pies to be tasted, not externally applied...
Oh, and, which bot should I approach for a YinnentoNeek?

*As the bots dig with the pie plates, the sand mound desperately tries to move away, with little success. Gradually, more and more blue fur is revealed until there is no sand mound left, just a large blue furry monster, face down, making swimming motions in the sand. The monster suddenly realizes he is exposed and jumps up with an "I meant to do that" look on his face. He strikes a casual pose, looking cool, then, remembering that he is a ferocious monster, snarls and growls and tries to look as large as he can.*

ME WANT PIE!

*The Pie Monster looks like he is from the same family as the Sesame Street Cookie Monster and the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Bigger than Cookie, smaller than 'Bominable. Still has all of his teeth.*

*wonders if the famous fuzzy blue trousers are made from the combed off hair of the Pie Monster. It's amazingly similar in colour*

*Yar's attempt to stop Witty's fall actually just rolls her on to her back in the sand. She spits sand out of her mouth and props herself up on one elbow.*

That'll learn me to not pay attention to where I'm going. *Picks up stick she tripped over.* Hmmm, this may be good for the Pooh Sticks event.

Hey! Bot! Fetch me a Margarita, please. Make sure it has a festive little umbrella in it. I'm celebrating the end of my summer courses.

*picks herself up from the sand, wiping excess pie off her face, and heads for the ocean to wash off. Thanks to the cream on her face, she doesn't see the pie monster at first, until she collides with him*

*feeling the fur with pie-coated fingers* Who's this?

[Yar] Sorry, Witty! ... Uh, Lil, you might wanna step back, it seems to be some kind of ... Pie Monster.

[He reaches towards the pies, and telekinetically brings one over; as it moves, it is surrounded by a weird greenish glow. He sizes up the monster with a "the bigger they are the harder they fall" sort of expression, spinning the pie tin on one finger.]

[Yar] Guess I *am* gonna be throwing some pies after all.

*A full-grown golden wolf with mahogany eyes comes wandering over, having lost Amy's scent--not that tracking paper is easy!*

*Sees Amy at the end of a string.*

*Breeze shifts--smells pies!*

*Also thing-with-fur*

*Is almost reeled in far enough to let go of kite and grab onto Milla*

I'm pretty sure that Flamedancer was coming along--I can ride on her--at least until the pie fight starts in earnest--she may try to catch the ammo.

*Spots big blue furry thing*

What's that?

*Spots Flamedancer*

Flamedancer! Here, girl!

[ooc--Yes, I know wolf behavior isn't identical to dog behavior. Then again, I doubt wolves are merely young adults at nearly 12 years old, either Regardless, the only canine I have to observe to base behavior off of is my dog, except Flamedancer's manners are better...]