h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1st-Degree Murder by a 2nd-Class Citizen with a 3-Wheeled Conveyance

Genocidal Geriatric Granny [some grannies can be quite young...]

Calibrate the Cushman; This One's Set on 'Crush'

"Papa Don't Screech, When I Run You Down" [tune by the now matronly Madonna]

Department Store Debacle: Scooter 'Does In' Dad

State Driver's Handbook for Retail Store Aisle Navigation

"Eliminator" by ZZ Top [oops! wait a minute...that's a real one]

stopmeB4istarttheignition

I am off to bed to try and get past the intro for White Mughals. It's not the book that's at fault, I just can't keep my eyes open long enough. I hope that the jetlag has finally gone tomorrow.

I shall try and get round to posting some photos on yahoo tomorrow, whilst H is at Twickers watching England v Wales.

I see Death By Scooter as a Miss Marple mystery, made into a movie starring the wonderful Margaret Rutherford. There's the winsome shopgirl, the working class hero, the upper crust young marrieds slumming it at the department store during their teatime, the pipe-smoking smelly old bachelor and an adorable springer spaniel.

For me, Death by Scooter is a Sondheim musical in which the main character, an artist named Scooter who is working on his masterpiece entitled "Death", is killed in a freak supermarket accident while buying a bra by an old woman driving a scooter. I'm not sure why the supermarket is selling bras, but I'm sure it will be explained by some lengthy song.

That has Tony potential written all over it...

I look nothing like Margaret Rutherford! I don't look like a springer spaniel either. I want to be played by Catherine Zeta Jones.

I want to ~be~ Catherine Zeta Jones.

I look more like Tom Jones. Especially the pot belly.

That's certained changed the mental imagine I have off Hypatia

Any of the UKians watching the 'not dogey at all documentry' on disabled people and sex?

(ITV btw)

Hey, I'd rather look like Tom Jones than Margaret Rutherford.

Actually Tom Jones in drag would be a perfect Miss Marple. He could handle the musical angle. And he's usually associated with women's underwear.

Gee, now I've seen two threads today that reference women's underwear. Small world.

I saw a Tom Jones interview earlier this week. He said his son made him update his look because he was becoming a caricature of himself.

[MTG who wants to be portrayed by Oliver Plat in an Atelier film]

Only two!

I've got a thread where I"m discussing internal Birmingham university student politics in a lot of detail with two people I've met in real life.

Oh yes and people only use the internet to talk to nutters from the other side of the world don't we!

Who said you were Margaret Rutherford, Amy? You could have been the winsome shop girl (played by Miss Zeta-Jones) or better yet, the scooter.

I would be Catherine *only* if I didn't have to be married to Michael Douglas. Now George Clooney on the other hand...

But if you were Miss Jones, then you'd be able to leave him.... and get a generous divorce settlement. Or do they have a pre nuptial agreement?

In any future movies of my life, I want to be played by Nicole Kidman.

Yeah, MR, but is she really a "natural" redhead?

B4iputafootin

As a fan of Ms Kidman, I must at this point say that it matter not if she is a natural redhead or not.

I would have to agree.

When they finally get around to making a movie of my life - shortly after my beatification - I want to be played by a great great great great granddaughter of Audrey Hepburn.