h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would venture to say, particularly in the West, that the connection between marriage and children has been entirely seperated. Premarital sex, single parenthood and alternative lifestyles are getting less and less controversial on the whole then they used to be 20, 30 or 40 years ago.

[GD]

I've gotta say that power can definitely be taken, but not every type of power. I may not let a person break my free will, but that doesn't mean that there are other artificial forms of power that can easily be taken. Such as robotics and mechanics. Computer viruses, for instance.

"But where children are involved, the situation is different. There has to be some way for society to say that this relationship is special. You have a primary duty to the care and upbringing of the new lives that you have brought into the world."

Normally, I would agree with this statement. I spent well over a year trying to hold my marriage together becasue of my kids. The stress of the situation was so bad that I started acting in ways that I completely abhor. We would get into fights that would get physical (I never once hit her) and Marv would have to come pick me up to keep me out of jail. Whay I'm saying is that there is no reason for parents to stay together just because of the children.

[Hyp]

[MTG]

Marriage can be really, really hard GDZ. For my parents generation, there was no question - marriage was for life. Some of them no doubt disfunctional, but to be honest, I don't see the liberalisation that has grown over the last 40 years producing better, stronger relationships.

I think those who are able to make it work (self not included, just remarried), deserve full respect.

I get emotional about people. Engaged twice, married the third. Been together 22 yrs and holding. As far as "power" is concerned..I presume that means in the sense of control or influence over people in the political sense.

Humm children and marriage, I grew up in a community where very few people had stable marriages, at school hardly anyone lived with two parents who were still married to each other but their marriage wasn't conventional. No I'm not about to post details of it on a public website..

Yes it was traumatic when your parents split up but it didn't ruin your life, you just got on with things. I don't think anyone's scared for live as a result. Also because no one had married parents, (this was a hippie commune) you knew that your parents relationship was going to end sooner or later so it wasn't a surprise to you at all.

Well my parents did but they don't have a monogamous relationship. I always thought that marriage was like Latin, something people did in the 1950s, but is an archane instituation now.

But now in live with (only live with - as a flatmate) someone who's studying latin at university, so I guess it was just the community I grew up in.

I still think that both marriage and learning Latin are outdated, but I'd quite like to do both. They seem like nice ideas.

I've been married since forever and it's basically a good marriage because we both think each other the funniest thing - in other words, humour has got us through a lot.
Like any relationship, we've had good spells and less good spells and I have to say that without that wee bit of paper there were times I wouldn't have stayed around waiting for things to improve again.
Actually, the first year was the worst in many ways - I'd have been home to Mum but for two things: firstly, I couldn't afford the rail fare at the time and secondly, she'd have just sent me straight back!

Teuchter...my wife was exactly like that!

Oh boy. Culture gap. Generation gap. Probably some other kind of gap as well.

I am definitely in favor of marriage. And believe that children deserve two parents and a secure environment. I also think that a commitment - be it marriage or a long-term relationship in the case of those who are unable to marry - should be taken seriously enough by both parties that a sincere effort is made to make the relationship work.

Divorce is too easy. I have heard prospective brides and grooms say that they aren't sure, but what the heck, they can always get a divorce if it doesn't work. How crazy is that? If you aren't sure then don't do it.

Marriage is also too easy. I approve of the prenuptial classes that couples are required to attend before they can marry in the Catholic church. Marriage should be taken seriously and it's ridiculous that in most places it is easier to get married than it is to get a business license or a drivers license.

*climbs down from soapbox and goes off to soak her head*

"Power cannot be taken, it can only be given away".

I am too tired to work out what I want to say about this, but it is to do with that the most powerful people are those who choose not to use it. I am tempted to say think how effective Nelson Mandela was in changing South Africa, even though he was in solitary confinement. A less inspirational example is the fact that self-censorship is far more effective than censorship.

I wish that I could articulate clearly....

However, in discussing this with the Stepson I have concluded that whoever asks the most interesting questions has the most power. And the most interesting questions are often the stupidest.

B
*Thinks about relationships, marriage, divorce and damaged children, but doesn't want to go there right now*

I agree with those that say that marriage should be taken seriously - but then, that probably comes from having parents that stayed married through ups and downs.

To some people, being married might make them try harder to make their relationship w*rk than if they just lived together - but on the other hand I know couples that aren't married that have been living together for *years*...

Personally, having gone through my parent's divorce, I would much prefer to be married for the rest of my life. That was so heartbreaking, I can't imagine myself willingly (or not) going through a divorce.

What keeps a marriage together? Well, here's a story...

My parents have been married for 40+ years. One night they were in a bar that had a stage show. The MC asked people to raise their hands if they had been married 5 or more years. Lots of hands go up. Then he asks for 10 years. Some hands come down. He goes on and on until he has gotten so high that only my parents hands are up. He calls them up on the stage and asks them: "So, what's the secret to a long marriage?". Well, my mom was dumbfounded, so my dad came to her rescue and said the first thing that popped into his head. He uttered the classic line: "You just don't leave."

We've had many laughs over that one!

Hi all back again slight hardware conflictcomputer,re backlog
Marriage if i was a christian the vows i would take would depend on the offshoot of the branch i belonged to e:g amish babtist presbiterian catholic being some of the extremes.
Also needed to be taken into account is marrage terms in these instituted states over the centuaries has changed.

The after effects of the victorian age has slowed down the acceptence of same sex relation ships i am remembering a very old quip "women are for breeding boys are for pleasure" this being perfectly acceptable thinking 2000 odd years ago, i suppose a lot has got to do with the speed at which we can communicate with now.

Power cannot be taken ,well that depends on the enviroment you live in certanly if you live in pack mentality it can by the strongest yet it can al;so be given away by indifference or enmass communism religous intitutions for example require complete obedience,both requireing strong leadership and if as has happened the power is misused it can be taken away ,ex (greg dyke)(oliver cromwell)
two examples .

on the subject of marriages i havn't seen many responses about divorces and the different methods "suttee-desertion" two ends of the scale there.

GL, your dad gave a great answer.

F and I have been married for 31 years. My parents were married for 52 years when my dad died. I'm not sure what the secret is to a successful marriage. It involves respect and compromise and self-sacrifice. I think that selfishness is involved in a lot of bad relationships. By that I mean seeing the individuals in a relationship as more important than the relationship itself. You can't be married and behave as if you were still single and expect the relationship to thrive.

Being in the middle of the end of a marriage, I can say without reservation that if I'd gone into this planning on divorcing, I'd never have gone into it. I can also say that I will be able to look my daughter in the eye and tell her I tried the best I could to stay married.

I see my daughter becoming me, and I don't want that to happen.

So guess what? By getting a divorce, I'm actually letting my daughter have the stable childhood I didn't. How incredibly ironic.

Hypatia, talking off how times have changed.

Today was the universitys re freshers fair, "a chance to get involved in all the societies you were too drunk join during freshers" I was handing out leaflets for the gliding society and stealing sweets from other societies when I noticed a new society had formed.

"S and M? Leather? Adult Babies? Transvesite?, their poster read "join the fetish society." A group of students in leather and vairous other strange outfits, doing what all the other societies were doing - handing out leaflets and smiling.

About three or four years ago, (yes I have been at university that long scary isn't it) a couple of girls in the LGB wanted to hold an S and M workshop. The committee, (I was the publicity officer at the time) were horrified and disgusted by the prospect and the very idea of doing something so unfeminist was voted down by 8 - 2 or some other large majority.

I suppose 20 years ago the idea of having a LGB group at a university was considered shocking.

Incedientaly I recruited their chair into the gliding soceity though I do hope she'll wear something a little more practical when she's going to the airfield.