h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[BC]

[ttox]

[GDZ]

[{Courtesy}]

Z
I see your point about appropriate dress. Can't have heart attacks on airfields. Too much expensive kit to damage. Leather is smart if your slim, and lederhosen are wonderful if your working on a hard surface sitting on your backside. Example: roof repairs. Problem: they cost a fortune

LTP
I wondered what had happened. See the difference. Good stuff.

{[caer]} hard disk completely f**ked.

I'm sorry Caer...loans are reasonably cheap at the moment. There is no shame in debt. Baliffs are persistent and determined though. as long as you pay SOMETHING like a pound or two, they are OK.

My folks have been married for 35 years, not all of them good, but enough of them good that they have stayed together. When I get married I hope it to be for life. My faith demands that from me. I believe in marraige, but I also believe in terminating a bad marraige (done usually by those who are not ready for it or do it for the wrong reasons (looks at GDZ)) that is damagin to the people involved and to the offspring.

I know that this seems to be a contradiction, but I think that if people do not marry for the right reasons, that they are doomed to failure.

Every facet of American Life tends to have a roughly 50% failure rate in marriage. I think that this is indemic to our society of convenience. It is too easy to get married, and too easy to dissolve marriage. When I do get married, it will be at my church, and to get a church wedding you have to go through pre-nuptial counciling. I fully intend to go that route rather than the Elvis Drive Up wedding chapel in Las Vegas (which is was I wanted to do for years).

I have been looking for a prospective mate for so long, that I feel that I must do everything I can to make sure that it is a valid strong relationship before I would wed. I do not want to waste any more time in my life going through what I did two years ago. I still feel nothing but pain over my last breakup. I would not want to go through that again. This makes it hard for me to date, but I will still look for someone, because I feel a familial obligation to not only marry, but to procreate. As I am the last male on my fathers side, I have some obligation to keep the name and line going. I don't want to risk my bloodline and family name (though a common one) by marrying for anything less than the rest of my life.

For comparative purposes, Mrs Seth and I have our traditional ceremony to come sometime in the next couple of years.

See http://www.umanitoba.ca/anthropology/tutor/case_studies/igbo/igbo_marriage.html

.. for a seriously bloodline centred view of marriage.

I hasten to add that things have moved on a bit from this, even in the village.

http://www.nathanielturner.com/igbomarriage.htm shows more of the spirit of the event.

[mr]

[Z]

Marv
You sound like your looking for the perfect mate, it can be done!

Set yourself a task. When you see a "cute" person who you like.
Just go up and say "Excuse me I think you're cute. May I invite you to the coffee shop."

'Course you look for a ring first. But Marv, the more times you try the more possibles you'll get. Rejection is hard, but it's harder and qicker than being lonely.

Flowers are a good investment. Just saying "you look nice today" is priceless.

Seth, I can't get your first link to load. The second one, however... ! I like the way both traditional and religious rites are respresented. Would the wedding described there be considered a large one, there being 500 guests? And is that typical or is that an example of an extravagant wedding?

Those are interesting links, Seth. Thank you. Although the relationships are polygamous, the Igbo women seem to have quite a bit of economic freedom. And the part about a barren woman being able to start her own family and compound with brides is fascinating. I'm assuming that the fathers in this relationship are young men without their own families yet. I wasn't clear how that would work. Then would the have their own wives later on since they have no legal rights to the children in the female-led family? Which makes me wonder if the Igbo men develop close emotional ties to their children the way they do in monogamous marriages.

Exactly the question I asked Mrs Seth, WR. Garri and goat aren't so expensive but for 500?

Traditionally, an Igbo marriage is an alliance between two lineages (though not an arranged marriage as such, everybody has to be ok about it). As everyone within a village is assumed to be kin lineage, marriages within a village are taboo (not the correct word, Mrs Seth says "Aru!" which translates from her dialect as "abomination!"). Anyway, that gives you a guest list of two villages.

It's expensive - Igbo men are rarely able to marry much before 30.

Polygyny still exists but isn't common - and is definitely off the agenda for your's truly. Mrs Seth has made that very clear.

There's an important point to be clear on regarding a woman's status among Igbo; it comes not directly from her husband, but from being a married woman within the clan - with age seniority and number of children setting her rank among the other women. It many ways, wives have a stronger position in Igbo society than in traditional Christian society.

Also, since a family lineage tends to live all together in the same compound, Igbo children are cherished by an extended family with many aunties and uncles to share in their upbringing. This takes a lot of pressure off parenting, and Igbo men definitely do not neglect their children. That would be "Aru!" and the entire community would turn on them.

Z - "A group of students in leather and vairous other strange outfits, doing what all the other societies were doing - handing out leaflets and smiling. ... I recruited their chair into the gliding soceity though I do hope she'll wear something a little more practical when she's going to the airfield."




Caer -


On marriage, etc, the one thing that I will say is that I am immensely proud of my divorce. It took forever, but we both found it equitable. As a result, there are still things which I would ask my ex for advice on which I wouldn't ask anyone else, and I suspect that is true the other way round. The self-discipline involved in not lashing out was considerable.

B

[Munchkin, in avoiding the sleet, listening to diddly diddly very loudly and making soup. Will try now to get through the b'log]

Where's the physics stuff for Sol then Muncher?

[LIL] Working at the post office this morning