h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*puts away his sword as no real danger appears to be imminent and follows Lil*

Well, I have no idea who anyone is, could just do with not being licked to death.
*The Squirrel pulls itself out of the cake*
Ewwww! My tail has got all matted.

/Trails damply after the others, keeping very close to Garanor and his comfortingly large chi... sword./

Ahem - if I could have everybody's attention please!

My list of suspects:

Izobella von Strümpfhosen - Bumblebee
The Operatic Squirrel - Munchkin
Professor Plum - d'Elaphant
Madame Zora - Hypatia
Garanor - Montana Redhead
Maxwell Smart - Witty Moniker
Lady Constance Umbra - Lil
Jacques Clouseau - Garius Lupus
Kitty - Caerwynn
Don E. Gal - Demon Drawer

*finds a comfortable armchair, sits down, fumbles in his pocket for his pipe, lights it*

Ahhhh!

*for once not quite sure about his ability to judge people and draw conclusions*

Pity I have no talent for either drawing or sleuthing

*slightly taken aback by the appearance of a new guest*

As for *my* identity, you have the following options, as I see it:

One of the already mentioned Salonistas
Affy
agcB
Amy the Ant
Bald Bloke
FG
Gw7en
Hatifnat
Phil
Prof. Tonks
PWM
Solnushka
Spiny
Sporky
Styx
Titania

- or possibly Typolifi behind yet another personality!

Un autre personalité! But that would be cheating!

*Slams his fist onto the table to emphasize his point, and sends more cake splatter everywhere*

And you miss severeal possible suspects.

*Points directly at Holmes, hitting him with cake*

And how do we know that you have not listed yourself as someone illse? Aha! To throw the sint! Be prepared to be emmazed by my deductive skill, Monsieur Holmes. I will reveal the true identités of everyone here, but first some champagne.

Garçon! Serviette for Monsieur Holmes!

*Takes some and follows Lil*

*Sips some *

I present to you my list of suspects that is considerably longer than the guests at our fête. And the possibilités of Demon Drawer and Galaxy Babe have surprised me, yes, so I have added them.

Lil
Marv
Typolifi
Garius Lupus
Titania
Witty Moniker
Fraulein Graffenberg
Montana Redhead
Amy
Sol
Munchkin
Caerwynn
Red Dog
Hypatia
Sporky
d'Elaphant
Mac
eatsmice
sea
Candi
Bumblebee
Galaxy Babe
Demon Drawer

The first three we know. I have left off several others whom we have not sin in the Atelier of let.

*Makes some last minute changes in his notepad*

And now, le moment de truth!

Kitty - Titania
Maxwell Smart - Garius Lupus
Garanor - Montana Redhead
Don E. Gal - Demon Drawer
Professor Plum - Solnushka
Operatic Squirrel - Munchkin
Lady Constance Umbra - Coelacanth
Sherlock Holmes - Amy
Izobella von Schtrümpfhosen - Hypatia
Madame Zora - Fraulein Grafenberg
Reindeer - Zeppo/d'Elaphant


That leaves only me. I propose for your consideration that I am, yes! - Typolifi!

*Twists his mustache, looking very sly and getting cake in it.*

How clever you are Monsiuer Clouseau! I am indeed that constant shadow.
/Lady Constance Umbra peels off her long evening gloves to reveal scaley blue skin./

*Takes a fresh and follows Lil*



Oooh! Good job, Coely!

I only have a couple of guesses. I think Operatic Squirrel is Amy and Maxwell Smart might be d'E.

I see that sleuths Holmes and Clouseau do not agree on my true identity.

/* Wags his tail excitedly and drops a at Coelacanth's feet. */

*sets her down and applauds*

Bravo Coely! Well disguised. And by the way I am honoured by your breaking out of lurk mode to attend our party. Thank you for coming.

At first I thought Garanor was Marv, but that was proved wrong.

Now then, Galaxy Babe, what on earth caused you to interject like that? Could it be that you, like me, dropped your mask by accident?

I think Inspector Clouseau is d'Elaphant and I want to vote for whoever IS wearing that disguise to receive a special award for funniest accent.

I also believe that Demon Drawer is disguised as Kitty. And Garius is Maxwell Smart. And we must have more parties like this. ~So~ liberating!

*picks up her and finds a comfy chair in the suite, from which to observe the rest of the proceedings*

/Having shed the Vash costume Marv rejoins the Masque/

I kind of thought that Kitty is FG.
Garanor would be d'E or Courtesy (I am leaning toward Courtesy)
The rest have me stumped save possibly our dear friend the Squirel, whom I think is portrayed by Carmel Bunny.

I am sure that I am dead wrong however, so my guesses don't count.

Oh, and would whoever tripped to the fact that Vash was me explain how?

*wipes cake off his face*

Lady Umbra is Coelacanth? That was a very clever disguise - well done!

I notice both you and I have forgotten at least one name on our list of possible researchers, Inspector - recently returned Joanna

*sits down with a VPB surrounding him*

And I am not Amy

*smokes his pipe, content with the confusion*

And - - might I add that if Galaxy Babe accidentally dropped her masque - which masque was it?

*deep in thought*

/Dithers quite a lot and presents a list on which an awful lot of crossings-out are seen/

Izobella von Strümpfhosen - FG.
The Operatic Squirrel - Amy.
Professor Plum - Caerwyn.
Madame Zora - Titania.
Garanor - Montana Redhead.
Maxwell Smart - Garius Lupus.
Jacques Clouseau - Munchkin.
Sherlock Holmes - Witty M.

/Looks sideways at everyone/ And I'm... Typolifi!

B******s.

*Wipes some cake from its tale*
Well, the only one I came to any conclusion on was believing Monsieur Clouseau was d'Elaphant.
I must say I would be honoured to be either of the two (or was it three) so far listed by me, which is just as well as I am ... nah, I think I'll have another nut cocktail and say later.
*Picks up thimble, removes lump of icing, gets it topped up by a passing bot and hunkers back to see what other thoughts people have.*

*puffs calmly on his pipe*

I take it that was Kitty who dropped her masque rather than Don E. Gal? One point to Typolifi!

*digs in his pockets, pulls out crumpled piece of paper*

This is Typolifi's list:

Izobella von Schtrümpfhosen ----- Bumblebee?
The Operatic Squirrel ----- MR?
Lady Constance Umbra ----- Witty Moniker?
Inspecteur Clouseau ----- d'E?
Sherlock Holmes ----- Amy the ?
Professor Plum ----- Caerwynn?
Maxwell Smart ----- FG?
Madam Zora ----- Garius Lupus?
Don E. Gal ----- Munchkin?
Garanor ----- Titania?
Kitty ----- Solnushka?

*leans back in the armchair, finger tips pressed together*

Marv, I had a hunch that you were Vash, based on these observations:

Comparing the form of the names -
Marv the Grate
Vash the Stampede

a distinct feeling that you were one of the male Salonistas

- and the fact that both Marv and Vash contain the letter 'v'