h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Picks up blond wig from floor and tosses ot aside. Strips off rest of Kitty's outfit to reveal a black woolen kneelength dress, thick black tights and rather clompy black shoes*

Yeah, twas I. And how cross was I when Typolifi got me right first go? And after I stayed up past my bedtime specially to post her, and even made an effort with my spelling Still.

I thought you were Maxwell Smart, Marv. Actually, my list is pure guesses. At one point I had MR playing practically everybody, excepr the ones who were all, seemingly played by d'E. And then I changed my mind and split the list between Titania and Amy

I'm sorry about Kitty. She rather got away with me. She wasn't half that vapid when I was calling her Jane Smith.

Kitty really does spell better than me, doesn't she?

'better than I (do)'

You were splendid, Madame Sol - I actually had you down as sea for a while!

*Stomps foot several times*

BUT I AM A MASTER OF DISGEESE! How can so many see through my disgeese!

*Pulls off mask to reveal d'Elaphant.*

Allow me to put together the different theories we have so far - the numbers indicate the number of votes

Don E. Gal:
Demon Drawer (2) Munchkin (1)

Garanor:
MR (3) Titania (1) Courtesy (1)

Izobella von Strümpfhosen:
Bumblebee (2) FG (1) Hypatia (1)

Jacques Clouseau:
d'Elaphant (3) Garius Lupus (1) Munchkin (1)

Madame Zora:
FG (1) Garius Lupus (1) Hypatia (1) Titania (1)

Maxwell Smart:
d'Elaphant (1) FG (1) Garius Lupus (3) Witty Moniker (1)

Operatic Squirrel:
MR (1) Munchkin (2) Amy the (2) Carmel (1)

Professor Plum:
Caerwynn (2) d'Elaphant (1) Solnushka (1)

Sherlock Holmes:
Amy the (2) Witty Moniker (1)

*ponders*

Does this make any sense to anyone?

*puts out pipe, steps out of VPB, helps himself to a *

Ah - pardon me Inspector d'Elaphant - didn't see you there!

Allow me to shake your hand - splendid work! And that accent - magnifique!

Simulpoost.

/* Removes the plastic antlers from Reindeer to reveal.... Zeppo! */

Big surprise, that.

I hope everyone posts their original lists - I still want to see who people thought I was, and who they thought Clouseau was.

Oh but Clouseau was fantastic d'E. Absolutely superb.

Another clue - who can type so fast? Thanks, Sherlock.

Another simulpost. And actually I had you down as the Squirrel until I decided that Zeppo was trying to mislead us deliberately

And another one!

Sol, I thought Kitty was very good. She has a whole background and everything, you had me convinced that a story line was about to develop. Garlic?

And now are you really played by Typolifi?

*Steps back in amazement at the sight of d'E stepping out of the Inspector's costume*

What a brilliant disguise!

Well Mr Holmes has to be Amy

I suspect that the Squirrel might be Munchkin and that is about as much deduction as I can manage. I'm more useful with a sword.

I assure you sir - I am not Amy the - how do /you/ respond to the accusations that have been made regarding your true identity?

- and I am not a fast typist - I spent quite some time summing up the theories in posting 225

Before I unveil myself, here is my list of suspects:

Isobella - Bumblebee
Operatic Squirrel - Sporky
Kitty - Carmel Bunny or Sol

I have d'E down for Sherlock, Plum and Clouseau (with Clouseau as the highest probability)

I have Titania down for Madame Zora and Sherlock. Perhaps one is Titania and the other is Kristina.

And now for my unmasking. You will all be shocked and amazed!

No?

Would you believe mildly startled?

No?

How about grinning with a slight upward twitch of one eyebrow?

*Pulls off his mask to reveal....

Garius Lupus!*

I'm surprised that anyone DIDN'T guess it was me.

By the way, at first I thought Madame Zora was Lil, then I thought Lady Umbra was Lil. I would never have guessed that she was Wilde.

Ah - finally - I've been dying to get out of this hot tweed suit!










*unbuttons and rids herself of the tweed coat, revealing definitely female forms*










*removes fake nose, a shorter and more regular looking nose appearing*










*takes off earflapped travelling cap and lets her hair down*











What a relief! No more fear of posting as myself - no more desperate attempts to post at odd hours...









*and now everyone can see that it's... Titania!*

But I only have this one disguise, and Kristina is not involved

*madame zora chuckles to herlself*

Are any of the theories about your person (listed in posting no.225) correct, Madame Zora?

*removes tie as well and rolls up sleeves of slightly too large shirt, feeling much more comfortable*

Good Grief!