h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hillbilly pet adoptions are definitely easier than anywhere else apparently. The shelters here are glad to find homes for the pets. We have one no kill shelter, but the others in the area keep them for a certain length of time then put them down. There are a lot more homeless animals than there are people looking to adopt. Minerva was just hours away from being killed when I picked her up. Even if I'm not a perfect 'parent' and don't have an 'ideal' household (3 other cats and a dog), she is happy with me and would be dead now otherwise.

That's tough Marv, when someone takes something personally when it isn't actually personal. One of the hardest things is to let those we love make their own mistakes. I had to learn that if my mother wanted to be an alcoholic, that was her call. My sister was always trying to reform her, and it drove a wedge between them. On the other hand, I couldn't really cope with it, so I withdrew. Same effect for Ma, I guess.

FG, she should be called on it. No contribution, no distribution.

B

Marv, our brother doesn't seem to be able to talk about Dad, but Hyp and I do all the time. We recall all the funny things that he used to do and say. He had a terrific sense of humor, albeit a little dry.
The best way to remember someone is by the good times.

What Ben said. In a small concession to her long "commute", ask her to contribute the paper goods. There is no free lunch.

What a piece of work, that she thinks she is entitled!

> At the moment I am in a college computer lab and I'd rather take my time while looking in to the links.

Quite sensible, and if you get all emotional, you won't be in public.

I'm not sure why it's so hard for people to understand that kids really are annoying. Not that they can help it, it's just their nature. I'm considering having a kid and I don't like hanging around kids. Well, some kids are okay. I know a few who are basically miniature adults, and I like them just fine. It's the snot-nosed brats that make great birth control.

Trying to remember the Bill Hicks routine...

"Now get this, I've been travelling all over the country on British Air. No smoking on British Air. Now let me get this straight, no smoking right but they allow children. Little fairness, huh?

'Well smoking bothers me.'

Well guess what?

I was on this one flight right, I'm flying, I'm sleeping on the plane, I'm f*****g "knackered". Very tired right and I feel this tapping on my head. And I look up and there's this little kid - loose! on the f*****g plane, he's just loose. It's his playground in the sky. And he has decided that his job is to repetitively tap me on the top of the head.

I look across the aisle at his mom. she's just smiling, you know.

Guy next to the mom goes, "They're so cute when they're that small."

Isn't that amazing, letting your kid run loose on a f*****g plane. And then the kid runs over to the emergency exit and he starts flipping that handle to the door. And the guy next to the mom starts to get up, and I go, "Wait a minute... we're about to learn an important lesson right here."

Kwoooshh.

Why you're right, the smaller he gets, the cuter he is.

God, I wish I had a camera right now.

With a telescopic lens.

Like to get a picture of his face when his pudgy little legs hit that farmhouse down there.

Aah, aah, kids. Ha hha.

Stewardess, since we got a breeze in here can we smoke now? Fairly well circulated at this point. Woosh. True story. But, you know."

I love that - the smaller he is, the cuter he gets!

Marv, as always, I hope that things can start getting easier soon. I'll send Prayers and thoughts your way.

Marv, I am thinking of you too.

Little kids, umm, just love them. Pot-roasted. My own beloved niece is the cutest little piece of two-year-old on the entire planet, and I still can't stand her from time-to-time. That episode with all the puking over New Year, best contraceptive device we'd used ever. And we do actually want to have kids pretty soon. Nevertheless, a noisy session in a supermarket still makes me think 'am I nuts? I want one of THOSE? It shrieks it whines it spits it hurls it kicks. Yuk.'

Inevitable conclusion, my hormones are dumber than sawdust.

I have writer's block. Well, WRITER'S BLOCK, really. I absolutely daren't start posting on my new blog, get this, for fear that no one will like it or me. I am paralysed with fright. I know I am being ridiculous and must just go for it. Yes, GO for it. Go on then.... Just GO. For Bob's sake, woman, you've even written most of the damn post in TextEdit. Post it. Post it. Go on. Click Copy. Yes, now click Paste. I said, click Paste. PASTE! PASTE IT! NO, do NOT go and make tea! Come back here right now and post this thing! Right now! OY! Come back!

Godforsaken wimp.

I will somehow incorporate everyone's comments into a tasty whole, serve them to my fellow coworkers, and report back on the reaction when we dish it out.

::somewhat pleased at her use of cooking metaphors::

> am I nuts? I want one of THOSE? It shrieks it whines it spits it hurls it kicks. Yuk

Hah! Yes, exactly. Ew... what's that smell? Is it supposed to look like that?

I think your first entry on your new blog should be the last paragraph of your post, Agapanthus. Very apropos.

FG, the woman sounds like she is counting on the rest of you being nicer than she is herself. IConsidering that she told you upfront that she doesn't plan on ever contributing to the meals, then have it when she isn't there. Or have a compamy lunch in a restaurant or something and don't invite her. That would be more satisfying to me than confronting her and being nasty to her openly. But then I am notorious for avoiding conflict whenever possible.

*has been dozing off and on in her recliner*

Why Sporky, are these LBC lazyboys? Generous of you to loan them to the salon while the sofas are being re-done.

The nasty sort of children you are talking about are UNDISCIPLINED children. If a cat can learn what "NO!" means, then so can a child. The appropriate thing to do, if we were cats or dogs, would be to whack the child arse over tip, sending it cartwheeling down the aisle until it fetched up against a bulkhead. No fuss, no bother. Let the child learn from experience what happens when you mess with non-family adults.

As for animal adoptions, I have found that cats have looked my home over carefully, over a period of weeks, before deciding whether to move in.

Marv, if your and your sisters presence is causing further stress I'd just avoid each other.

I did hope a cat would adopt me, but all I got was Max from No's 29, 30, and 31 wondering if I would be his third owner.

Our RIP adopted us about 11 years ago. That took several months

I'm a bit tired having finished my essay (can't quite believe how many sources I used.)

Good night all

*Chucks papers aside, scattering them. Tracer gets up and begins collecting them into a neat pile.*

Grant writing is done! My advisor only had to tear it apart twice before it became coherent! Now, on to more important matters

Marv. I can't say anything to make this go away, but know you're in my thoughts.

Re: kitty adoptions. I've had friends who have had good and bad experiences with county run animal shelters- sometimes you get a really sweet animal, other times that animal is unwanted for a reason (shredded drapes and territorial markers on the carpet). With good rescue organizations, you usually get an animal that has been fostered in a home for a while, so the foster owner can tell you what quirks the animal has. I think when I finally adopt a pet, I'll get one from a rescue instead of a shelter.

Z- I can empathize with you about your grandpa. My grandma is diabetic, and she complained to my dad tonight about her feet hurting. He went down to check on her, and found a little spot of black tissue on each toe. I don't know if she realizes how serious it is, but I look for her to be admitted into the hospital again.

[SG V] Off with to the vet for some whole-day blood analysis thingy...

Hope all is ultimately well with your Grandma, Scandrea.

Holding you in my thoughts, Marv. Probably best not to get into it with your sister now, but there will be time later on for you to have it out about not hating her.

I strongly suspect I would take the emotional blackmail route with your outrageous coworker. Rather than tell her she is taking advantage of you (which she is of course), I'd look pathetic at her and say that you and your colleagues are feeling that she is taking advantage of her. More calculated to wrongfoot her as she can't just turn it into a flouncing match because it's less confrontational. 'Course, to have the full effect, it does rather depend on her feeling bad that you feel bad but she still ought to feel the social pressure to explain herself beyond clearly outrageous statements.

Or you could imply you don't think she can cook, but then does anyone actually ever sucumb to that kind of reverse psycology?

I have dyed my whites a sort of off colour black by leaving a sock in the mix and pressing the button for boil. I am so cross with myself. Bad housewife. Bad.

*nestles back comfortably in her Queen Anne wing-backed reading chair and puts her feet up on the matching foot stool, ever grateful that Lil allowed her the luxury of her own chair*

Marv, when you are the one doing the supporting, grieving for your father may well not hit you until you return to work and life appears to go on as 'normal'. Your mother will probably get a lot of support for two or three months, but it will be after that when she seems to be coping better and friends call on her less that your father's death will really hit her. So be prepared for emotions you didn't expect.

The RSPCA positively grills you on your suitability to take a cat and now all the recognised animal adoption societies do the same. Regardles of whether you have adopted from them before. You also have to pay around £40-£50 to got towards the cost of speying/neutering and flea and worming treatments. I would say it takes around three years for an adopted cat to totally trust you. Well, as much as a cat ever trusts a human. I have never had a dog, or snake for that matter, so can't say if they are any more trusting.

*wakes up and finds that he seems to be inside the beanbag*

*has nothing to contribute to the present threads of discussion, so tries to find his way out again*

Since the only places I can sit comfortably at the moment are in the car and on the loo - I'll pull up a piece of floor and do some more pilates exercises on my back.

Marv - this grief stuff is so individual to each person and to each family that there isn't a 'right' way to do it; it just happens. I'm glad your friend J is being a help to you.

Re the No Pot-luck Lady - could she be put in charge of organising the occasion? Then she might feel it necessary to personally deal with any shortages of supplies?
Or perhaps the two most tactful people in the office could be deputised to 'deal' with her?
Or perhaps everybody could make a big fuss about her 'left-overs' next time she bings them in - and refer to them on at least a weekly basis "We're looking forward to getting a taste of that wonderful recipe at the next pot-luck". She'd have to be really brazen to ignore such a campaign........Ah yes - of course, that's the problem

There was more I wanted to say - but I can't sit any longer.......