h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*pushes the door open*

Ah, there you all are. Sorry I'm late. Is there a spare seat around?

Many happy returns, Teuchter.

I'm slightly surprised to read about animal hospices visiting you to see if you're fit to adopt. Sure, they want the furries to go to a good home, but you don't get anything like that if you go to a pet shop, do you? Our cat (now deceased) was adopted by the rather simpler procedure of finding her sleeping in my dad's warehouse as a kitten.

May I stick my nose into the problem of the non-providing cow-orker? If subtle hints like "Why don't you bring anything to the pot luck?" haven't worked I reckon the only thing to do is an ultimatum: "If you don't bring stuff to the next one you can't have anything other people have brought." Then if she doesn't comply you get into the tricky business of enforcing the rule. If anyone's got a spare set of stocks that should do it.

Just been watching people destroy houses in Middlesbrough, and for once it wasn't bored kids. It was on telly and for science and safety, honest. Getting two massive great fans to create hurricane-force winds might look scientific, but chucking a distbin into the airstream makes it look like you just want to see the windows smash.

As well as the wind, they flooded one, burnt one and blew one up with natural gas. The way the fire was supposed to start was interesting: overloaded extension lead with a woollen doll leaning against it next to a wicker box with the TV on top. I was half-expecting a box of fireworks, a pile of oily rags and a collection of fine parafin to be on the shelf above that. Apparently shutting you bedroom door buys you 5-10 minutes, by which time the fire brigade might have showed up.

I saw that too Bagpuss - looked like a fun day at work So my dad's rules about always shutting doors, not locking doors on exit routes and *knowing* the exit routes are pretty sound

I phoned a couple of charities when we decided to get beasties. They told us we would not be allowed to adopt any pet but our two seem pretty happy, as do mum's two that we also have this week.

I don't believe it. I've just had to ask yet another mother to leave with her two children because she wouldn't keep them quiet. They were running and shrieking and throwing books all over the floor. You know what she said....sorry, I can't do anything with them. Why? Why can't she do anything with them? She's probably afraid of traumatising the little darlings. Mustn't make them unhappy, you know. If they act like that in public, how on earth do they act at home?

Joins the group of people who are heartily sick of kids.

[fg]

Happy Birthday Teuchter!

I do think that things are more difficult with adopted pets - they are older and set in their ways. A dog that's been abused is bound to need more attention than a dog that's only known a nice happy enviroment.

I'm trying not to judge parents, as I can't have children of my own I expect I'll adopt or foster, and most adopted children have been abused, well in the UK, as single mothers get quite a lot of financial support, so it's unusal for a mother to have to give up her baby.

The last time I was getting broody I browsed a message board for adoptive parents and realised some of the severe behaviour problems that some of the children have. Then realised I really don't think I'm up to that sort of parenting until I've found a girlfriend who's really good with children and wants to do all of the actual bringing them up!

>> until I've found a girlfriend who's really good with children and wants to do all of the actual bringing them up!

Well, that rules me out then.

I had an email today from someone who likes one of the websites I did a couple of years ago, equiring about prices, etc.

Unnfortunately I cannot access the backed up version of my proposal document. On the other hand I have restorred all my 2004 emails, which I suppose is a good thing.

Ben

I know!



(MSN pet?)

Happy Birthday Teuchter, and Congratulations on the house Marv!

Er, Typo or what!

Head said 'Hati' fingers said 'Marv'



Marv at the moment has my thoughts and good wishes..

> You know what she said....sorry, I can't do anything with them.

I would have replied... Oh, I'm sure I could knit them into something fashionable. Or maybe a nice stew...

Maybe she had reason to say she can't do anything with them. Maybe they arrived on a space ship and weren't familiar with earthly ways.

Reasonable excuse.

Thank you. I thought it was reasonable too.

Night all. It's time to call it a day..........or something.

[GDZ]

What should I call days once nights usurp that name?

*has adjusted her recliner and is now reluctant to get up*

We could have a day-calling contest.

Happy birthday Teuchter! A bottle of - it's also a muscle relaxant, you know...

I can't believe it's Thursday already. Time is flying by, but at least it's still light at 04.00 pm now.

Morning All,

There was also a hint of light in the East at 7-30 this morning.

Belated birthday wishes to Teuchter hope the back frees up. Good luck Hati hope the weather warms up a bit.