h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks! I *didn't* know - how embarrassing is that?!?!

the villans watch this thread as eagarly as the heros watch the other thread!

I'll be in my X-wing, preparing it for combat, anyone needs me ...

(Heading for his quarters)

I'll be in my Y-fronts if you need me...

[The X-wing flies out of the Mangar bay and starts flying around]

Lock S-foils in attack position.

[R2-B4 blathers]

Oh ... right. [presses a button.]

[The S-foils are locked in attack position, making the X-wing live up to its name]

Ooh look ... a Sith Infiltrator is heading right towards us.

That's why I kept my Y-fronts on.

*The door to the Captain's Ready Room emerges*

Okay, I'm almost done with the theme song, but I'll need two more kazoos, a saxophone, five yaks (or hamsters), and a polka gun, and...

*Notices that the fleet is approaching Zork*

Oh. We're in the future/present again. And...what's that?

*Motions towards the space ships surrounding Zork*

STUMPED beat us here? I was hoping this would be the easy part of the mission. Okay, everyone to your battle stations or one-man fighters. Get ready to blast our way through, and try not to attract much attention while landing. Most of the people on Zork don't know that space travel has been perfected on other planets yet, so this is a secret meeting. Try to land in an unobtrusive area in the Eastlands, around that cove.

*Points to a position on a holographic map*

Understood? Good, now let's fry those STUMPED goons!

(On the intercom)
If STUMPED beat us here, and all our ships are time-travel equipped, can't we go back a day or two and beat them here first...? It's cheaper on the effects budget

See that Sith Infiltrator? That's got Y2K on it, who was cloned from me!

[YK does some fancy flying to avoid the Sith Infiltrator's firing, realizes that neither has fired yet and that the Sith Infiltrator is doing the exact same thing only better, and decides to fire a blast of lasers and proton torpedoes. They obscure everyone's view of the Sith Infiltrator for a moment but go right through the space where it had been]

Eh? Where'd it go? GAA!

[A Pie Interceptor, a BowTIE Fighter, and a YT-1300 freighter set upon the X-Wing. YK has the fight of his life]

~Irving scrambles to his battlestation, and then realizes he has none~

A lot of help I am!

[It is impossible to describe the astounding battle between the X-Wing, the BowTIE Fighter, the Pie Interceptor, and the YT-1300, so I shan't try]

[Abruptly, the three ships attacking the X-Wing fly away from it]

Eh? What's going on?

*A dark ship draws three of the convoy ships away and a battle ensues between them as laser blasts and projectiles fly in every direction. After fifteen minutes one of the ships is drifting off, gutted by the dark ships MPC's with it's cargo spilling out into space, a second is crippled having had a mine pulled into it's engine pod, and the third is returning to the convoy. The dark ship slips off into space*

Ow, I don't care what universe you're from, that's GOTTA hurt!

[YK looks confused for a moment]

I've just got a funny feeling someone else's saying that.

[flies in on her ship amid the damage and distruction]
I was sitting minding my own business when a small rip in space opened up and i heard someone say they needed 5 yaks. Now im here, i have 5 yaks, not sure what for, but they and i are here!

(Over intercom)
That'll be for me - have them washed and sent to my room...

[Battle!]

[Destruction!]

[Mayhem!]

[CGI!]

[Sorry, couldn't resist!]

[!]

[Sends the 5 yaks to peets room]

Strange happenings here, anyway i can help?

(Sounds of buzzing, mooing, clicking and general carnage in an enclosed space ensue over the still-open intercom)