h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A tendril from another plant snakes out and wraps around Chromes wrist. It starts slowly pulling in the other direction. Soon Chrome is stretched out with one arm over his head, being pulled in one direction and the opposite leg being pulled in the other direction. First he slides a little one way, then a little the other way. Other tendrils can be seen approaching. *

*Chrome101 is dragged back and forth across the aforementioned rock. The friction on his butt causes him to wake up with a startled cry.*

Ouch! Oh, hello, what's happening here?

Okay, everyone, cut it out.

*All of the tendrils instantly let go and snap back into the underbrush*

Chrome, you were knocked senseless by some slime from a plant, and when you fell to the ground, several vines reached out and started fighting over who would eat you. We only saved you just now.

Sorry for the rock-burn. We would have saved you earlier if we knew that rock was there. As it was, we were having too much fun watching the action to interfere.

Want some punch?

Don't drink the blue punch. It's my latest fertilizer solution.

*Sputters and spits out some blue fluid*

NOW you tell me.

*tries the orange punch instead*

Mmmmmm, immensely agreeable...

*Affy hasn't the heart to tell him that it's in fact hyperdrive coolant fluid*

*Ranger Triff returns with the carrot and celery sticks and the potato salad.*

Ok, I think we are ready to eat!

Great!
*buffs an apple on his sleeve until it's well shiny. eats it*

What do you have in the potato salad?

Click.....Clickity click click...Click. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ~film reload~ Clack, snick, whuup...Click..Click.

The potato salad contains potato, and a few other various veggies.

*looks at the potato salad. it may or may not return his gaze. puts his ear to the salad, then is promptly pushed away by hungry picknickers.*

*Takes a big serving of potato salad and eats it just to prove it is okay.*

Yummmmm.

*puts some on a bit of bread. eats*
Mmmmmmm...

~Passes glasses and bottles around~

Has it occured to anyone else that having what is so far essentially a vegitarian picknick in a place full of semi-sentient vegitables, is actually morbid, cruel, and possibly scuicidal? I think we need to make this gathering more carnivorous, for our own safety.

~Produces a side of Beast~

~Ouch!~

Please, leave out the references to cooked meat, as IRL I have amazingly bad sunburn. Am I the first victim of British Summer Time?

Alright. Sushi then.

Sushi? No problem.

Hey Ranger Triff - go and catch us some fish from the pond, please.

*Ranger Triff runs off and dangles a tentacle in the pond. GL goes into the office and pulls out some sticky rice from the fridge.*

Oh, and some seaweed, please, Triff.

Hmmmmm. Better, but still pretty heavy on the vegetarian side. I think some perfectly normal beast sandwiches would do the trick. It's well done, so those of us who are still rare shouldn't be offended.

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about most of the vegetables we are eating. They were volunteers.

Yeah, but it's like volunteering for suicide. Not that there was anything suicidal about these veggies, mind you, but the other plants still may think it disgusting.

Which is why I'm eating fried dorn-beast. It's not as bad as it sounds, actually.