h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Let's run the campaign from here.

l'd be more than pleased to provide the backround bio for The Jello, should one be desired...we go 'way back, the Gelster and l...why, l could tell you stories...
*clears throat, gets hold of self, nervously glances round for signs of spying opposition candidates*
That is. Um. The Jello has absolutely no past record of inappropriate shennanigans, and almost certainly was never arrested on seventeen counts of indecent exposure in the National Cathedral of Washington DC.

This should be a good place.

Yes, Odra, we'll need some kind of bio or background info on The Jello. The Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates need to have links to their home pages as well as a campaign page. So it would be good to have some kind of background similar to a researcher's home page info.

Actually, I think The Jello's somewhat checkered past helps balance the ticket with The Celery.

Right now, Jello is still in residence at CLI, but we can prepare.

Campaign Headquarters: http://www.h2g2.com/A383267
The Celery's Home Page: http://www.h2g2.com/A384257
The Jello's Home Page: http://www.h2g2.com/A384266

Hey, this is a great place! Celery will need a bio as well. I'd provide it, but seeing as he's Garius' creation, we might want to wait for him. I'm betting that he came from the space station, though.

Good plan to get Garius to do The Celery's bio.

Also, we should probably set up positions on the campaign...
Here are some possibilities:

Campaign Manager
Press Secretary
Liaison to The Celery
Liaison to The Jello
Chief of Staff
Media Consultant

Or any other ideas you may have. Any preferences here?

Is there an Illicit Relationship to The Celery? I'm just wondering if we should do a pre-emptive outing of the Peanut Butter and the Cream Cheese, as Affi pointed out earlier.

So I volunteer to be Spin Doctor.

Great! Lil is Spin Doctor. You could probably do some good stuff at the Rumors and Scandals forum http://www.h2g2.com/A374951

In fact, since we haven't officially announced yet (I think Affi is trying to find out where we do that -- probably through Shazz), you could always drop a little denial there that Celery had thrown his hat in the ring (he doesn't wear hats and needs to discuss it with his supporters, etc.), just to confuse them.

Other possible committee member titles:
Party Hack
Intern

Stepping up to the challenge of filling the Vice-Presidential-Entity role, for the sound-minded and capable running of h2g2, is our charming and competent candidate, Ms. Dolores A. Webjello.
Ms. Webjello is a purely internet-based entity, spawning not from the locale of h2g2 only, but from web-applications worldwide. Recently acquitted of the wrongful web-connection-slowing, DNS-error and alabastering charges (the blame being rightfully placed on British Telecom and wonky server hard drives, and currently undergoing a refresher course in loyalty training, Ms. Webjello has the connections, tact, experience and skill required to serve as a liason between the h2g2 Community and the lnternet as a whole, investigating and hopefully solving future page errors and access problems.
Ms. Webjello brings a strong personality and a record of -- ah -- experience to the campaign, making her a strong partner for our candidate, The Celery. Both of them are committed to serving our community to the best of their ability.

So...does that mean l can have the Liason to the Jello position? l'm not too bad at being a political shill...

That or "Party Hack". Just because it's such a splendid title.

Great bio, Odra.

Everyone... On the pages, I've been calling Dolores just 'The Jello'. Do you think I should change it to Dolores A. Webjello? Maybe she could use both names? eg. Dolores A. Webjello on her home page, and in statements, but campaign slogans could still be 'Vote for The Celery and The Jello!' which has an easy ring to it.

I'm going to go over and see if I can get an endorsement from the Save the h2g2 Fishies Campaign, which may be tough since Lisa the Freak is already supporting The Cheese, but Celery's support of h2g2 creations is just perfect for their cause.

I must say, this is a great idea. And a truly joint effort, too: The whole concept of web jello is Lil's, Odra brought it to life, I invented the sentient celery, Affy came up with the idea of it running in the election and Redbeard has set it all up. I think it is an idea that will appeal to alot of researchers, so we might even win! A Bio for Celery: High above H2G2 orbits the H2G2 Space Centre: http://www.h2g2.com/A285653 . On this space centre, is a Biome, run by Garius Lupus, the head gardener of the space station: http://www.h2g2.com/F35868?thread=54331 . In this Biome, GL and other members of CLI have been experimenting with plants and have, among other accomplishments, managed to amplify the inherent intellegence of many plants. One of the most notable of these sentient plants is the Celery. Right from the beginning, the Celery had a strong sense of justice and duty and soon became a spokesman for the more downtrodden members of the Biome community: the grasses and mosses. After winning a campaign for more "Do Not Step on the Grass" signs, a wave of grassroots support swept him to power as Biome Chairman. Under his even-handed governance, the community thrived and the Biome was a safe place to put down roots. He effectively handled the threat to the community posed by the Kudzu family by isolating them and sealing them off in a remote corner. Due to his popularity, his rule would have continued indefinately, had it not been for unfortunate unsubstantiated rumours of a scandal involving various combinations of peanut butter, cream cheese and cheez-whiz. The allegations were never proven and were categorically denied by the Celery, but he nevertheless decided that for the good of the community, he should step down. After a sorrowful resignation speech, he appealed to the workers from CLI to take him to thier labs on H2G2, to remove him from the site of his sorrow. Of course, the CLI employees complied and provided a home for him in their fridge. While in the fridge, the Celery again rose to prominence, this time organizing the loose society he found there. He campaigned for better temperature regulation, an end to the infamous "lights out when door closes" policy and for removal of unidentifiable ancient foodstuffs. His most recent campaign involved a protest over the removal of all entities from the fridge while it housed the pre-operative web jello. Once he realized it was for the safety of those involved, he relented and observed with interest the "operation" that the web jello underwent. After the operation, Celery became friends with the Jello and saw her political potential. It was then that the idea of running for Mayor came to him. He could see all the good he could do, with Jello by his side and so he felt it was his duty to run.

OK, The Celery and The Jello have had their home pages updated to include their official bios. The Campaign page now has a list of the committee (for now I assigned job titles in some cases just to have something there, but feel free to let me know if you want a different one) and we can always add more committee members if we want.

I think we should have an h2g2 creation on the campaign staff as well, perhaps as Intern? Any nominations?

Ampton would be the obvious candidate, since he is the oldest of the h2g2 creations, I think. But Pierrot might be fun to have around, with his caustic comments - maybe as spokesbird or something.

Ampton is now Intern (let them try to make something of that ) and Pierrot is Spokesbird.

Also have small campaign posters on the pages which can be used anywhere.

For ease of getting the word out, I'd like to propose that any member of the campaign committee is qualified to speak for the candidates in regular threads and forums. If there are any contradictions, we can always attribute it to miscommunication within the staff, blame it on the media for taking the remarks out of context, and let our Spin Doctor clean it up . For official statements (like for the Post), we should depend on GL for The Celery's statements and Odra for The Jello's, or run them by the group here.

This is brilliant. I'll speak to Irv as soon as I can and see if he'll put the Aroma Cafe behind Celery-Webjello 2000. I need to do a little text spot graphic that we can put on our pages and any other pages who will support us. I'll do that this evening.

Redbeard, you are absolutely splendid, l must say...
(and thanks for slipping in that missing parenthesis)

Hey. Speaking of garnering support for this ticket, is there any way we could work in a Jello Biafra reference here? Okay, so l know that Ralph Nader did wind up getting the Green Party nomination instead...but how would an ex-member of The Dead Kennedys do for a supporter?

I have no idea. Can I do anything involving the science stuff? This is a perfect opportunity for CLI to have some good old-fashioned shameless self promotion!

Anyway, I've not seen what (or if) I've been appointed to yet, so I'll see who's got what.

You're the Grand Big Person in Charge of Everything, you are, Affi. Though l think Redbeard worded it a tad differently...

Yes, amazing how differently things can be worded. I don't suppose I could also be electronics technition at any of Celery's official public meetings? Oh, and I'm pretty sure that if I don't get kicked offline, I'll be able to figure out who we talk to about running.

l'm quite sure you can be technical delegate of just about everything you want, with that title. You could probably appoint yourself High Lord Priest of the Key Grip and no one would flinch ...

Hee. This is fun. l feel like l'm participating in a coup d'etat.
lt's probably a good thing, though, then, that l didn't just leap into the election forum and announce the campaign...sounds like there are approved channels of communication...

Okay, I found out where you sing up. I think. Anyway, if it isn't the correct place, I'm sure they'll tell us. Anyway, I think Celery and Jello are in the running! Now, to update my user page, the CLI page, the Detective Agency page . . .