h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The current gets stronger and stronger and the sub rushes around in ever tightening circles. GL is pressed into his seat by the centrifugal force.*

Should....be....shot....out....of....here.....any......minute....now....

*The spinning gets faster and faster and finally GL blacks out. When he comes to, the sub is perfectly still, listing at about a 15 degree angle to port. He glances at the monitor that normally shows what is outside in front of the sub. He does a double take, then checks some other instruments. He shakes his head, then checks the instruments again. Finally, there is no escaping the facts and GL scratches his head in puzzlement. Looking around, he sees that the others are now conscious too.*

It seems we are beached. I looks like an island, because there is water all around, but the water actually rises vertically from the edge of the land, rather than continuing out horizontally. And the motion of the water. It doesn't lap against the land like normal waves - it runs parallel with the shore, kinda like a river. So, were on an island, surrounded by walls of water which are circulating around the island. Very strange.

*Thinks for a moment.*

Wait! I've got it! We're on the floor of the ocean, at the bottom of the maelstrom. There's a circluar bit of land, open to the sky above, around which the maelstrom spins. Cool!

*Affy looks outside the porthole, momentarily forgetting the camera issue*

Hmmm, this could be a bit of a problem. If we'd been just a few inches to the left, we would've gotten through easily. However, this sub doesn't have any non-aquatic transportation gear. Now how're we gonna get this thing back into the water?

It's very strange to have dry land in the middle of a whirlpool. I wonder if there's some explanation or cause.

*GL's eyes light up with that scientific zeal that has gotten Affy and him into and out of countless scrapes.*

Say, Affy. Wanna go outside and play?

*GL runs for the main hatch.*

*struggles hard to pull down the corners of her mouth that have been pulled up towards her ears by the centrifugal force*

I guess someone getting out and giving it a push is out of the question? I guess that would leave that person behind...

Haven't you guys got anything you could use to build a robot? *looks around*

[Protoman] Er, I /am/ a robot.

[Roll] Me too.

Sorry - I meant a more simple form of robot - one who wouldn't mind being left behind because it wouldn't probably be aware of it!

[Protoman] Ah, that.

Yes, it's my new digital. I sprayed it with bitter apple spray so it wouldn't be palatable to certain individuals.


@


Want to see the pictures? I just took a neat one of Titania.

Hey, couldn't we just toss an anchor into the water, and have it drag the sub in?

*peels herself off the bulkhead and is looking quite pale*

Uh, not right this minute, d'E. I'm feeling a little dizzy.

/* Snaps a picture of Witty. */

Oooh, another good one.

*Climbs out of the sub and slithers down the outside to the "ground". The dry area is roughly a couple of football fields in area and is mostly sand, but there are also some rocky outcroppings. It is lit with a thin greenish light coming down from far above.*

Now, I wonder....

*GL walks to where he estimates the centre of the circle is.*

...if there is something keeping the water away, it must be about here. I don't feel anything, so whatever it is doesn't repel humans.

*Looks at the ground all around.*

Nothing looks different about this spot, except for the big "X". Just kidding.

[Protoman idly wonders if it repels robots]

Not to be pedantic or anything, but technically centrifugal force doesn't exist. Unless you work at NASA.


*Affy follows GL and looks around*

This is indeed an extremely unusual phenomenon. However, GL, the problem wouldn't necessarily be in the centre. A water-resistant force field about the circumference of this place would also yield similar results. However, this mysterious green light does suggest that the center is where the difficulty is.

*Many things cross Affy's mind, ranging from odd geographic locations creating unusual gravitational pulls that would allow this to happen, to water or air elementals using some power to cause this, to UFOs hovering just above this spot*

[Protoman] You know, the green glow might be sunlight filtering through the water. Or not. I don't know.

I'm dropping out of the conversation with AB, GL - I don't understand him, and he doesn't understand me - two ships passing in the night, and never the two shall meet, obviously...

AB? Sorry if I missed something.

No - sorry, this wasn't maybe the right place for that message, but I wanted to leave it somewhere where I was sure GL would check the backlog... AB refers to Ancient Brit and he has nothing whatsoever to do with this story - sorry again...

I like d'E's suggestion about using the anchor - would that work?

*floating over to d'E*

Did that picture of me turn out any good?

/* Shows Titania her picture - one would never imagine the g-forces could make an elf look so... indescribable */

How do we know that AB is not at the center of the vortex, and in fact causing it?