h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Affy walks into the basement of CLI with his hazard gear on (AKA his normal adventuring outfit). Affy has the computer go into a diagnositc of possible problems, and discovers that a single gear is missing from, of course, the most difficult to reach location in the maze of store rooms, filing cabinets, junk storage areas, catacombs, sewers, dungeons, tunnels, caves, and sublevels beneath the complex. Just to make matters interesting, the computer takes this opportunity to lose all control over those areas, thus releasing any potentially dangerous experiments in those areas*

Hmmmm, looks like this one could be trouble....

H, Affy. Witty here, reporting for duty.

I brought my usual stuff: needlework supplies, my PDA and a bunch of nutri-grain bars. Oh, I brought a first aid kit, too. I hope we don't have to use it.

*Looks brave but a little nervous.*

*Actually is very nervous and not at all brave.*

*sea enters, trying to hide the fact that she's taking notes on the interior corridors of CLI*

*hides notebook*

hey affy!

*follows behind sea, knowing no harm could possible come to him if he sticks by her *

// tags onto the end of the group in the hope that what ever scary is down here, get someone else first.

*floating in, curious the way elves usually are, but also a bit nervous*

Hi guys!

/* Pops down the elevator from Lil's */

Oh, was I supposed to come prepared? Let me see what I have.

/* Rummages through pockets, produces a dog whistle, a rocket backpack, a ham bone, an assortment of plastic bags, dog treats, two pens, and a snowball. */

I wonder why that hasn't melted yet? It's from the Christmas Tree Hunt.

*Lil arrives in "hero" get up -- mylar-spandex body suit and knee boots, all heat-resistant. Over this she has on a tunic of kevlar, and a leather belt on which is slung two scabbards. One holds a knife, the other a small nanogun. She also wears a backpack*

*the securibots point and laugh*


Is it legal for us to have our nanoguns from Roswell in this thread?


I brought anti-claustrophobia pills with me this time. Along with some other stuff. And my Healthstone.

Um, what did you guys do with the Heart of Darkness?

*peeps in, feeling a little scared*

Actually, Lil, taking a nanogun along with us from Roswell is perfectly allowable. GL and I are using something that we haven't found yet in Roswell in another forum, so we can't point fingers.

Oh, and Sea, feel free to take any notes on this part of CLI that you feel STUMPED could use, though I'm not sure how this info could help. If the CLI computer can't control the stuff down there, I don't know how anyone else could.

*Ampton and Chesworth come in, ready for the adventure*

Okay, everyone, I'm going to say this right now: I honestly don't have a 100% guarantee of knowing what we're up against. Most of the experiments down there are failed experiments, meaning that they are quite capable of mutating beyond any recognition. While it's my belief that it probably hasn't happened to a great extent by now, I recommend that everyone be on their toes.

*Pulls a few maps out of a filing cabinet*

Our path starts off simple enough. We'll be heading to the northwest tower, and we can take the elevator down to the first sublevel. We'll then pass through a supply room, where we can pick up any foodstuffs we might think that we'll need, along with the gear that we need to take with us. We'll then cut from that room through my Movie Vault. That's where the first potential for problems will come, due to a reality warping experiment that I had in there a while back. So be sure to be prepared for any kind of weird movie madness for about a minute in there. Then we'll proceed into Tunnel 5-A, which should be a safe location for a while. We'll start as soon as I can get word from GL on whether or not he can make it.

Oh, and Lil, the Heart of Darkness was, last time I checked, safely inside one of our bio-analysis tubes. It's always possible that the recent power overloads have allowed it to escape, though, so we should be prepared.

*Runs into the room.*

Affy! Affy! The lower levels are loose and the computer can't...can't...

*Notices the crowd in the room, all prepared for adventure.*

Oh. I guess you noticed.

*Witty rummages in her tote bag again.*

Oh, good! My nanogun is here. And Lil, there are a few packets of a certain plastic substance in the bottom of my bag. Perhaps we should snag a few fuses in the supply room.

Does anyone have a torch? I have an irrational fear of the dark when there are foul creatures loose...

Excellent, WM! Good idea. I thought of bringing my share of the semtex. but there wasn't room for that and the box of mbougatses in my backpack.

I do have my shigarope lariat, though.

Okay, everyone, we're all here. Off to the northwest tower, then.

*A short march later, everyone is standing inside the opening elevator doors*

*Quietly, so just Affy can hear.*

Did you remember to bring the gear?

You know, when I was a child I used to take great delight in pushing every button in the elevator so we had to stop at every floor. I don't think I'll do that here. I can't even figure out what some of those buttons say.

*sea winks at sporky*

thanks, affy. very kind of you. i'm ready whenever the rest of you are.

You know, when I was a child, I had great fun trying to push as many buttons as possible at the same time just to see what happened - the lift stopped right between floors! Ho hum - my friend and I didn't dare to push the alarm button, because we were not supposed to play with the lift...

*wondering if there might be floors between those ones that are marked with a button in the lift*

*Looks sharply at T, then abruptly relaxes and tries to look non-chalant.*

Well, you folks are certainly bright. But then we've known THAT for a long time. Anyway, the controls on this elevator aren't the same as in a conventional elevator. First of all, as d'E noticed, the buttons aren't numbered. They have zorkish runes on them, which wouldn't even make sense if you were zork-literate, since they are also coded. Furthermore, you need to press a combination of buttons simultaneously and/or in sequence to get anywhere. That's why there are so few buttons. However, I wouldn't press them ALL at once, though. Unless, of course, you WANT to visit another planet. And definately DON'T press the little orange button in the corner.

*GL turns to the control panel, temporarily obscuring the view of the panel from the other occupants. He presses some combination of buttons and the elevator begins to descend.*