h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

/* Zeppo snaps up a gumball and happily chews away. d'E ducks under a passing doughnut. */

GL, is the taste the only thing wrong with those gumballs, or should I be worried about Zeppo?

/* Grabs a loose sliderule and tries to bat at a flying doughnut, but it breaks the sliderule in two. */

..____
OO

[[Din's Fire]]

[Sheik is surrounded by a ring of fire, which he somehow throws at the Montressor thing.]

[Sheik] [to Lil] Don't look at me.

d'E, the taste is bad enough!

*Looks over at Zeppo, who has an odd look on his face*

And, unlike regular gum, it intensifies as you chew. No harmful effects, though. It just gives you all the nutrients you will need for about half a day. We had plans for all sorts of variations: sports gum that gives an energy boost to athletes, somnolent gum that helps put you to sleep, midnight oil gum that helps you stay awake, teeth cleaning gum, burp gum for Happydude (even though he doesn't really need it). There were a few prototypes of those in gum ball machine too, but all of them had that awful flavour.

Hey Affy. It's interesting how the Montressor prototype adapted that doughnut machine to its own purposes. Very resourceful. Might be worth studying that.

*The Montressor/Dougnut hurler steps out to get a clearer shot at the group. It steps on a bunch of gum balls and starts to slide. Its arms and legs begin to flail as it tries to maintain its balance, but it is a losing battle. After a valiant effort, the robot goes down with a crash and ends in a motionless heap.*

Ah well, I guess there's lots of other stuff to study.

*Affy dashes over, and disconnects several wires sticking out of Montressor's new head*

Considering it was a self-done operation, this was a pretty good job. Especially since he must've been operating withouit a brain for at least a second or so. Well, this makes two down and four to go. I'm just glad that these things didn't become as powerful as the real Montressor did. He almost single-handedly destroyed the Mangar about three times on the exact same voyage!

[Sheik] Interesting. Was I there? I forget.

No you weren't, Sheik. We didn't even meet until very recently. Well, I didn't meet *you* until very recently, although it occurred several centuries ago, or something....

*Notices something strange. He wanders over and picks it up*

Say, GL? It's one of these weird orb-thingies from the original UFO. Wish we could figure out more about where they came from. Probably one of the ocean planets....

*Tosses the orb into a nearby pile of other various artifacts and old pieces of machinery*

Shall we continue?

*eyes shining, finding all of this very fascinating*

Oh yes - please... let's continue...

[Sheik sighs then sort of flicks at his left pointer finger. He then proceeds to transform into ... Princess Zelda. She is holding a golden ring with firey letters in an Elvish script that translates into English as "This space intentionally left blank". Presumably, it's why she looked like Sheik.]

[Zelda] You forgot why you went there, didn't you?

*Jumps in surprise*

Ah! No, I didn't forget. I just assumed that this was actually Sheik. I think that you showed up near the end of that mission, princess.

[Zelda] Oh, right, I did.


Note: DO NOT read the rest of this CONTINUITY note if you don't want an Ocarina of Time spoiler!!




























All righty then. Sheik is and always has been and always will be Zelda in disguise. However, she doesn't know it yet.


























There.

Fortunately, that spoiled nothing for me.


Yes, we really had better be getting on. We know that the gear problem has fried a whole vein of spam down in the rat mines, and there may be other situations deteriorating.

Which way? There are two doors besides the one we came through.
No, Zeppo! Wipe the drool off on somebody else.

[Zelda] I dunno, actually.


Maybe I should've had someone more intelligent suddenly pop up. Wait a --


http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A624034#back10

[Zelda] Huh? What was that whistle?

[Protoman teleports in, along with his younger sister Roll and equally younger brother Rock a.k.a. Mega Man.]

[Protoman] [to Mega Man] You were right.

[Mega Man] [to Zelda] Link wanted to know where you were and then Protoman and Roll wanted to join in the adventure when we found out.

[Zelda] Fine, I'll go with you.

[Mega Man] Hang on tight.

[The two teleport away.]

[Protoman] What's been going on?

[They get an update.]

*Blinks a few times*

Okay, the door to the left leads to through an engine room, where we'd have to go through one of those complicated sequence of steps, unless we wish to get fried, sliced, diced, pounded, or otherwise mutilated (for some reason, I felt compelled to have the Infernal Machinery from Enchanter moved down here). The other door leads to a kind of zoo filled with various dangerous biological specimens and failed biology experiments. I recommend the latter.

A zoo? With cuddly animals?

[Protoman] Let's go that way.

[Roll] Yeah. At least /we/ won't get harmed ...

I vote for the animals. I not very good at getting the timing right for those machines.

[Roll] So that's two votes for the animal area ... (I'm not counting myself because I'm counting all the other votes and Protoman and I are both done by YK ...)

*reaching for the box of mbougatses in her backpack* I vote for the animals. Are they caged?

[Protoman] Knowing this kind of adventure, probably not anymore.

The animals should be caged, and some of them are, in fact, cute and cudly. But one animal is dangerously cute and cuddly. GL and I mutated a Tribble once, and well,....it got a little out of hand....