h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Stares at the device on the collar like the Ace in the sleeve that it is*

This could certainly be useful....

ACE?! *double-checks current log-in self status*

Phew... I thought... uh... never mind...

I think this may be a two-way situation here. The device on Zeppo's collar can control the Montressor, but it seems the Montressor can control Zeppo too.

/* The Montressor shifts an anterior lever, and Zeppo's tail suddenly swings violently to one side at a very uncomfortable angle. Zeppo spins around to catch his tail, and the Montressor spins in a tight circle. */

[Protoman sits, charging himself. No, not his Buster, which would make too much noise.]

Ah, it seems the device isn't working quite properly - I'm sure we didn't invent mimic mode until well after the time THAT device was made. And I don't think we ever invented a two-way mimic mode. But it looks like this device is providing just that, at the moment, anyway.

Now, I wonder if that mode works on intentions or on actions. For instance, if the Montressor points a weapon at us with the intent to kill us, will Zeppo simply point his paw at us, or will he attempt to kill us in whatever way he has available? This could be an important point, because it would be relatively simple to make Zeppo move in some manner that we want Montressor to move, but I have no idea how to judge what Zeppo's intentions would be in such a move.

[Protoman] Hmm ... I suppose we could try to get Monty's attention ... then if Zeppo tries to kill us, we could stun him...

[Roll] And if not, this involves our survival how?

[Protoman] We've gotta try the Hadouken on /something/. I could be the first guy ever to defeat a Montressor in one hit.

[Roll] You could also end up being the first Light 'bot ever destroyed.

[Protoman] Since when was life not risky?

Since before I came down here to help fix a broken gear.

NO ONE IS GOING TO STUN ZEPPO!

Now really, what is going through your mind? If we can control the intentions of one by manipulating the thoughts of another, all we have to do is throw a tennis ball and Montressor will go fetch it. Even better, let a squirrel loose in the ducts, or a just let a squirrel and duck loose. If you want to live really dangerously, let a squirrel and a goose loose near a puddle - that creates a Zeppo black hole.
<-- perks up ears again and again at each mention of an animal

/* The Montressor's antennae extend several times for no apparent reason. */

[Protoman] And if we can't control the intentions of one by manipulating the other, or we manipulate the other wrong, we'll be in slight violation of the First Law.

[Roll] No we won't.

[Protoman] We will the "or through inaction allow a human to come to harm" part.

*Affy looks on in amazed interest*

This is an astonishing phenomenon, really. If it weren't a possible threat to life, it'd be great to study it!

Here's a problem, though: can we think of a way to destroy Montressor without harming Zeppo?

*Affy hears some wimperings. It takes a few seconds for him to realize that they come from Ludwig and not Zeppo. Affy snatches a quick glance through the grating, and notes Ludwig's situation before ducking back into hidden safety*

Ludwig seems to be stranded on an island in the middle of a small patch of magma that's managed to seep in. What if Zeppo were to want to get to Ludwig?

[Protoman] We still haven't discovered if intentions affect each other. Now if he were to SUCCEED at getting to Ludwig ...

*whines*

Good idea, Affy. We could throw a tennis ball onto the island. Or better yet, a squirrel!

Anyone got a squirrel?

*Montressor's antenae almost leap out of his head*

*Lil sets her nanogun to pingpong ball, shoves her way forward, cracks open the door and shoots high*

Fetch!

*the pingpong ball lobs its way high in the air, then falls into the magma, followed by the Montressor bot*


Lil recklessly advancing plot


Ludwig -- stay!

/* Leaps forward and grabs Zeppo by the collar as Zeppo dashes for towards the opening and the hot magma. */

[Protoman] .....

Now how do we get Ludwig out?

*Affy quickly looks over Zeppo to make sure that Montressor's tumble into the magma didn't hurt him*

Montressor probably won't be destroyed very rapidly by that magma, but the weight of his frame should be more than enough to make him sink to the bottom. His life expectancy has been seriously lowered, I'd assume.

As for Ludwig, we can probably find some debris that could act as a suitable bridge. Or we could figure out a way to freeze the magma.

*Affy quickly sets a five minute lock on his Snowzar so that he won't be tempted*

How many posts is 5 minutes?

First they throw a ball at me, and then tell me to stay?
I bet it's one of those obedience tests again...


*sits down, bewildered*