h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*completely puzzled*
Who robbed the bins and left ditch water?

Lil, what's that about the Robinson family's father?

[Protoman goes up to the front and prepares to go through the grate.]

[Protoman] [to whoever's in the front] This may not work, but I think I know something that may be able to defeat Montressor in one hit. Something experimental Dr. Light was trying ...

Is someone rubbing chamomile lather?

/* Looks underneath Zeppo */


No, he didn't relieve his bladder.

[Protoman] [still to ... I think GL] When I'm at full power, the excess energy can be used to throw what looks like a fireball. It's supposed to melt through any armor, and when it does, it deposits itself in the power matrix of whoever's on the recieving end. Then no matter what gets hit, its systems overload and it goes boom. It's called the Hadouken.


This is taken directly from the first "Mega Man X" game. When X is at full power (after you've got the hidden fifth capsule from Dr. Light), you hold down, down-forward, forward, and Y in one smooth motion, X says "Kokin!" and throws a fireball, and then whatever he hits is destroyed, no matter how powerful it is. The only possible exception is Sigma's final form, which doesn't let you keep at full powerful long enough to get on level with his only weak spot.

How do, Ken?

Well, I'm doing fine, but my name is Garius. I like the fireball idea, but it has that too-easy-can-never-work feel to it. We need something more complicated, I think.

*Scratches his head in thought, then scratches Zeppos head for good measure. GL's hand again brushes the device on Zeppos collar and the Montressor robot's left arm does one complete revolution about the shoulder. The robot looks at his arm in surprise.*


Pass the word. The robot's arm just ran amok.

Pass the word. The crockpot's aim is slightly stuck.

Oh, sorry about that.


/* Takes out doggy clean-up bag */



I thought he said "That **** stains, what the ****!", but I don't see anything.

His back's in pain from the duck.



*Zeppo's ears perk up.*

Who's back in Spain in a truck?

*roots around in her backpack for a manual and her fingers close around the nanogun*

Okay, that settles it. I'm now officially annoyed by all this nonsense ... uh, nonsense.


[Protoman comes within three-eighths of an inch of punching GL, but because of the First Law, it amounts to a mile.]

You can't be annoyed by nonsense in a hootoo adventure. What nonse are you distinguishing from the usual nonsense?


*Lil thinks a moment, then moves forward, holding the nanogun*

Who is filially tied to his nun's pence?


/* Zeppo continues scratching, but now focuses on the area around his collar. He hits the device a few times with his foot. The Montressor has what looks like a seizure, then recovers and begins to run a self-diagnostic. */

*at the same time that the bot commences a self-diagnostic, Zeppo sits down and begins an earnest cleansing operation of his nether bits*

That's it, I'm outta here. [SFX: Footsteps, then door slam B.]


[Protoman watches this with an unreadable expression on his face.]

Yes, dogs are bound to do that at the most inconspicuous moments, aren't they?

*looks away, pretending not to notice*

*Affy watches Montressor and ponders*

What on Earth could be causing that twitching? It's almost like someone's using a remote control on him.

Using a remote control on Zeppo?! How cruel! We've got to get that device off of him!

/* Reaches for Zeppo's collar, just as the Montressor finishes the self-diagnostic and switches his defenses on to extra-high alert. Zeppo growls, gives his collar another scratch, and the Montressor shudders. */

Yes, that robot is behaving strangely. He seems out of control of himself, somehow. Like you said, Affy, it's as if a remote control is operating on him in some way. But the only thing that could do that to one of those old models is a ...

*glances down at Zeppo's collar, has an "aha" moment.*

Aha! Oops, I mean,


Aha! It's the device on Zeppo's collar!