h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Roll] Great, so let's go!

[Roll] Great, so let's go!

Oh, fine.

*Affy jumps back into the heating duct and looks around*

You know, with these prototype Montressors out of the way, I'd be willing to bet that we'll be able to regain computational control of this region fairly soon. Just as long as we never have to see the real one again....I think he was last seen as an extremely battered, polkad-out lump of metal heading towards Planet X, right? Surely Mr. Masque's finished repairs by now. Unless he just had him recycled, of course.

Yes, I'm sure he's repaired, or something, by now. But Mr. Masque himself has disappeared. Although, now that I think of it, this is the time of year that he usually reappears.

*Wanders aimlessly through the maze of ducts, waiting for serendipity to happen. Right on cue...*

Oh look! I can see another duct through the loose joint in this one. I bet its part of the mine duct system.

Wouldn't surprise me. Parts of the mines actually do go below the (magma) sea level, right? We've just gotta be careful where we tread if this goes to the right place.

Wait a second, let me get this straight - the ducts go underneath the magma and they have LOOSE JOINTS!? We'd have to be fools to go that way.

/* Follows GL and Affy into the ducts, and feels something crinkly stuck in a loose joint. It is a newspaper clipping. */


A Canadian prisoner thought to have escaped was found today in the prison air ducts, where he had been living for the past two months.


At least he wasn't behind bars. These ducts don't go through Canadian prisons, do they?

[Protoman] I sure hope not.

[Roll] Me too!

Canadian prison air ducts? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, perish the thought! Why, we'd have to be incredibly excessive and way over-done to have these ducts travel all the way from here on h2g2 island to Canada, right? I mean, how could we have conceivably pressed the "on" switch on all three necessary teleportation points when the magma melted through the other parts of the ducts that would have made the whole thing cheaper by a few thousand samoleons? What, you think GL and I are gluttons for adventure and cheap surprises, that we purposefully go out of our way to make it possible for more and more threats to peace and quiet to emerge? Shame on you for even thinking along those lines, d'E. These are probably the safest air vents beneath a sea of roiling magma anywhere on this side of the planet.

*Catches up with GL*


GL, as soon as we get back we need to remember to shut off the Canadian Prison System ducts. I think they're catching on to us back there....

[Protoman] Dunno 'bout D'E, but /I/ think you're gluttons for cheap adventure.

Both of us? No, I buy mine. GL waits for the abandonware version, though.

Well, we DO like expensive adventure, too, but that can get, um, expensive.

Anyway...

*Finds an access panel near the loose joint and opens it. Opposite, is a panel on another duct. This other duct is painted bright red and has some sort of crest on it. The crest bears the letters RCMP.*


Ah yes. The, um, Relatively Complicated Mine, uh........Pipe! Yes, that's it. If we cross over to that duct, er, pipe, then it should take us to the mine and then to the slide.

*GL opens the access panel on the red duct, just in time to see a bunch of men wearing pajamas with numbers on them walk by. He waits until they are out of sight, then he steps across the gap between the ducts, into the red duct.*

Watch your step as you come through. You wouldn't want to fall down there.

*Points down the gap between the two ducts.*

Good one, Affy!

*Takes a bow*


*Affy jumps over when he's sure that the coast is clear*


Do you remember how far this thing has to go before we get to the teleportation machine that can send us back to the mines?

*steps over the gap*

Uh - sorry, question probably - but why is the duct red?

Well, it certainly has nothing whatsoever to do with Mounties. Heh heh. Preposterous to even think of it.


I can't tell where we are yet. Hopefully there will be one close by.

I sure hope we can find one soon, too. We should be able to find something that looks familiar soon. I hope.


*Affy, while crawling through the ducts, has started mapping their progress with a bunch of boxes and lines*

/* Looks suspiciously into the room below them */

I just hope that man in the red jacket doesn't start singing "Indian Love Call".

I don't think he will. Starring in that kinda sequal would end Brenden's career, don't you think?

*Rounds a corner just in time to see a man in pajamas step into an alcove and disappear.*

Ah, I think we found one of the transporters.

*Walks to the transporter and examines the settings.*

Hmmm. I wonder if Canada has an extradition treaty with Tahiti. Well, it couldn't hurt...

*Writes "Check Tahiti." on a piece of paper and runs back to where d'E saw the man in the red uniform. Drops the note through the ventilation grill and watches to make sure the man-in-red sees it. Runs back to the transporter and adjust the settings. Steps into the alcove and disappears. Reappears in another duct that looks almost identical to the one he just left.*