h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Castinets!


Oh! Look at that! Flashing at irregular intervals! I should have known. Of course - flashing at irregular itervals. That really narrows things down. Not much doubt now.


You have any idea what that means? Loose wire, maybe?


*squirms upwards as the chattering skull passes by underneath*

Now if it did semaphore I could figure it out... but Red Dog probably wouldn't enjoy the experience.

That skull is getting a long ride out of one key windup. Must be the improbability field.

*puts the walking stick away and gets out her Palm, presses Morse icon and starts to enter .s and -es*

I think the flashes read 'Where are the pies I ordered? Do I have to do everything myself now?'

But I could be wrong.

Well, the bot did order some pies.

Irregular intervals may mean "preparing fist of death." Or possibly "listening to Mahler's Fifth, will respond soon." Or "Writing a novel." Or "Self-activated orange button." Oh, and don't forget the "Mega-flying death kick of doom." Or "Baseball practice preparation."

And I think that the previous list you mentioned is still pretty much valid. It's been a while since I checked notes.

fist of death

Mega flying death kick of doom


You know, if that intermittent flashing red light was accompanied by an insistent beeping then I'd know for sure what it means: "fries are done"

*there is a crash from the back of the cafe as Matina comes straight through the boarded-up back porch door, trailing vines*

*She heads for the counter, steps over the chattering skull, goes round to the back, opens the pie carrier and sets out three fresh pies, still warm and fragrant*

*then she brandishes the snowzar and looks around wildly*

What? What? What's your order? Law and order? Cross the border? Pies in Mordor?

*suddenly she palms up the banana cream pie with her free hand and hurls it with all her androidal strength at the cleaning bot*

Don't mess with the hostess! Drop the Dog! Unhand the boffin!

Woo Hoo! Matina rocks!

Go Matina! Go Matina!

*the garbage bin lid is once again lifted up in defence of incoming missile*

*the other arms abruptly release their hold of various researchers*

*all free arms point accusingly at GL*

HE made the order! HE crossed the border!

*meanwhile, the red light continues to pulsate*

*...short-long-long-short, short, long-short-short*

*short-long, short-long-short-short, short, short-long-short, long*

*...

*Cringes more*

*busy taking notes*

*stand on her toes trying to give note to Caer hoping that she'll be able to decipher it*


... - ..- -- .--. . -..
.- .-.. . .-. -

*Assumes his best innocent "who me?" look*

*From the innocent looking tangled heap of arms and legs on the floor*


You know that flashing red light has me stumped, alert though I am.

But he made us, you great dumb charbot android unalloyed in the void murgatroyd! Avast!

*pockets the snowzar, picks up the other two pies and extends her own arms to a surprising rubbery length, then heaves both at once at the cleaning bot from widely wide angles*


*unpockets the snowzar* There are gangboys about! They didn't have calling cards! Gangwaychaingangbusters! Chocolate!

*while the garbage bin lid manages to fend off the first missile, the other missiles are spot on*



*frantically starts wiping off itself*

*somehow the cleaning bot seems to be picking up Matina's message, possibly through some other channel than an audial*

Made us or not
Me cleaning bot

Me clean up the mess
Maker or less!

*head sviwels around at the mention of gangboys*

*drops to the floor*

THUD !

*enters .--. . -.. .- .-.. . .-. -*

*waits for a second whilst her Palm decodes..*

*reads out the letters*

P E G A L E R T

Does that make any sense?

*looks at the letters more closely*

Hmm, I think my optician was right, I do need reading glasses

What a minute is that 'Peg alert'? Does that make sense?

*Has been watching the flashing red light.*

Hmmmm. I make that out as: ..-. .-. .. . ... / .- .-. . / -.. --- -. .

Of course, I may have made some mistakes.

*Hears Caer*

Peg alert? Not a peg alert? Oh my God, it's a PEG ALERT! There's no hope for us now, if it's a peg alert!


What was a peg alert, again>