h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Matina is being oracular too. "The Chocolate Goons, they stole all the spoons. It's the wrong skin, the great sin, evil grin, in like Flynn and Orchids win." I get the feeling that both bots are trying to tell us about the situation. But what are chocolate goons? Are they good with ?

I use the Morse code from babbage.demon.co.uk but I assumed you didn't want it deciphered too quickly. I put my hands up to missing the first three letters

/* Spits out his PAG and neatly puts it in a nearby receptacle, and does the same for Zeppo's PAG. Still standing in the doorway of the café, the bot's SEP field has been thrown up between him and the others, so d'E nonchalantly goes over to the player piano and sets it to playing Scott Joplin's Pineapple Rag. Zeppo on the other hand does not see milkshakes on the floor as a problem and promptly goes to the center of the room and starts licking them up. */

Ah, the Aroma Café, hasn't changed a bit has it. Still a nice quite place to have a cup of coffee and sit and talk with friends. I really should stop by here more often. Now, IIEM, I think I'll have a, um, a

/* Tries to sort out his own thoughts from the orchid-induced ones */

... a cup of molasses, please. I think, or maybe that's for someone else?

*Molasses sprays everywhere*

d'E! What are you doing?!? The cleaning bot's loose! Get up here!

Eww! I've got molasses bits in my hair. Maybe I should just offer myself up to the cleaning bot, if you all promise to avert your eyes.

Or I could sneak out and go have a bath in the lake... or no, maybe not.

*the bot's head swivels around and seems to be slightly surprised to detect that the water-proof SEP cover that it placed over the IIEM earlier now seems to be leaking*

*stops humming*

IIEM, you're a fool
You're creating a pool

of molasses and cream
and chocolate supreme

Stop taking more orders!
Cease making disorders!

*head swivels around to watch Matina*

This mess is divertin'
attention I'm certain

Those security bots
have they got enough shots?

*realizes that there is too much of a mess to simply mop up*

*retracts arms*

*an industrial strength vacuum extention with a maximum sized head shoots out*

*the sound of the vacuum cleaner is high enough to prevent the IIEM from receiving any orders of any kind*

*Suppresses a grin as the the lower half of the dogsicle is coated in molasses. The chattering skull, now also coated in molasses, contines to nibble the icy red/brown tail.

GL racks his brains and finally has an idea.



*

Hey Matina! The cleaning bot's cooling system could use a boost.

*starts to get some feeling back in his extremities has a vague notion all is not well *

*from the rafters, clinging tighter* Can you imagine that cleaning bot at a poetry slam?

/* Zeppo bristles at the sound of the vacuum cleaner (which is of course every dog's naturaly enemy). Or would bristle if his fur was not covered in molasses, the resulting effect is more like a sudden increase in his already commendable shedding ability. Sticky sweet fur seems to leap onto every nearby surface, and since Zeppo is running around the room barking and trying to get the best angle of attack on the vacuum, every surface is nearby. */


What am I doing? Just trying to liven this place up a little with some music. The piano has a whole set of Joplin rolls and ...

/* catches a glimmer of the leaking SEP field out of the corner of his eye, and starts to wonder if he should pay more attention to something */

um, is that a crossword your working on Caer? How about "PEZ ALERT", like when someone has a gun that shoots candy? Does anyone else have a vague sense that a crossword puzzle is not the most pressing concern at the moment?

d'E, I'm thinking of a 5 letter word that the guide implores you not to do. It begins with 'p', ends with 'c' and has 'ani' in the middle. This might be a good time to ignore the guide's advice on that particular point.

Making disorders! Games without borders!

*inputs Garius's comment*
You are not fooling, this maidbot needs cooling? More like a re-tooling, home schooling, bernouilling, car pooling and spooling, yar.

It's her or me, jamboree, orange B or history.

*as all the cleaning bot's arms are retracted, Matina fires the snowzar then snakes out a rubbery arm, aiming for the orange button on the nape of the cleaning bot's neck*

*decides that the best thing to do is close her eyes, hang on and wait for the nightmare to pass*

*Watches in fascination, never having imagined in his wildest dreams that two of CLI's domestic bots would ever face each other in battle. Makes a mental note to invent a remote shut-down mechanism for all future bots.*

*the chattering skull's battery runs down in mid-chatter leaving it permanently attached to RD's tail*

*Discretely pulls out the key from the back of the wind-up skull and pockets it.*

Still can't believe that we've not turned this into a pie fight....

IIEM, we're going to have a GREAT BIG PARTY *halloos through cupped hands* AND WE NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF JELLO WITH WHIPPED CREAM!!!

*as shes not holding on, that final shout unbalances her and she falls directly on top of the cleaning bot where, thanks to the molasses and fur, she sticks*

*either her shouting was loud enough or the IIEM doesn't take orders from the cleaning bot or the order goes through via orchidpathy: in any case, the IIEM begins to spew strawberry jello (jelly) at a tremendous rate*

HELP!

*disappears under an enormous mound of trifle*

*Tries to hide behind the rafters but still gets covered in jello.*

IIEM, LOTS AND LOTS OF PUDDING! SOME MORE ROOTBEER FLOATS WOULD BE GOOD ALSO!