h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, so we can return to the Crater, just not this part of it. Cool.

In that case,....

*Affy slips off his OmeGauntlet, and picks up the newer model. He slips it onto his hand*

Here's hoping it works like it did when I designed it....

No coming back this way, eh? Maybe I should reconsider the weaponry, then.

*Takes another look at the stockpile and selects an item that looks like a lava lamp with a button in the base and seafoam green and peach bubbles oozing back and forth. She has no idea what is does, but decides it is the one for her.*

I'll take this one.

I've got no idea what that does, Witty. But man, it looks so cool.

Sure, Lil.

*takes the boxes and puts them in the easy access pouch just inside the opening*

They should be easy to reach when you need them.

*also has another look at the weapons and spots walking stick*

I've always wanted a walking stick, very handy for pulling down branches of trees so the you can reach the fruit.

Has it got a seat like a shooting stick?

Bet it doesn't have a gold wolf's head handle like mine.

Say, where did mine get to anyway? Oh yeah, I lent it to Red Dog when we were in sea's pocket. Wonder if he still needs it.

Oh, and as for Admin. Level 2 - I was under the impression that we had to go through there to get to the Cafe. What does your map say about that?

*Looks around for grenades*

*Examines the lava lamp weapon, noticing that the underside of the base is a hollowed out cone with a grip that molds itself to precisely fit her hand. There is a trigger for her thumb and two buttons, one labeled a'a and the other pahoehoe.*

Wow, I think this thing shoots real lava!

*finds himself a shillelagh. When he grips it he finds there are several thumbpads marked in engraved runes*

Hah! Move over, Gandalf!

It's been such a relief to be thinking me own thoughts, without the background chatter of them orchids, but the liquor must have worn off by now. Is this place shielded against orchids?

*examines the stick more closely and notices that one end shift slightly, pulls and revels a long narrow blade that has a bluish tint to it*

Toledo steel, I would say.

*Finds a stash of grenade-shaped things. Grabs a bunch and attaches them to his harness.

No idea what they do but, we'll find out.

*sitting on a shooting stick with a distinctive wolfish look about it cleaning his trusty Dial-a-gun. A wicked Heron-Mark sword sits on a large piece of red damask cloth next to him ready for oiling and sharpening*

Can't beat a trusty Dial-a-Gun, it's a versatile weapon with intelligent pro-logic capabilities allowing it to select an appropriate response to any conceiveable situation. It's Chameleon technology will convert the gun practically instantaneously to a variety of modes including various projectile and energy settings together with some special circumstance functions. In manual mode you can select from over 100 different guns. It is auto-programmeable, enabling it to seize the specifications of any weapon you encounter that is not in it's database and it has my name on the side.

Course having something sharp to stab bad things with also has it's merits

Oooooo so much choice

*takes a metallic silver egg-shaped device from a shelf and reads the tag*

~Tasp: a Tasp stimulates the pleasure centres of your opponents brain. The feeling is so intense it wil incapacitate anyone for long periods of time. It is so compelling that it only has a limited charge so that Tasp operators are not tempted to use it on themselves~



*also picks up a black metallic rod about 10 inches long and 5 inches in circumference and reads that tag as well*

~Molecular Knife: When the switch is depressed a mono-filament - a wire one micron thick but with extremely strong molecular bonds - is deployed. The mono-filament can cut anything and will never dull~

I think that does me !

We are very glad that you appreciate our weapons development programme. We have tried to stay within the spirit of CLI in our R&D.

But we have also maintained the anti-godmodding principle in every weapon. The lavagun has the unfortunate side-effect of walling in its user if used for too long, a consequence I'm sure you can visualise if you think about it. We recommend short to-the-point bursts, preferably not in tunnels.

Those grenades operate on the same principle as the buttonbox Mr Affi picked up earlier; they were tailor-made for STUMPED personnel. Results should be entertaining for you.

Mr. Digby, we are not certain why orchids don't transmit to areas directly under CLI, but we suspect it has to do with ancient shielding erected by Mr. Affi and Mr. Garius. That's why we chose this location.

Entertainment is good.

*swishes the sword around a bit*

It makes a nice noise doesn't it? Beautifully balanced.

The case still feels quite heavy so there must be other gadgets included, but I shall leave those until later.

*does some sliding in her new boots*

*looks avidly at all the remaining weapons* I'd love to arm myself even more heavily, but I'm afraid I won't remember how to make full use of what I've got.

And maybe we'll be able to swing by here again -- from some other direction -- and acquire new toys.

I was apprehensive before, but now I feel eager to go. Even into more tunnels.

We don't need extra weapons, if you ask me. It's more style than substance.

I agree Affy, it is style. Who knows maybe we can scare some enemies off just looking all bad*ss.