h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nice throw!

*ducks as the raft begins to unfurl over everyone's heads*

*Sees Gord's throw, and the return*

Hey! Maybe they did find our boomerangutan plans...but applied the principles to something a bit more useful.

*Sips some *

*Waiting for the stuff to wear off, Affy sees what looks like a reconfigured PDCC. He wisely chooses not to touch it*

Is the raft blowing up something that happens automatically then? I had intended to blow it up later but, now is a good time I suppose.

Whatever upgrades can be done to this, please do them.

*Looks through the weapons cache and finds a somewhat normal-looking weapons harness that has 2 wires that go out to wrist straps. Each wrist strap has two buttons on it. The left buttons are red and green, the right buttons are blue and yellow. Puts the harness on.*

This looks pretty sleek, what do the buttons do?

*Pushes the yellow button.*

*idly picking through stuff, comes across a pair of gloves with heavy straps for around the wrists, presumably to hold them on. puts them on, discovers that cat claws come out of them*



must... have...

*admires a pair of rather smart black leather boots, with kitten heels*

Oh, pretty!

*tries them on and finds that the size adjusts to fit, feeling remarkably comfortable*

*walks around a bit*

I wonder if they are a bit slippery though?

*she does a slide and crosses the room without bumping into anything*

pity they don't grip a little better.

*with which she comes to a complete stop as the soles grip to the floor*

Nice May I have these? I wonder what else they can do.

*having a hard time deciding*

Maybe I could just have an upgrading of my bow and arrows? It would be cool to have target-seeking arrows - just aim and release and see the arrow hit its target, every time!

*Shakes head at Titania*

I doubt you'll find that here, Ti. If you were to fire one of those never-miss arrows at another researcher, it would defy continuity. The whole place would probably blow up in confusion.

However, you might be interested in this.

*Pulls out a self-replenishing quiver, full of rather fat looking arrows.*

If I'm not mistaken, these are rocket arrows. They contain miniturized rocket engines that fire a few seconds after you fire. The result is an arrow that can be fired at targets that are miles away. You'll have to practice a bit with them, since they won't arc as much as regular arrows.

*notices there are no chairs in the room and pulls her collapsible chair out of her backpack, sits down and has a cup of tea*

Ooo... thanks! *accepts the quiver, can hardly wait to try them out*

Are the arrows rechargable?

*Carefully sets the thing down, as an hour has passed IRL. Breathes a sigh of relief at nothing happening*

*Eleven comes back to the group*

It looks as if our researchbots will be able to go ahead with Project Fruitcake, thanks to your invaluable contribution! *nods to Caerwynn*

All of you, feel free to appropriate whatever weapons you find suitable to your martial styles.

Now, this raft... fascinating... Yes, we can kanvlar the outboard surfaces and, let's see, you ought to have a transparent panel set in the hull, and -- *catches sight of the silly string repairs to the lanyards* Oh dear, we had better upgrade your rigging, perhaps new hemp cables with shigawire cores and megarubber sheathing?

*hops into the raft and examines the propulsion system* Water-cooled, water-driven, hmmm, clever, if somewhat primitive. If we added a distiller, you could extract fuel from the jungle's humid atmosphere. Solar panels to improve navigability as well as power the still. Get these wooden barrels out and use woven wire balloons with megarubber sheathing. That would make the raft even more collapsible. We could even enhance the solar powered subsystem to let you draw hot water for tea or scalding invaders.

*hops back out* What do you think, Dr. Zomnker? Is there anything else you'd like to add on? What about defensive weaponry?

Oh, and Chesworth, I think the raft could use a new sound system - that old 8-track player has about had it. You could include a CD collection, too, by bands like the Eagles, Sheryl Crow, The Byrds, Iron Butterfly and the Black Crowes. Oh and maybe one by Jefferson Raft.

That tranparent panel in the hull is a good idea - it will allow us to see what is directly below. And Zomnker, when this is all over, you'll be able offer glass-bottomed raft tours of h2g2 island. You could make a fortune!

And fortune's are good things to make.

If you could slip in a copy of Turin Breaks with the other CDs, that would be most excellent

*a bot hands her the crossbow with a service certificate verifyuing that the laser sight has been realigned*

Thanks, if you have managed to ward it against any more hexes by the CFR, I would be most grateful.

*pours fresh tea into her cup*

I'm the glad the fruitcake is of some help.

The only thing I see being of real use on board, for weapons, would be a retractable bowsprit, a really really sharp one. And maybe something we could roll of the sides and stern that would make it difficult for us to be boarded. For the rest, we're all individually armed...

That sounds great, all of it! As opposed to CDs though, why not go with DVD-A? As far as weaponry is concerned, maybe some auto defenses in case we are all incapacitated or caught by surprise?

Now about this weapons harness, it appears the yellow button doesn't do anything or something must be attached to the harness for it to work.

*Presses the red button, a parachute explodes out the back of the harness, draping everyone within several feet in cloth.*

Wow! That will come in handy someday.

Try pushing the yellow button now. Maybe it retracts the parachute.

I hope the blue button gets the tea stain out of my shirt. A little warning next time?

/* uses the parachute to blot at the stain */

*struggles out from under the parachute, feels the fabric*

Mmmm, real silk, not your modern synthetics. I could get some nice shirts and blouses out of that.