h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*comes closer and looks at all the food*

*falls to his knees*

Ook! [The legends are true!]

A moment later he grabs a piece of cornbread and withdraws to a corner to enjoy it*

*helps herself to another plate full and a second *

*watches Zeppo's antics with the shoe*

*starts melting leaving a puddle on the floor*

*Helps herself to a heaping plate and sits down in the floor.*

So, I'd like to hear about these legends.

WAAAAAAAAAA!

*Falls over backwards as one of his shoes is pulled out from under him. Water and bread go flying. Takes a quick glance over his shoulder to see if the bread lands butter-side-down.*

*watches the bread land butter-side up ....... but smack in the middle of the pool of water next to RD*

Well, as you know, I come from the same timestream as you do, but from a different part of h2g2 island. We Gobolds generally keep away from the humans, but occasionally we hear stories from some of our scouts. Some of the wildest stories concern CLI and the Atelier above it. At least, they seemed wild. Now, as I look around what was once the Atelier, I realize that if anything, the stories underestimated what was actually here.

The stories that appealed most to me were the stories about food. Huge arrays of varying dishes along with a wide choice of beverages - in fact, something like I see before me now. If I ever get back to my own tribe, if they even exist anymore, I'll have some stories of my own to tell.

*heaps a plate with food and pours some wine. Sits down on the floor to eat*

*looks over when sea calls her*

What? You expect me to go back in THERE? ARE YOU CRAZY, GIRLIE? AND MIGHT I ALSO BRING UP THE ISSUE OF SEVERAL YEARS OF BACK PAY!

*Samples more cornbread*

*Helps self to the vast array of food, pours some wine.*

Looks like sea has gotten into a spot of trouble.

*a stream of long-legged spiders suddenly pours out of an upper corner of the moulding, onto a blank patch of wall over the butler's hatch*

*they arrange themselves into symbols and then proceed to blink like a garland of Christmas lights for about 30 seconds*















*the spiders teem of the wall in all different directions and disappear, except for one which takes up a position in the chandelier overhead, where it seems to look steadily down at them*

*forgets her food for a moment, gaping at the spider display*

Did anyone else see that?

AD.
L2

What do you think that means?

*Forgets what he was doing and sticks his chin with his fork*

OW! What does it mean? Why is that one spider remaining?

Should we kill it?

*frowns*

There will be no killing of spiders unless they're poisonous!
It's bad luck! Very bad luck!

*continues eating while pondering over the message*

I wouldn't kill it. It has too many friends.

*had brought out the fresh apple pie and homemade ice cream in time to witness the display*

*putting the dessert down, she now clasps her hands together and recites:*

Strait is the way through Admin Level 2.
Who keep the faith of bots may be but few
But watch and listen for that distant day
When salonistas come again this way.

*she unclaspes her hands, removes a bottle of aspirin from her pocket and, grasping the Red Dogsicle's chin, shakes a few into his mouth, then begins to collect dirty dishes*

Admin Level 2, Admin Level 2... that's probably the spiders' message AD L2 - anyone got any idea of what it refers to?

Flashing spiders? Must be robotic or something.

I'll try some dessert whilst I'm thinking about the message.

No, but I'm amazed at the poetry Matina is reciting. She never used to speak at all. I wonder if she was composing in her head all that time?

*starts slicing up the pie*