h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just one, please - wouldn't want to make too many dirty dishes

Having lived in Arizona all my life, I thought that Phoenix and Tucson bus drivers were pretty much the norm the world over, and that no city bus driver anywhere cared anything for the commuters. It's just what I've grown up with. But I noticed this spring in New Orleans that the bus drivers were some of the friendliest people I'd ever met! So how come all the drivers in Az are jerks?

I need a coffee *serves himself a coffee and leaves for class*

~Irving

Hi guys. Cup of tea, please, milk and sugar.
The greatest jerks I have ever met anywhere on the face of the planet in Public Transport were the Parisians. *remembers several bad experiences in France*

IIEM?
Can I have a coffee please?
Thanks.

*wakes up*
the war of independance was a british victory, as the people who won were not yet american
*runs away*

Yak, yak, yak.

Anyway it's just that this year the trend of Hollywood is find vehicle for their big stars which rewrite Britain's proud war history. You see we didn't have the option of joining in WWI of WWII a couple of years late of else ve vould all be talking deutsche nein, by now.

Hey you, come back here. The no-longer-British Colonials fought a war in order to become Americans. That's the official line, anyway.

I think the American Revolution would make a boring movie no matter what nationality staged it.

{scene: Valley Forge, dead of winter. soldiers dressed in rags gnawbones as they huddle around meager fires}
George Washington: Foh-doh-di-oh-doh.

lets not be beastly to the germans

*returns, waving union jack, singing jerusalem, spraying everyone with tea from a giant water pistol*
crow bones, presumably

Strangely enough - the American War of Independance was a great British Victory against France. America would not have won without French help, and France spent so much money on the war that they bankrupted themselves, created a revolution and made their king lose his head whilst Britain went on to gain a world Empire.
Lost America, won Africa - not a bad deal

Unch I wasn't being nasty to the Germans no doubt in Hollywood's next rewrite of history, Winston Churchill shoots himself in a bunker in Westminster, and the and National Socialism campaigners vandalised the staue of Adolf Hitler in Parliament Square on May day 2000.

Very subtle, Unch.

Or maybe not. *wiping tea off glasses*

i didnt think you were - its a noel coward song
and on the subject, anecdote attributed to british climber don whillans:
scene - climbing hut in the swiss alps
time - shortly after germanys 60s world cup victory

german climber: i see we have beaten you at your national sport
whillans: and we beat you at yours. twice.

*hands round kleenex*

*washes up*

Tadaa!
The wanderer returns.
Coffee please IIEM,
Unch, check the cold room before 22.25.

Oh well inverse Tadaa,
The wanderer wanders out again.

I'm not sure I understand this forum anymore

*teleports in from the space station with Big C, dries the tea and honey out of his hair with a towel he finds and begins his campaign to get more people to come visit the space station* Hi...um well sorry for my appearance, you see up in the labs on the space station there have been some funny goings-on...just trust me. I wish that you all could find time to visit it in you travelings, it actually quite entertaining. Thanks. *puts the towel back, then decides he's better off keeping it* You don't mind do you....? Thanks. *Teleports back to the space station*

I've been there, actually -- I'm employed there