h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Everyone Else] NO!!!

Sorry - can someone explain the BBC thing again? Last time I was here, I was on the Space Station "Big C", just before going back in time on a dinosaur hunt with Witty and the Prof...? http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F17563?thread=110707&latest=1 Peet is accompanied by a small lizard-like creature, now back in a sack, which all the people on that mission now know looks uncannily like the 21st century Minos K.> Hey! Doesn't that lizard guy over there look like...

[YK] Hey, what?

OK, are there any other loose threads that need to be tied into this one lying about? I'm getting a thread headache trying to sort it all out.

And my watch is going again.

Face-Okay, I think it's time to explain this, so that we can all be going home....I've got an appointment later on this afternoon.

If everyone checks their backlog far back enough, Minos Krylma isn't even *from* this timeline! He was from a movie that, I believe, was called The Donuts Are Not Enough. Then, do to a forum scanning accident at Lil's Atelier, he was brought into being.

Now, do to a remarkable coincidence, the Krylma Clan does, in fact, exist, as does Minos Krylma, his father, the Atlanteans, etc. However, in *this* alternate timeline, we have forcibly evolved ourselves by now, and are centuries ahead of anything h2g2 has ever witnessed.

Now, as per the rules of interspacial conduct on Pan-Dimensional Entities, we're not technically allowed to interfere. However, due to a special favor cashed in with the Q Continuum, Pan's League, the Ellimist, and Crayak, I was allowed to show up here.

So, I'm here to make sure that no more comes of this.

*The jewel case appears in Affy's hands*

Face-Affy, destroy it.

*The continuity gun (without software) appears in Minos Krylma's hands*

Face-Minos, destroy it.

*The rat-ants dissapear*

Minos-Oh, now come on!

Face-Oh, don't worry. They're all aboard the Draco now, safely, every last one. I was instructed to bring this to a close ASAP. We can't have people darting around, transforming continuity, now can we?

*The Face dissapears, along with his younger self*

Face VO-Oh, and the memory sweep has been finished, CLI Adventurers. No need to mess up history in 33 BC. Oh, and ask YK about what he saw in the other time tunnel, you may need to know about that later.

*The voice fades out, just as a few explosions go off in the time machine*

*eating and wearing 3-D glasses*
[George] Cool special effects.

I hate it when that happens.

[George] When what happens?

When you have unexplained explosions in your time machine. It takes forever to clean up. (Pun intended... )

[George] Does that mean that there has been an explosion at every point in time?

Cool! he left the slide projector.

/* pops in his own tray of slides */

Ok, this is Zeppo when he was about 4 months old...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A541009

[George] This slide is me seized with intent, and overwhelming urge to repent, so I climbed up the dome of St Peter's in Rome, where I stayed through the following lent.

*The Professor stands up from one of the comfy seats.*

Well that's that, then. No more continuity mess-ups. This time the /only/ copy of the Moderation Software will be destroyed, as was my intention in the beginning.

*Looks at his Watch.*

Oh hell! I'm supposed to be in San Beta in this timeline! All this time travel made me come to the wrong place. I'll have to nip back to the exact point I entered the time machine in CLI, /not/ enter it, accelerate that timeline, and wind up back to normal.

See you all later!

*He presses a button on his Watch, and he inverts himself into it, returning back to his rightful time and place.*

[YK] Well, that's more or less sorted out ...

*Minos Krylma, grinning insanely now that his rat-ants are now all safe, snaps his fingers. Two more shuttles descend from the Draco, one to pick up Minos, still clutching his useless continuity gun, and the other to carry the remains of the STUMPED Time Machine back to the STUMPED headquarters*

Minos-Sorry, Y2K, Yowuzupman, and all other STUMPED members, only room for one!

*The shuttles vanish into the sky, while Affy examines the Jewel Case*

Well, this is an interesting proposition....destroy it, or just hide away the knowledge, and tell myself that I'll never use it.

*Affy grins insanely*

I'll just decrypt the info in the back rooms, this time, so that no one can get to it. I won't take it out, either, until a future plotline requires it.

*Affy taps his watch, and teleports away*

[Y2K exits]

[YK] So, what's going on /here/?

[Link] Well, it's a long story ...

[YK] We've got plenty of time.

[Exeunt]

*Roll Credits*

* Post credit sequence of Peet searching for the super-intelligent lizard, who he hasn't seen since the explosions in the time machine...


Just leaving room for the sequel...

*The CLI-Mini UFO crashes into a giant tub of coffee behind Joanna's, and begins the trip up and then down the back of Mt. SandEverest. The coffee tub hits the stopper in the scene, but coffee splashes out and covers the camera*

Director-CUT!!!