h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You see? This is what is bound to happen when KL is allowed to play with his balls by himself.

[Link] [ignoring that] We're wating for Godot.

[Saria] Huh?

[Link explains "Waiting for Godot" to her]

*wonders if that was a french movie that she might have seen*

It's a play.

[George] I thought it was a TV show.

*Suddenly 42 GL's emerge from the time machine. Two stand guard over the time machine and the remaining 40 run over and tackle KL. They surround him and demand the continuity gun. It is impossible for him to shoot all of them, and it is impossible for him to get in or out of the time machine. Either he hands over the gun, or the GL's will take it.*

[George] Oh no! !

[Link has an idea of how to get around it, but he ain't tellin'.]

[George] Hi God, it's me Margaret.

[Link] I think your brain's come undone.

*Ten other KL's step out of the trees, continuity guns ready. At the same moment, the trees are blown apart by the descending Draco, aiming all phazers, dracon beams, tazer lances, mounted lazer guns, and other assorted weapons at the GL's*

Didn't I already say that I had already been through the time machine before, Garius? And didn't you deduce that I would never, under any circumstances, forget to allow for the time travel of others? And, my friend, you aren't thinking four dimensionally. I could, hypothetically, have a hundred different mes emerge from the trees, defeat you now, and then send me through the time machine a hundred times afterwards.

But, just to prove to you how useless all of this fighting is,....

*One of the KLs shoots the time machine with his gun, and it now never allowed Garius to travel through time at any point during this adventure, resulting in only one GL. The ten other Minos Krylmas melt back into the trees*

Now, people, I've won this. You have no chance to stop me. Just accept that what I'm doing here will result in no harm for you later on. If I was planning an invasion army with these, don't you think that I would have wiped the CLI Rat-ants from existence? No! You know why? These things are pathetic invasion troops! Just look at them! You see 'em coming, just have the national guard spray some Raid. Watch, they'll run away in a microsecond.

Now, just enjoy your game of tennis, and stop trying to defeat me. The only one who can defeat me now, is me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh, wait. I'm not being evil. No evil laughter needed. Hmmmm....

*Ignores his slight breach of protocol, and returns to watching the game and his cargo of rat-ants*

[Link] HA! I /knew/ it! Rodrigo, why don't you take Saria home.

[Rodrigo] All right.

[None of them makes any move]

[Elbert] You seem to have it pretty good, Krymla.

Are you kidding? I've still got a huge supply of rat-ants to carry up to the Draco.

*The Draco heads back up into the sky, to prevent the hover units from knocking down the trees, and the shuttlecraft continue to carry rat-ants up*

Besides, I predict at least two more attempts to ruin my day before this adventure is over.

*Watches as the queen rat-ant and the leader are carted into a shuttle by themselves, which lifts off*

/* Tosses to Amy. Due to terribly poor aim and being distracted by the sudden appearance and disappearance of multiple Gariuses Garii? and Krymla Leaders, he throws the ball to high. It bounces forcefully off a tree. Zeppo chases, and attempts to catch it as it passes the Krymla Leader, but mistakes the continuity gun and for a stick and grabs that in error.

As Zeppo pulls on the continuity gun, it goes off, covering a wide swath of the Majic Forest.

Suddenly all evidence of the year-ago forest fire is gone. */

*the fuzzy in the tree watches the tennis game with marked interest*

*FYI: this is a bookmark, and has no bearing whatsoever on the conversation at hand. have a nice day. *

[Ancba] Yes, but what was that comment about Y2K wasting no expense?

[SFX: Bowling strike as a sphere hits Y2K]

D'OH! I had more than one window open and posted that in the wrong one! Pay it no mind.


[Another Link walks out from behind a tree and grabs the Continuity Gun from Zeppo. The previous Link walks over to KL's time machine and turns to KL.]

[Link] May I?


To prevent a temporal paradox, let's say that KL agrees. Everyone figure out for themselves what happens next.


[What is now the current Link gives KL the Continuity Gun.]

[Link] Let's say I'm paying back for what I did on the OmegaMatic.


Link's going to do something sneaky and silly on the OmegaMatic that will be against STUMPED.

Okay, Link. Have fun with whatever it is you plan to do on the OmegaMatic.

OH, and just for the sake of continuity, is everyone aware that there is not really a current setting for the continuity gun for that amount of damage? I mean, the Magic Forest is pretty big. I don't think that one single shot from this gun could cover the whole thing.

*Another cargo of rat-ants goes*

[George] Wow, Look at THAT! I's so increable and unbelievable to stumble across in the forest!

*George points to a sipping a *
*As everybody looks at the , George swipes the Continuity Gun and blasts KL so that KL never built, planned to build, thought up the idea of building, bought, purches the materials to build, borrowed, or used, the gun. In a blast of illogical smoke, the gun ceases to be.*

[George] Twas brillig and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the moam raths outgrabe.

Is someone with a continuity gun allowed to say "for the sake of continuity..."

Anyway, you seem to be right. Beyond about a 2-meter radius the forest is showing signs of having burnt and re-grown. But wouldn't that have been interesting if that had been a continuity cannon?