h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

VERY well noticed!

Finally, an organization that actually makes sense!! Let me in, please!

For my first contribution: why *are* there those little notices for computer equipment: "Please make sure the [insert device here] is plugged into an electrical socket." I'm not actually sure how vital these are, but they wouldn't be needed at all in an ideal world.

-ajdecon

Quite a list here... wowiee! How about warnings on air freshners, hair spray, and perfume that list all of the ingredients, tell you that they are harmful if they come in contact with any glands that secrete liquid, or if they are ingested, and, yet!, they always say: DO NOT SPRAY IN/AT FACE!????

One more vote for sanity here. Please sign me up.

On a box of household candles, "Use with non-inflammible candle holders"
and all those poxy adverts that say "Spend $x and you save $y".

Bloody loonies.

- TWF

my car has a big red light that comes on to tell me when one of the other slightly smaller red lights has come on, just in case i hadn't noticed, and a big green one which comes on to tell me that none of the red ones are on. which is just plain odd

span
btw congrats on getting onto the front page via peta's picks - good stuff!

Can I join? I've got something from the Netherlands on plastic bags for weed: ROOK MET MATE (don't smoke too much) or ROOK MET MATEN (smoke with your friends)

That's similar to all the troubleshooting lists for electrical appliances - the first item in the list is always something like "Appliance does not work", with the highly useful suggestion to "Make sure the appliance is plugged in & turned on"

...Like, doh!!

AndyF

That's ok. If I forgive you, will you forgive me?

Put my former message right behind Icarus' last message, and see if it makes sense.

Please accept my most humble apologies on account of not being able to spell a simple word like "Ambulance" backwards. I must now commit ceremonial Hari Kiri. *Scrambles off in search of something long and pointy*

When in Toronto Airport I saw a sign that said; "Please do not discuss bombs" Does that count? There is also the instructions on shampoo bottles; "Wet hair, lather shampoo, rinse", but you may have that already and I just missed it.

I want to join too and come bearing stupidity:

May cause drowsiness on sleep aids.

Hey... what about Soda cans that advertise that they're fat free? Am I mistaken, but aren't the only requirements for something being soda is that it doesn't have fat and that it has carbonation? ? I really don't get it... or how about tea bags with that "Lift Here" thingy, with the arrow... now, is there a single person out there who couldn't figure out that you lift it there? I mean, come on! Its the easiest place to open the bloody tea bag... Or, how about plastic dishes that say "Do not place in Oven"... hello? Its PLASTIC, made out of oil... maleable? Ring any bells? Or how about cleaners that say Flammable... yet they make a note of all the places not to use it... like on a stove with heat on... duh? I mean, if they're going to list the sources, the least they could do is list all of the sources...

Well Gw7en, let me be the first to welcome you. I'm Lord Xeen, I joined yesterday.

Here's another one: The sheer amount of technology that is concentrated on silly things like shoes. I own one pair of shoes and I only care that they are not too flashy and fit my feet. But Shepherd went into space with less technology at his hands than I see in some Nike ads. I don't know if this counts, but it seems a pain to me.

Sincerly,
Lord Xeen

Sign me up too please

I bring a gift of some stupid warnings
I purchaced a Kite in Boston many years ago coverd in warnings:

NEVER CROSS ROAD OR HIGHWAYS WHEN FLYING THIS KITE
NEVER FLY YOUR KITE NEAR POWER LINES
NEVER TRY TO FREE A KITE FROM POWER LINES
NEVER FLY YOU KITE NEAR LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT
NEVER PUT AN INFLAMABLE SUBSTANCE ON YOUR KITE

Sign me up too please

I bring a gift of some stupid warnings
I purchaced a Kite in Boston many years ago coverd in warnings:

NEVER CROSS ROAD OR HIGHWAYS WHEN FLYING THIS KITE
NEVER FLY YOUR KITE NEAR POWER LINES
NEVER TRY TO FREE A KITE FROM POWER LINES
NEVER FLY YOU KITE NEAR LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT
NEVER PUT ANY INFLAMABLE SUBSTANCE ON YOUR KITE

I really like the one about low flying aircraft. I've never seen one fly low enough to grab a kite, but image, man, the image!

Sign me up for a worthy cause (not that I think that the `middle third of the population` who need these stupid instructions should be sent off to colonise a world of their own or something!)

As an entry fee I offer the slip of paper found inside my new scanner which informs me that the first thing to do if my scanned images have imperfections is to "Clean Glass Panel with a Soft Lint-Free Cloth".

I think I should resign from this forum after spending 25 minutes today trying to work out what was wrong with the network printer (at work) only to discover that it had run out of paper. oops.

And we always take the mickey out of the IT dept, who always ask us 'Is it switched on' when we ring up to complain about enormous system failures.

I'm not sure I should put that one up.