h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please, Please, Please can I join. My contribution will be that Shampoo actually has directions. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Helloooo it's hair shampoo, what else would you do?

How about this:
On a stone paperweight:
"Best before 2020". It's a rock. How is it going to go off?

Definately put me in!
I bought my mum an Iron for Xmas last year, one of the latest Rowenta's (She is a woman of Simple tastes my mother) And the warning on it was Do Not Iron Clothes Whilst on Body. errr, Look, I know I'm Lazy, but...

So am I part of the movement or nicht? I hope I am (part of the movement).

I think my forum entry might have got lost in the rest of them. Look about 20 entries into this thread...

(on a more serious - and boring - note) depending on what sort of rock it is, going from extremes of climates may cause structural weaknesses. So, I guess, they are trying to cover themselves legally from damage caused by the thing being carried from the tropics to the arctics and back again on a 6-monthly basis - after 20 years I'd expect the poor rock may be showing signs of structural weakness at this point?

Surely all these idiotic comments are responses to legal predicaments the producers have found themselves in at the hands of disgruntled consumers. So maybe the producers shouldn't be picked upon - but the lawyers for encouraging litigious behaviour?

I need to know... is this against people who occasionally do very stupid things as well as habitually stupid people? I've mad ALOT of mistakes I wouldn't want to admit here.

By all means , sign me up.
As an example that stands out in my memory , there were the detailed instructions covering the first two pages of a stereo manual on :
a; opening the box
b; removing the unit
c; extracting the manual
This was compleat with diagrams showing just where the manual was to be found under the stereo.

I think my favourite must be starting a PC without a keyboard attached and watch the screen go "Keyboard error. Press F1 to continue..." (though that's more art than actually an error message, I think )

And please, I'd very much like to join the Good Cause!

I bought a pair of kitchen scissors and they were attached to a piece of cardboard with two plastic ties (the type that cannot be unfastened when they have been fastened) and these instructions were printed on the back of the cardboard:

"To remove from the packaging, cut the nylon belt ties and gently remove the scissors from the card."

So now I just need another pair of scissors to cut the plastic ties on this pair of scissors. I wonder if this is a bit like the chicken and the egg.

The one about "keyboard error press F1" can also be found on my sister forum to ICARUS, the one about stupid copmuter messages, errors and otherwise, to be found here http://www.h2g2.com/A191152

any more always welcome.

Chris

I always use a knife, in situations like that.

I want in!!!
Have any of you ever noticed the silca gel (or crystal) packets that come with stereo and computer equipment?
The one with the new pc said "do not eat"
I see, might we think we got free gum/candy with the pc?

I have always loved these seemingly senseless instuctions. so much so that I have a coffee mug with an arrow and the words
"This End Up"

What about pet food cans/bags that state 'Not for human consumption'? ( or did someone mention that?)

I know there are more, I'll be back!

Something 17-18 screenfuls further up in this thread made me remember a thing from my previous job. We had some printed product specs that changed from time to time. Now, to ensure we were looking at the most recent, they changed the procedure so that new ones were sent out, stamped "Current Version". And no, I'm not kidding... Everyone in the DK office had hysterics for about a week over that

You know The Rambling Misfits newsletter (the one by TV's Frink?). Doesn't it make u mad when TVF says time & time again "please only post here once", and you get these berks who post over and over again!

And another thing. The counter on my homepage will read 12 visitors one day, 15 the next, 12 again the next day, then 0, and then 12 again. Can't FastTrack (can't remember the proper name, that's if I've got it wrong at all) program counters that work?

Mine's a bit like that. It's read 125 hits for about 2 weeks now. Maybe I'm just unpopular. *Sob*

Sign me up, our technicians told us that we should not put our figers through the band-saw we were learning to use in the workshop, (for cutting up metal!)

I believe the town in question is York, but it's only in a certain part of the town.

Man I'm chuffed to see my names on the I.C.A.R.U.S. page. Though I've changed my name again, don't bother updating the thing with 'Cat's Squirrel', OK?

Aw, I'm not on there
How about, anything with "not to be taken internally" on the lable.
(Or is that 'label', spelling, huh, who needs it!)