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Zach Garland is a bearded AquarianSubGenius Texan with delusions of grandeur who suffers from insomnia, classic depression, and a mild case of nymphomania. Zach moderates the unofficial
h2g2 Yahoo Club which is not affiliated or sanctioned in any offical capacity by TDV and don't go sayin' that it is because that would be bad. He also has an online journal which he no longer updates.

Nearing the end of an agreeable but tiresome divorce, Zach is now accepting applications from any women who would like to audition for the part of the next ex-Mrs. Garland. Zach is both a pacifist and a constitutionalist, which really confuses him when it comes to gun control. His favorite color is purple, and if he were elected president of the United States, his first order of business would be to make your birthday a national holiday.

If you send him email, he will attempt to refrain from saying nasty things about your mother.

Pieces of Brain - Thoughts and recollections of ZachsMind, pulled directly from this cranium. They're not intended to be submissions to the editors. In most cases they have NOT been submitted for approval or rejection, as it's painfully obvious the editors are swamped with submissions already. These are editorials and ruminations about whatever I find interesting at the time.

Waiting for Rejection -
These offerings HAVE been submitted to the Powers That Be for consideration into the h2g2 maelstrom, either for rejection or acceptance. Actually, not all of these have been submitted. After I submitted four or five of them, I realized it's doubtful the editors will have time to look them over before the next millenia. This list is intended for the actual Guide, and were written with that in mind.

Obsolete Rubbish -
The Powers That Be don't like deleting stuff. These are pages that I'm not in the mood to update or don't think should have ever been written or maybe they just strike me wrong today. I don't like 'em. Maybe someday I'll go back and try to figure out if there's something I can do with them or if I should just delete them and replace them with ramblings about my bladder or something. Right now they're here if you're really bored and want to read the worst I have to offer here.