A spoiler is either the actual words or deeds involved in spoiling something for someone else, or it is a derogatory term reserved for individuals who actually participate in the act of spoiling something for someone else.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary defines the word spoiler as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first up against the wall when the revolution came." ...Whoops. Terribly sorry. Wrong book. However, that faux pas is not too far off the mark. For in actuality, people usually want to line up spoilers against a wall and shoot them. They not only take the fun out of whatever's going on for everyone else, they often seem to take evil satisfaction from doing so. In other words, hanging's too good for them.

Even so, this page is dedicated towards the glamorizing and glorification of said spoilers, so if you do not wish to have every form of media known to Mankind that YOU personally have not yet seen ruined for you, please leave the room.

There are many kinds of spoilers. For this first edition of this user page, we will focus on two of them. That is, at least until I come up with other examples.

First, there is the Joke Spoiler. This is an individual who knows many jokes by heart. As you try to tell the latest joke you just painstakingly committed to memory, he barks out the punchline seconds before you get to say it. This not only steals your thunder, but ruins the timing of the joke, so in the end the only one who is actually laughing is the spoiler himself.

These cretins don't deserve to breathe, which of course is why we are so happy to honor their kind with this here user page.

The other kind which we will place upon a pedestal today is the Movie Spoiler. These individuals saw the movie before you did, and tell you how it ends. Sometimes they only tell a little bit just to rub your nose in the fact that they got to see the film before you did. However, they rationalize that they are actually consciously attempting to be kind.

Unfortunately for you, the one little tidbit of information that they do tell you just happens to be the one bit of information you DIDN'T want to know before you got to see the bloody movie yourself.

Sometimes Movie Spoilers don't MEAN to be spoilers. They let it slip, or they are so excited about having recently seen the movie that they want to talk about the movie at length with other people who have seen it, and since they can't find anyone else nearby who has actually seen the movie, they end up talking to you instead, all to your chagrin.

The above is of course not said in order to apologize for them or excuse their behavior. In fact, regardless of whether or not they MEANT to be movie spoilers, they should still be drawn, quartered, and their remains should be hoisted up on a pike and left on public display, to set as an example.

Spoilers are without a doubt the single most pathetic and despicable form of waste deposits known to Mankind, which naturally makes them the perfect choice of person to idolize and worship here in this, the SPOILERS h2g2.com User Page.

Hosted by me, Chief Spoiler, Zachsmind. [bows as people boo, throwing tomatoes and very small rocks at him.] Thank you. Thank you very much.

Below are some examples of spoilers, submitted by fellow spoilers like yourself. Feel free to Submit your own as well, and I will include them here at my earliest opportunity. Please keep in mind the format as shown below. As the list increases, I will give each list its own page. If you know of other spoilers or just want to talk about spoiling in general to the general populous, feel free to use the message board, accessible via the very bottom of this page.

Share and enjoy.

MOVIE SPOILERS - Submitted Examples

"His mum's dead, it's just her body sitting by the window."

Spoiler for: Psycho

Spoiled by: Fatz

"The portal was closed, the key master and gate keeper were turned back into humans and the city rejoiced."

Spoiler for: Ghostbusters

Spoiled by: Jim the Wonder Llama

MORE MOVIE SPOILERS by: TV's Frink

The Big Lebowski: Bunny wasn't kidnapped, the German girl cut off her toe for nothing, and Donny's ashes end up on The Dude's face.

Fletch Lives: Fletch does not die at the end.

Batman: Batman gets the girl at the end.

Batman Returns: Batman does not get the girl at the end.

Austin Powers: Austin gets EVERY girl.

Austin Powers 2: Scott Evil is the love child of Dr. Evil and Frau.

Sleepless In Seattle: Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fall in love.

You've Got Mail: Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fall in love.

The next movie starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks: Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fall in love.

Fargo: The big guy grinds up the little guy, except for his leg.

YET MORE MOVIE SPOILERS by: Zachsmind

"Rosebud is the name of his sled."

Spoiler for: Citizen Kane

"Robin doesn't know that, Galahad pulls a Clinton, Lancelot is arrested, Bedevere gets pooped on, and Arthur never finds the grail."

Spoiler for: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Vader cuts off Luke's hand, then admits to being his father."

Spoiler for: The Empire Strikes Back

"Ryan and the ignorant schmuck survive but any characters you actually like don't make it back."

Spoiler for: Saving Private Ryan

"Marion and Indy don't look directly at it as the wrath of God takes out all the germans. Then they make it back to the states and the ark is locked safely away somewhere in the pentagon."

Spoiler for: Raiders of the Lost Ark

"Bailey stops wishing he'd never been born, and Clarence gets his wings."

Spoiler for: It's a Wonderful Life

"He kills his mom because she's the Queen of Diamonds."

Spoiler for: Manchurian Candidate

"Your guess is as good as mine. I've seen it four times and I still don't know."

Spoiler for: The Blair Witch Project

1. To get to the other side.
2. "It's the cat!"
3. "I don't know, I fell off the perch!"
4. Two, but they must be really small.
5. "Honest officer! I didn't know she was a penguin!"
6. "NO I'M THE ARENA MANAGER!"