A Conversation for The h2g2 Assassins guild
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 10, 2004
*hits rat with an ugly stick* Klatu veratu nikto! Taco!
The Torture Chamber
invisiblespace_rat Posted Oct 10, 2004
*ugly stick has no effect, as rat's ugliness is already maxed out*
rat takes careful aim, and projects a glob of rat saliva onto evilclaw's face, then says
"...ecin yrev t'nsaw taht"
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 10, 2004
"Def Eb Ot Eraperp"
*concentrates on rat as reality twists to better fit EvilClaw's "reality"*
*rat shimmers and then turns into one armed, one horned purple people eater*
*afterthought: wipes off rat spit*
The Torture Chamber
SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness Posted Oct 10, 2004
...hmmm...well that's no good EvilClaw...your part people...but I'm full of bull...er...never mind that...Hey look he's trying to take over your jobs as torturers...you can't have that can you? Think of the pidder padder of little assasin feet scurrying around...
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 10, 2004
what are you cs'ing about? CS=cow "stuff"
The Torture Chamber
invisiblespace_rat Posted Oct 10, 2004
*looks innocently at supermoo*
Hey...are you a cow? I'm REALLY hungry, and there are no ducks around...
could I have a little nibble of you to find out if you taste good????
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 11, 2004
oh he tastes like beef invisiblespaceratwhoisnowapeopleeater! try a nibble. if you kill him you get the bag o money
The Torture Chamber
Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! Posted Oct 11, 2004
sounds like a fair deal...
and if you can do it while locked up i will forget about the duck killing
The Torture Chamber
SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness Posted Oct 11, 2004
...*unsheeths Sword of Legends*
If you want to get me you'll have to get thru...me...
The Torture Chamber
invisiblespace_rat Posted Oct 12, 2004
rat concentrates r.e.a.l.l.y. hard...suddenly the sword flies out of supermoo's hand, and slices her/it's udder. The wound is painful and messy, and to make things worse the sword of legends shatters as it falls on the ground. There is a short silence, and then rat's body starts to levitate...if it weren't for the clamps rat would be airborne. Then,
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 12, 2004
two problems with that.. A: "He" doesn't have udders
B: the sword of legends is unbreakable. he has a billion dollar insurance policy on it, so the firm snuck in and cast a magic industructible spell on it. go figure.
The Torture Chamber
SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness Posted Oct 12, 2004
well even if I did have udders, and I don't since I'm a guy...I would now be rid of that embarassment without anycharge to me...
*puts some salts on the large gaping wound and the beeding stops*
OUCH THE PAIN OF IT ALL!!!
EVILCLAW! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO HURT SO!!!
oh and now you have to pay them again as the bleeding has stoped...
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 12, 2004
thats what you get for rubbing S.A.L.T.S. into the wound.... oh wait. thats one of its FDA approved uses. well then... it hurts b/c i'm a bitter and spiteful person. and i don't have to pay them b/c this time i stated you have to die
The Torture Chamber
Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! Posted Oct 12, 2004
Well...
*loads a viper arrow into a crossbow and aims*
If this dosnt kill you your going to be very ill...
The Torture Chamber
Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! Posted Oct 12, 2004
*the shock of being shouted at makes her pull the trigger*
Ooops...
*reloads and this time aims at supermoo*
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 12, 2004
*staggers as he is hit by poisened viper arrow thing*
*realizes he is dying again*
Oh *#$& this. *convulses in pain*
must... take salts... my only...hope.
WILL HE MAKE IT? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!
The Torture Chamber
Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! Posted Oct 12, 2004
This wont in anyway lower the amount you were going to pay will it?
because we will pick your pockets while your temporaraly dead...
The Torture Chamber
EvilClaw: The Catmanthing Posted Oct 12, 2004
i will bill you the cost of the arrow but... i can't really charge you for killing me.. it wasn't in the contract you see.
*EvilClaw dies*
*EvilClaw comes back in through door*
i just had a premonition that i'm going to die! *gets hit by arrow*
Key: Complain about this post
The Torture Chamber
- 941: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 10, 2004)
- 942: invisiblespace_rat (Oct 10, 2004)
- 943: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 10, 2004)
- 944: SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness (Oct 10, 2004)
- 945: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 10, 2004)
- 946: invisiblespace_rat (Oct 10, 2004)
- 947: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 11, 2004)
- 948: Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! (Oct 11, 2004)
- 949: nullspace (Oct 11, 2004)
- 950: SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness (Oct 11, 2004)
- 951: invisiblespace_rat (Oct 12, 2004)
- 952: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 12, 2004)
- 953: SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness (Oct 12, 2004)
- 954: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 12, 2004)
- 955: Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! (Oct 12, 2004)
- 956: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 12, 2004)
- 957: Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! (Oct 12, 2004)
- 958: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 12, 2004)
- 959: Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! (Oct 12, 2004)
- 960: EvilClaw: The Catmanthing (Oct 12, 2004)
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