h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*she puts a revolver, a sniper rifle, a pocket cross bow, an AK 47 a laser gun and an High Voltage Electricity Gun on the ground in front of her, the target is 300m away.
She fires 30 rounds from each gun in turn, sitting, standing and lying down. The HVEG and laser guns burn up the targets so she has to keep moving down the row. All the shots land perfectly on target. She finally gets up and turns to the instructor*
Do you have somewhere I can practise firing from above the target sir?

*hands trainee A/G harness*

try that.

thank you very much *takes harness and says brightly*
my father had terrible trouble once with a contract because the target was absolutely paranoid about being stabbed so he was always surrounded by bodyguards

*looks at khamzin and shakes his head*
these new assasins have no idea do they? i mean they dont even know what A/G is.

Storm Crow, I was trained in the classical school of assassination, with daggers and poisons. My father, may he rest in peace, would have had 40 fits if he thought that I was getting involved with anti gravity harnesses or even an AK 47!

Now where was I, before real life so rudely interrupted me yesterday?
As I was saying, my father had this contract, and the only way he could fulfil it was to infiltrate the household as a footman for three months, then when the vicitim went away on holiday all the staff had to gather in the hall to see him go, and as a lowly footman he was standing in the gallery around the hall, and managed to get a poison dart into the victim's bald spot before scarpering to avoid capture. He survived,else I wouldn't be here!
*Steps into A/G harness then rises 5 feet to fire at the targets again with the AK 47 and the cross bow. After about 10 rounds to work out the angle at which to hit the bulls eye she gets all her shots on target.*

fair enough, i take your point, but if you are to be a successful assasin then you must learn to be flexible and adopt new techniques.

who says I'm not-thats why I'm here

in that case i think you should learn how to use one of these.
* hands Rosemary a C.R.E.W.S rifle*

what do you mean by that
*steps out of A/G harness, takes rifle off StormCrow and assesses its weight and handling before lying down*

well you're here to learn and this is the most versatile and useful piece of technology on the go at the moment,
problem is you have to train hard to use it with 100% effectiveness

i meant: vat vas the anacronym supossed to stand vor?

*checks it's loaded with blanks, takes safety catch off, then starts to zero the sights*

I have a tendancy to shoot up and to the right if I don't correct it. this isn't as heavy a gun as some I've tried

*looks through sniper sight at target and aims carefully at the target, shooting off ten rounds. Puts safety catch on and walks over to inspect target*
Not bad for a first attempt for a new gun, they're all round or on the bull

C.R.E.W.S stands for Coherent Radiation Emmitting Weapons System.
basically a super powerful plasma/laser cannon hybrid

riiiight sir-*brightly* are they much good for close up work, or for keeping the target intact for that matter?
must be very good if you don't want the proof to exist, but how the heck do you get your reward in that case

C*R*E*W*S have variable power settings from being able to carry out micrometer welding (yes i know big gun- small welding) through to being able to vapourise small mechs and command bunkers, depending on its configuration.

the laser part of the system is capable of producing plasma via a subsystem embedded in the coolant unit.
(and could you please stop being so pedantic!)